This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i solve Kevin’s third shift problems

 

Sometimes the best conversations that Kevin and I have come from something “REAL” that Kevin is talking about and then I JUST have to interject.  This is one such conversation.  Here’s the setup.

 

We own a manufacturing company and normally our company has two shifts.  First shift is from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm; second shift is from 4:00 pm to 12:00 am.  However, we have just become involved with a company that has an Extrusion plant.  What is an Extrusion plant?  That’s not pertinent to this conversation so go ahead and Google it.  What is important is that extrusion plants need to run 24/7 so they apparently also have a third shift from 12:00 am to 8:00 am.  Ok, are you with me?

 

So this conversation took place this morning:

 

Me:                  so, what’s today going to be like?

Kevin:             we’re going to need to deal with this extrusion plant

Me:                  didn’t you have to fire the second shift supervisor yesterday?

Kevin:             yeah, he couldn’t be found and he was asleep in the bathroom

Me:                  it must be hard to find people to work from 4:00 pm -12:00 am

Kevin:             yeah, it’s even harder to find people to work from 12:00 am -8:00 am

Me:                  why does it need to run around the clock anyway?

Kevin:             because most of the waste is created in start up and shut down so it’s more cost efficient to never shut down and run 24/7

(Kevin, always the engineer)

Me:                  ahhhh…that makes sense

Kevin:             yeah, it’s just hard to find people who work all night

Me:                  so you need nocturnal people?

Kevin:             yeah

Me:                  OH MY GOD!!

Kevin:             what?

Me:                  I have an INCREDIBLE IDEA!

Kevin:             … and …

Me:                  you should hire VAMPIRES!!

Kevin:             Vampires?

Me:                  yeah, they’re nocturnal and in fact, they can’t even be out in the daytime

Kevin:             Lynn, all the shifts have some daylight in it

Me:                  well, can’t we just change the shifts a little so one is completely dark?

Kevin:             what happens if they get hungry?

Me:                  hmmm … better not have any real people on that shift

Kevin:             perhaps an all vampire shift?

Me:                  you could have a True Blood machine … like right next to the coke machine

Kevin:             it WOULD be awful to walk into the plant and find a massacre

Me:                  unfortunately, according to “True Blood” you’d probably need to move to Louisiana

Kevin:             yeah, I suppose we’d have to relocate to Bon Temps

Me:                  … which is the LAST place I’d ever live.  The place is crawling with crazy creatures.

Kevin:             perhaps this solution isn’t the best one for my problem?

Lynn:              I never get any credit for my creative ideas

Kevin:             I’m looking forward to sharing this with my guys (that’s what he calls his team:  MY GUYS)

Me:                  I should write this up as a blog post

Kevin:             you could call it “in which Lynn solves my third-shift problems”

Me:                  WITH VAMPIRES

Kevin:             right…with VAMPIRES

Me:                  god I’m good!

So there you are… thinking outside of the box?  Even I can hardly believe how awesome I am.

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.

31 Comments

  1. Sarah :)
    November 4, 2011

    Lynn, I think you might be a little hasty in your decision to never live in Bon Temp. It has the potential to be a really good time. Did you know that Bon Temp literally means “Good Time” in French? The True Blood vending machine is an excellent idea…you might also consider having a live donor for those that don’t drink True Blood. Also, in this economy, I’m sure there are plenty of vampires that would consider relocating in order to find work. They are also excellent extruders. I can’t wait to see this ad on my local Craigslist.

    • Lynn
      November 4, 2011

      My favorite line was “they are also excellent extruders” and I can’t wait to share that with Kevin. He thinks you’re funny ya know!

      • Sarah :)
        November 4, 2011

        So, I googled “vampires + extrusion” in order to back up my claim that vampires are, in deed, excellent extruders. Interestingly, your blog post was the SECOND result. The first was a review of the movie “Priest 3D” in which they tell of “hives, which are tall ant-hill type mountains made of vampire extrusion”. Since this movie is obviously based on a true story, we have to assume that vampires are (now and well into the future) unmatched extrusion experts. I’m sure this is not news to you, or you wouldn’t have so perfectly suggested them for the third shift. Kevin is lucky to have you.

        • Lynn
          November 4, 2011

          hahahaha…i have no reply

          • Sarah :)
            November 4, 2011

            Wow. Are you speechless? If so, I consider this my greatest accomplishment of the day. Also, I feel I should reveal that I worked third shift for a while myself. That probably sheds a lot (Notice how that’s two words? Aren’t you proud?) of light on my comments. :)

            • Lynn
              November 4, 2011

              wow…so many people who have worked third shift…unbelievable

  2. Michelle
    November 4, 2011

    As a 3rd shift worker, I love this idea.

