This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i stood up … and stayed up!

 

So, it’s Saturday morning and I’m at my computer figuring out what to say about my stand up comedy debut last night; it was frightening and amazing all at the same time.  As you know, or you would if had actually read my blog before, I basically insisted that the Crackers of Comedy allow me to do a five minute stand up routine during their stop in Greensboro.  Although I’m a person who has literally never been onstage before, I wanted to see if I could successfully stand up there for five minutes without passing out.  Trust me; I’ve had issues with this before.

 

I had been feeling pretty calm about the entire thing until about Thursday when people started asking me what exactly I was going to do up there.  That, of course, was the problem.  Seeing as I have ABSOLUTELY no memory, there was no way I could actually plan anything so I figured I would just wing it.  I did, however, figure that maybe I could just tell some of my countless stories.

 

After talking to Andie about some of the many conversations that we’ve had, she suggested I go with our “things you need to know in a post-apocalyptic world” list.  This was a great idea except I knew there was a good chance that I’d completely blank on this once I was onstage.  Instead, I decided that it would be easier to just tell some of my “go to” stories.

 

I was getting a bit nervous when on Friday; I talked to Matt (of Crackers of Comedy) and

he gave me some advice which basically sent me over the edge.  First, he told me to keep my stories “tight.”  TIGHT?  There’s no way I can keep my stories tight!  I’m a total rambler when it comes to telling stories.  He said that this is “the biggest mistake of first time comedians” so basically I was fucked, or fooked!  Whatever.  The second thing he said was to have a punch line, or joke as it were, every 30 seconds.  WTF?  There was absolutely no way I could say anything funny every 30 seconds; I was in a panic and things were looking grim.

 

After talking me off the edge, my friends told me to just go up there and be myself; tell my stories and not worry about it.  After all, I was told, it worked for Bill Cosby.  And so, I figured that the worse case scenario was that I would suck…or faint!

 

So, here’s what I learned about myself last night.  Although I could feel the nervousness creeping up on me, I did manage to relax and even begin to enjoy myself so I obviously have more control over my vagus nerve than I thought.  Also, I have absolutely NO desire to be a standup comedian.  I can see that those guys tell the stories over and over again until they are tight, with pauses in the right spots, punch lines…the works.  I’m already bored with myself.

 

I liked the improvising part of the stories and I could see myself in a group situation where we just talked randomly about certain subjects.  I think I could be myself and actually be funny in that environment but there’s way too much self discipline in stand up and I have NO DESIRE to go in that direction.

 

And so, without further ado, here is my routine I did the other night.  I’m sorry about the filming but none of us are professionals and it’s also pretty long.  I think I got better as it went on so basically, the last part is better than the first.   Watch it at your own risk and don’t be a hater!  Or do!  Whatever, it’s up to you.

 

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38 Comments

  1. AZ
    February 27, 2011

    Lynn–you were fabulous! I wish this was your next career.

    • Lynn
      February 27, 2011

      nah…once was enough for me Ann. I talked too fast and i was nervous…i could be a panelist though!

  2. Keely
    February 27, 2011

    I’ve seen “first-time” comedians before, and you were awesome! You didn’t seem nervous at all.

    I suppose you could “tighten it up” though ;)

    • Lynn
      February 27, 2011

      well, that was my first and my last time! I enjoyed it and i’m glad i did it but telling stories that i already know is boring. I like more impromptu type conversation so i will persevere in my becoming a professional talk show guest.

  3. Ed "Mr. Chap" Chapman
    February 27, 2011

    You were awesome! I wish I had the guts to get up there.

    • Lynn
      February 27, 2011

      Well, it did take me 51 years before I tried. I’m glad I did but it’s not something I’d want to do…but thanks!

  4. Kelly
    February 27, 2011

    LOVE IT!!! Tucker and the Turkey story was AWESOME!!

    • Lynn
      February 27, 2011

      Thanks girl! Even though lots of the audience knew that story it was one I was pretty comfortable with!

  5. Alexandra
    February 27, 2011

    I am beyond impressed. I think you are instantly likable, and very funny.

    I think you did better than I ever would have…and you pushed yourself.

    I LOVE THAT YOU PUSHED YOURSELF.

    You are now a different person, more confident, have become more interesting, have a tale to share, and can appreciate comedy from a very different point of view: experience.

    I’d say, this experience was worth a million dollars in personal growth cash.

    This was awesome, Lynn…so very, very awesome.

    Going to tweet it out now.

    I am so impressed..

