This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
Anybody who reads this blog regularly and surely there must be one or two, knows that I don’t do laundry. If you don’t know, read this! It’s not that I can’t do laundry, it’s just that I’m forbidden to do laundry and truly, I don’t mind.
So when Daniel told me that his “button downs” were all wrinkled and he thought I would need to teach him how to iron I found that amusing. Yesterday, I had to bring some stuff down to Duke for Andie’s first Medical School Interview so I purchased a small iron and ironing board and made plans to meet Daniel in his dorm room.
I walked into his room and it was as blank a canvas as the day that I left three weeks ago. I asked him if he was going to decorate and he informed me that he had indeed purchased two posters but that he had no “double-sided” tape. Well, I then informed him that he DID have some double-sided tape as I had put some in his desk three weeks ago.
Oh really? YES DANIEL, REALLY. So then we hung the posters and all of a sudden the room looked like a decorated jail cell instead of a plain jail cell.
So back to the ironing. We opened the small travel iron that I had purchased and I explained to Daniel where to put the water in (for steam) and to NEVER let it just rest on his desk and he went to do that small task. I then moved all the shit out of the way on the desk and put down the small ironing board I had brought him.
Here’s how it went:
Me: so, you put the ironing board down like this see?
Me: and then you do these panels by pulling them tight over the corners see?
Daniel: yep. But what about the sleeves?
Me: we’ll get to that?
Daniel: but what about the collar?
Me: we’ll get to that
Daniel: I already learned one important thing about laundry
Me: and what’s that?
Daniel: you should unroll your sleeves before you wash and dry them or else they look like this
(And then he help up this beautiful button down and the sleeve looked mangled because he had dried it while it was all rolled up)
Me: well, that certainly needs ironing
Me: here’s another trick
Me: remove the shirts from the drier before they’re all the way dry and they won’t be as wrinkled
Daniel: really? How do you know that?
Me: Carol reminded me to tell you that
(and then we cracked up because truly, I don’t iron)
So we continued the lesson and I taught him the basics of ironing and we ironed about 6 shirts and then his roommate Kevin walked in to see Daniel ironing a shirt.
Me: hey Kevin, do you know how to iron?
Me: I’m sure Daniel will teach you
And so the lesson was complete and I returned home. Later as I was telling Kevin (my Kevin…the one I’m married to) about the lesson he said to me:
Kevin: so let me get this straight
Kevin: YOU taught Daniel how to iron
Me: I can iron
Kevin: you never iron
Me: that’s because you won’t let me do laundry
Kevin: that’s because you suck at laundry
Me: perhaps I’m just out of practice
Kevin: no, its because you do a crap job and don’t give a damn
Me: I taught Daniel to take out his shirts early
Kevin: I can’t even believe you actually knew that
Me: oh, Carol reminded me to tell him
Kevin: I’m not even surprised
So there you are folks. Lynn MacDonald teaching laundry skills to freshman now available on YouTube. (just kidding)