This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
Greetings from Maine people. Hope all you guys are well. I’m borrowing my cousin’s computer to give you an update on all the stuff that I’ve learned in Maine. I’ll begin by telling you about my journey.
I flew in on Thursday evening, rented a car and started driving to the coast. It was foggy, very foggy. My cousin (Laurie…that’s her name, or I suppose you could call her Lauren, which is what she goes by but I still call her Laurie) had asked me if I needed directions and I, of course, told her that “no, of course not. I totally know how to get there. After all I have been coming up here for years.”
So I was driving and as I headed towards the coast it was getting foggier and foggier. I finally got to Route 131 and I was psyched because I was only about 20 minutes away. Now there are two ways to get to their house, which is on the St. Georges River right near the entrance to the Penobscot Bay. I only know the short cut. I mean, the other way is by going into Tenant’s Harbor, which I’ve been to but I never seem to be the one driving when we go there.
At any rate, I’m driving and waiting to see the turnoff for the short cut on the right and I’m driving and I don’t see it and I’m thinking “hmm…should be up here soon” but there’s no visibility and I haven’t been up here for two years and I don’t see it and all of a sudden I’m like “WTF” and “where did all these houses come from?” and “I really don’t recognize all this shit” and “fuck I think I’m lost” but of course, I have no signal on my phone because I’m in the middle of nowhere and I can’t call.
Fortunately, I had Hertz Neverlost so I thought, well surely the Nav system will work but then I couldn’t remember their address. I thought and I thought and then I remembered “hey, don’t they live off of Turkey Cove Road?” and I punched that into the Nav system and lo and behold it came up and I started heading that way.
Eventually, I got to Turkey Cove Road and I’m driving and I finally get to a landmark that looks familiar. Yeah, I’m in the right area but things are still really socked in. I can’t see shit and I realize that I don’t remember the name of the little dirt road to their house. Now what the hell was that name?
I’m driving in the fog and I suddenly (and unusually) remember the name. I start looking at the Nav system because I remember it’s somewhere to the right. It finally pops up on the Nav system map and I drive through the woods for a mile or so and voila, I’m at the house (or compound as it were).
I get out of the car and it’s completely socked in. My cousin comes up with a flashlight and rescues me and we make it down to the kitchen where my nephew (not really my nephew but I’m tight with my cousin so I kind of consider her kids like nieces and nephews) is setting the grill on fire. Actually he was cooking steaks but really, same difference.
So Laurie asked if I had any trouble and I tell her my tale and she says, “Lynn, I asked if you needed directions” and things like “you’re an idiot” all of which are true. The thing is I KNEW how to get here but it was dark and foggy and I got lost. However all ended well so yeah, no big deal. Then she mixed me this massive drink with vodka, fresh squeezed lemonade and mint and honestly, after that I was blitzed.
So, that was my first night. How was yours??