    • Lynn
      February 27, 2011

      BEST COMMENT EVER…and thanks…but you auditioned for a big show…which is much tougher IMO

  6. Lori
    February 27, 2011

    Fantastic! I dream of this, and will probably never do it.

    You are brilliant!

    • Lynn
      February 27, 2011

      I wouldn’t have tried it six months ago…it’s this strange journey I’ve been on so NEVER SAY NEVER

  7. Theresa Sonoda
    February 27, 2011

    Lynn, you didn’t seem nervous or anything. You were so funny! I think you should take it on the road. serious. Way to go!!

    Terri

    • Lynn
      February 27, 2011

      Thanks…I got nervous but was able to tamp it down so that made me proud.

  8. tracy@sellabitmum
    February 27, 2011

    YOU ARE AWESOME!!! How could I love you even more? xoxo

    • Lynn
      February 27, 2011

      Thanks so much…it was fun and I’m so glad I tried it!

  9. Ken and Ellen
    February 27, 2011

    We are so proud of you – both of us! You make us laugh and sometimes cry. Keep it up – even though you don’t want to do stand-up again. It was funny. P.S. You look great.

    • Lynn
      February 27, 2011

      Thanks…I really appreciate it! I actually look the same but the camera angle made me look skinnier. I’m glad I tried it although I have no desire to go in that direction. Thanks for the kudos!

  10. Lady Estrogen
    February 27, 2011

    Fan-fuckin-tastic, sista!

    • Lynn
      February 27, 2011

      Thanks girl!!!

  11. Fragrant Liar
    February 27, 2011

    Great job! I so admire people who can get up in front of a crowd and try to be funny, even knowing they might suck and bomb out — which you didn’t! Congrats!

    • Lynn
      February 27, 2011

      Probably wouldn’t have done it six months ago…just happened out of the blue

  12. Pixi
    February 27, 2011

    Wow. I thought you were AWESOME!!
    You look awesome too!! Damn, I guess all that gym time really pays off.
    That was wonderful!

    • Lynn
      February 27, 2011

      Actually, that camera angle made me look skinnier than I am…so, not quite as fit as that

  13. Name *
    February 27, 2011

    Lovely Lynn!!!!! So impressed with you girl!

    • Lynn
      February 27, 2011

      Thanks…I appreciate it…I wouldn’t have done it six months ago so it’s so crazy

  14. Emma Jayne
    February 27, 2011

    Oh. My. God.
    I am so in awe of you! You were awesome and so cute and funny. You have the biggest woman-balls I have ever seen.
    The best part is…YOU LOOK FUCKIN HAWT! Glad you wore the fuck-me boots.

    • Lynn
      February 27, 2011

      Thanks! I appreciate it so, so much! It was terrifying yet fun and I’m glad I did it! Thanks for the compliment!

  15. Mommylebron
    February 27, 2011

    You are too adorable! You looked like a natural up there! I am not surprised that you were so likable and you OWNED that show! I almost fell off the bed laughing at Tucker and the turkey!
    Love you bunches!

    • Lynn
      February 27, 2011

      Thanks so much! I was nervous but I’m glad I did it although I was relieved when it was over. Love u too!

  16. Carla E. Knight
    February 28, 2011

    Terrific! You were funny and camera angle or not, you look great. I’m a pretty ballsy broad but I would never have had the nerve to do that. Of course, now I can’t even stand up, but that’s a different story. Sorry we couldn’t have been there to see it in person, but I don’t do so well in crowds any more.

    • Lynn
      February 28, 2011

      Thanks so much. It was fun and I’m glad I did it but I really don’t feel the need to do it again

  17. Angel
    February 28, 2011

    This is your new job girl!!! You owned that stage, well done.

    • Lynn
      February 28, 2011

      Hahaha…thanks! But I’m not really looking for a job but I did want to see if i could do it!

  18. Amanda
    February 28, 2011

    You did great! Way better than I could have done. I have total stranger danger anxiety.

    • Lynn
      February 28, 2011

      Hahaha…stranger danger anxiety. Well, i knew a LOT of the people there so that wasn’t the issue…I was just nervous but it was all good

  19. FranceRants
    February 28, 2011

    oh..this is Well??? How’d I miss it? This is what happens when I have too many choices on a blog site.

    I have to say, I’m impressed. I’ve been on stage speaking for work in front of of hundreds, thousands, and it can be daunting!!

    You came across relaxed and likable.

    Maybe you have the Vegas Nerve instead……..

    • Lynn
      February 28, 2011

      What do you do that you speak in front of so many people? And thanks

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