    • Lynn
      November 4, 2011

      Wow…you’re third shift? Good on you! Impressive

      • Michelle
        November 4, 2011

        Third shift’s not so bad, but True Blood vending machine and Eric Northman-type vampires would make nights so much more interesting around here.

        • Lynn
          November 4, 2011

          yeah…if they looked like Eric it would probably be ok

  3. Julie
    November 4, 2011

    I overlap for about half an hour with the night shift. They are getting ready to leave as I begin my day. They are an interesting group. I do believe a few are indeed, the un-dead.

    • Lynn
      November 4, 2011

      wowl…so they’re everywhere

  4. Theresa
    November 4, 2011

    LOL I used to be a Pit Boss at a HorseShoe Casino…I worked the graveyard shift. And we used to call our customers who would be there all nite the Vampires.
    We had the Tramp Vamps
    The E.S. (Emotionally sucking) Vamp.
    The Veteran Vamps.
    The Noxious Vamps (the ones who reeked of booze or body odor or bad breath)
    The Fledgling Vamps or Baby Vamps
    And a bunch of Baby Vamps were called A Brood of Baby Vamps! LOL
    When bored we would spend time trying to come up with different names for our Vampires. LOL

    • Lynn
      November 4, 2011

      hahaha…i’m just visualizing this…too funny

  5. Mrs Dzo
    November 4, 2011

    Epic.

    • Lynn
      November 4, 2011

      thanks

  6. Vicki
    November 4, 2011

    I freakin LOVE this post! Totally reminds me of conversations we have around my house!

    • Lynn
      November 4, 2011

      and yet? i’m never appreciated for all my help

  7. Pamela D Hart
    November 4, 2011

    I’m nocturnal but actually working at night would have to really suck. Not that I’d want to suck blood, but I do think Vampires are pretty cool! And your idea about hiring them to work that 3rd shift is absolutely brilliant! No wonder Kevin married you! ;-)
    Pamela D Hart recently posted..Grounded AgainMy Profile

    • Lynn
      November 4, 2011

      i know right? i can’t understand why he doesn’t take my suggestions seriously

  8. Suniverse
    November 4, 2011

    You are a management genius. Truly. I’m thinking you should be one of those consultants who swoop in and fix stuff. Swoop LIKE A VAMPIRE.

  9. Annie
    November 4, 2011

    I would have a hard time keeping my eyes open for shift 2 or 3 so that rules out me being a vampire. I suspected this long ago since I faint at the sight of blood and I’m not into jagged teeth unless eating corn. Funny post!!
    Annie recently posted..Stop the Noise…I Can’t Hear Myself Drink!My Profile

    • Lynn
      November 4, 2011

      Why thank you…it’s really just a normal conversation at my house where I remain forever unappreciated

  10. Tim@sogeshirts
    November 4, 2011

    Lol pretty funny Lynn. Vampires though are always so busy killing people and having sex. Not sure how productive they would be as workers.
    Tim@sogeshirts recently posted..Drumming with DynamicsMy Profile

    • Lynn
      November 4, 2011

      Well, with their incredible speed and strength, perhaps they can do all their work in half the time

  11. Stephanie
    November 6, 2011

    Ahhhh, see this is normal. My blog is about going from the city to living on a ranch so I thought I should explore some farm and ranch blogs. I don’t think I fit in there. They don’t seem to drink or cuss and I have yet to see anyone who has ever pondered the meth diet with their kids. I am sorry I strayed, I feel so much more at home with the vampires.

    • Lynn
      November 7, 2011

      hahaha… perhaps they don’t deal with those “big city” issues like crystal meth and vampires! hahaha….welcome back

  12. mark @ yelling near you
    November 8, 2011

    That’s perfect. I hope that they start calling it the “Vampire Shift” instead of the too common “Graveyard Shift” even if you can’t find any vampires to work it.
    mark @ yelling near you recently posted..*Naked Model Sold SeparatelyMy Profile

    • Lynn
      November 8, 2011

      for some reason, my husband wasn’t as excited about the idea as i was. Yeah, i don’t get it either!

  13. Melanie
    November 14, 2011

    So I’m not the only person in the world who has completely nonsensical discussions with my significant other? I knew there was a reason I started reading this blog!

    Just the other day my boyfriend and I talked for a half hour about why it is an absolute necessity for me to have hot werewolves around to help me house clean. I convinced him they needed to be shirtless, ’cause you can scrub oven funk more easily if you aren’t wearing clothes.

    • Lynn
      November 14, 2011

      Agreed!!!! You’ve been watching True Blood haven’t you???

Follow Lynn on Facebook Follow Lynn on Twitter Follow Lynn via RSS Follow Lynn on Pinterest
Enter your Email

Recent articles


Follow Lynn on Facebook Follow Lynn on Twitter Follow Lynn via RSS Follow Lynn on Pinterest




Go to All Fooked Up Store 

Lynn MacDonald Art