This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i sleep with the fishes

 

I’m sitting in my office listening to the bubbling of Andie’s fish tank.  These fish take up a tremendous amount of mental effort in this house.  I’m sure you’ve read my posts here and here about how Andie was taking care of a fish and eventually won another fish and using my keen mathematical skills she now has two fish.  Well, I wrote about it and it’s not my fault you didn’t read it.

 

Andie brought her fish home for Christmas because the chances of them surviving 3 weeks while she was on break were slim.  After much discussion about WHERE they should live in this house it was decided they should live in my office.  They’ve been here a week and the other day we had this conversation:

 

Me:                  Andie, have you fed your fish lately?

Andie:             OH MY GOD! I forgot to feed my fish for 2 days.

Me:                  How could you forget them?

Andie:             I can’t believe it.

Me:                  It’s ok, they were alive earlier swimming around.

Andie:             (runs and feeds the fish) I’m awful

Me:                  I thought about feeding them but I didn’t know what to do

Andie:             All you do is add the food

Me:                  How do you remember at school?

Andie:             I pass them every day because they’re in my living room.

Me:                  ahhh…so you don’t forget them at school?

Andie:             no

Me:                  maybe you should have put them in your bedroom upstairs

Andie:             I don’t like the noise the tank makes.  I can’t sleep with them

Me:                  really? I don’t mind the bubbling noise

Kevin:             maybe mommy can sleep with the fishes?

Me:                  sleep with the fishes?

Kevin:             yeah, in the office

Me:                  you want to kill me?

Andie:             what do you mean?

Me:                  I can just see someone asking “where’s Lynn?” and you say “she’s sleeping with the fishes”

Andie:             you’re an idiot mom

Me:                  and then they say “you mean you killed her?”

(and then I cracked up because I’m the only one who thinks I’m funny)

Kevin:             Oh my god … what the hell is wrong with you?

Me:                  and then you say “no! I mean she’s literally in the other room sleeping with the fishes”

Andie:             mom, you aren’t the least bit funny

Me:                  (I can’t stop laughing at the thought of this conversation) Come on, I must be THE LEAST BIT FUNNY

Andie:             no, you’re not

Me:                  maybe you don’t get it?

Andie:             no, I get it.  It’s just not funny

Kevin:             I think I agree with Andie

And there you are! Once again I’m totally unappreciated in my family.  No wonder they want to kill me… or at least have me sleep with the fishes!

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18 Comments

  1. Rebecca
    December 30, 2011

    I find you the most bit funny! I should get a fish tank just so I can say that!

    • Lynn
      December 30, 2011

      hahaha…thanks

  2. SoberJulie
    December 30, 2011

    And yet it’s the Mothering which has made us this crazy isn’t it???
    SoberJulie recently posted..Drinking and DrivingMy Profile

    • Lynn
      December 30, 2011

      yep! although some might say that i was crazy first!

  3. Melanie
    December 30, 2011

    This blog always makes me laugh. Probably because I have the same sense of humor where I’m sometimes the only one laughing. I just defend it by saying, “Andy Kaufman only did humor for himself too. And he was on Taxi!” This really does nothing to help out my case.

    • Lynn
      December 30, 2011

      well, it does a LITTLE to help out your case. I think i’m funny…stupid kids

  4. Pamela D Hart
    December 30, 2011

    Other people would think your family drowned you if they say “Lynn’s sleeping with the fishes”! Or maybe that would be other MOM’S who have lost their marbles as WE most certainly have raising ungrateful little beasts and living with ungrateful husbands who just don’t “get” it!

    Make THEM all sleep with the damn fishes! That should teach them! Jerks.
    Pamela D Hart recently posted..What Goes AroundMy Profile

    • Lynn
      December 30, 2011

      I know…i get NO appreciation from my family

  5. Mayor Gia
    December 30, 2011

    Hahahha, I think it’s humorous. Maybe they were just too upset with the though of you really “sleeping with the fishes” to think its funny. *tear* What sensitive kids you have!
    Mayor Gia recently posted..Last Post of the YEAR. BOOM!My Profile

    • Lynn
      December 30, 2011

      right! I’m sure my kids wouldn’t notice if i actually disappeared

  6. Julie
    December 30, 2011

    Fook em if they don’t appreciate your outstanding sense of humor.

    • Lynn
      December 30, 2011

      i totally agree…stupid kids

  7. Dazee Dreamer
    December 30, 2011

    Omg, I would totally have been thinking and cracking up with you.

    • Lynn
      December 30, 2011

      ok, you’re adopted

  8. Well, as you can see, obviously we ALL think you are funny as hell. The first thing I thought when I saw your post was “oh shit, what’s going on?!?!” It’s amazing how concerned you can become over people you’ve never “met” in person! Glad you and mr. swimmypants are okay!

  9. Lynn
    December 30, 2011

    hahaha…we are all good down here

  10. Bettina143
    January 2, 2012

    Haha… This is what makes you a super mom!
    Bettina143 recently posted..Hébergement Grand BornandMy Profile

  11. stacy
    January 3, 2012

    You could tell her if she doesnt think it’s funny she can take care of her own damn fish. That would be funny. “laugh along or mom will go crazy” two options…..

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