This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i tested them

Beer

Last night I had a party at my house.  It wasn’t a “fun” party; it was a “work” party.  Now before you start telling me that I DON’T WORK I should let you know that I’M WELL AWARE OF THAT.  However, my husband does and we are owners of a company along with my brothers.

 

Every year there is a National Sales Meeting down here in Greensboro, North Carolina and as you can imagine, one of the highlights is my annual party that I have for all the sales reps and marketing staff at Endura (that’s the name of the company).  After spending the day in workshops, I usually provide good food and drink and the weather is normally cooperative because it’s the end of September, which is a lovely time of year.

 

Last year, during the National Sales Meeting, I announced to the 40 some odd sales reps that I had a blog called “All Fooked Up” and I expected them to read it religiously.  If not, I told them; their job would be on the line.  I wrote a post about it here.

 

The other day, Kevin told me that some of the guys were nervous because they hadn’t been reading my blog.  I thought that was hilarious since I’ve long since passed the “harassment” stage of blogging and I’m now on to the “whatever” stage of blogging.  Sure I’d love people to read it and I hand out my card but it’s really no biggie whether they do or not.  Many of my GOOD friends don’t read the blog and it’s weird that people who don’t know me that well know more about what’s going on in my life then many of the people I’m close to.

 

At any rate, Kevin said they were nervous about seeing me; I thought that was hilarious so I decided that I would make them take a test when they got to my house.  This test is loosely based on my Best Friend Application that Keely once made for me but I did require that it be filled out and turned in.  Group efforts were allowed.  So, without further ado, here is Lynn MacDonald’s Super Duper Test.

 

Lynn MacDonald’s Super Duper Test

 1.    Are you aware that this is a test?

2.    Are you aware you will be graded?

3.    Are you aware that YOUR JOB is on the line?

4.    What is Lynn’s first name?

5.    How many kids does Lynn have?

6.    Does she like them? THIS IS NOT A TRICK QUESTION?

7.    OR IS IT?

8.    What city did Lynn and Kevin meet in?

9.    What is the name of Lynn’s blog?

10. Have you read her blog?

11. Which of the following did she write a post about?

a.     Bears

b.    Moose(s)

c.     Porcupines

d.    Elephants

 12. Did Lynn and Kevin meet in:

a.     In a church

b.    In a bar

c.     In a class

d.    In a prison

13.  Where do Lynn’s daughters go to school?

14. Does Lynn curse in her blog?

15. What is your name?

16. What is your quest?

17. Have you ever seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail?

18. If you answered no deduct 17 points

19. Who is the funniest person you have met?

20. Don’t fuck number 19 up

21. How many times a week does Lynn post her blog?

22. Who is the most important person affiliated with Endura Products to suck up to?

23. Did you answer LYNN? If not, deduct 17 points.

24. What does the earth revolve around (HINT: NOT THE SUN)

25. What sports teams do The MacDonalds root for?

a.     The Yankees

b.    The Mets

c.     The Red Sox

d.    The Red Hot Chili Peppers

e.     The Baltimore Ravens

f.      The New England Patriots

g.     The Los Angeles Clippers

h.    The Duke Blue Devils

i.      The Carolina Tarheels

j.      A and C

k.    B and F

l.      J and E

m.  C and E

n.    None of the above

o.    Two of the above

p.    All of the above

q.    C, F and H

r.     Any combination of salt and pepper

s.     Random letters and numbers

t.      I’m confused now 

26. Are you easily shocked?

27. Has Lynn ever made brownies?

28. How many times has she blogged about Brownies?

29. Have you ever smoked pot?

30. You know that’s illegal, right?

31. Just checking?

32. How’s the party?

33. Isn’t Lynn a great hostess?

34. How are you doing on the quiz?

35. How often do you read Lynn’s blog?

36. You haven’t actually read it have you?

37. You’re fired.

38. I’m just kidding…this isn’t The Apprentice

39. Do you like my paintings?

40. What do you mean “what paintings?”

41. The ones on the fucking wall of course!

42. If I were a sports figure, what would my nickname be?

43. Think carefully…don’t fuck up!

44. What’s your total score?

45. How did you enjoy the quiz?

46. Don’t piss me off!

47. Did you have enough to drink?

48. I know you love me … don’t you?

49. What’s your name?  No really, put it here:

 

      ___________________________________________________

 

 

I think everyone enjoyed filling it out but who knows.  I really don’t care anyways.  I just love giving these guys who I BARELY know and see ONCE A YEAR copious amounts of shit.  So what cha think?  Would you pass the test?

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24 Comments

  1. Theresa
    October 5, 2011

    LoL too funny!

    • Lynn
      October 5, 2011

      yeah…it livened the party up

  2. Katja Brown
    October 5, 2011

    Several thoughts go through my head:

    1. Good job on the survey. I would be curious about the answers to questions 8, 11 and 12.
    2. You put all this effort in the survey, why didn’t you go all the way to question #50?
    3. Hope you had enough booze at the party, otherwise it might have been a little awkward filling out this LONG survey!
    4. Did you actually collect all the surveys and in turn humiliate the sales reps that answered “no” to question 10?

    • Lynn
      October 5, 2011

      Here’s the answers. Kevin said a LOT of the sales guys knew we met in New York City at a bar.
      Not too many people got the porcupines one correct.
      I did collect the surveys.

      I actually let them do them in groups and i was with some of the groups while they answered them.

      I always humiliate those guys. It was a fun icebreaker.

  3. Melissa
    October 5, 2011

    I’m pretty sure I passed, but what is a passing grade for this quiz?

    • Lynn
      October 5, 2011

      You pass just for being you!!! I couldn’t flunk them because I really don’t have the ability to fire them, you know? It was fun watching them panic though!!!

  4. Lady Estrogen
    October 5, 2011

    That’s the best exam I’d ever want to take!
    I especially love the questions that aren’t questions whatsoever. LOVE.
    Lady Estrogen recently posted..Dance, Dance, DanceMy Profile

    • Lynn
      October 5, 2011

      hmmm…then you would have loved my “Best Friend Application”

  5. Lipstick and Playdates
    October 5, 2011

    These are great! Can’t stop laughing! Two more questions you might want to add::

    After taking this exam, do you feel compelled to update your resume and launch an aggressive job search?

    or

    After answering truthfully to some of the questions, do you think you need to enter the Witness Protection Program and ask for government protection?

    • Lynn
      October 5, 2011

      hahaha…i didn’t fire anyone :(

  6. By Word of Mouth Musings
    October 5, 2011

    I don’t even know all these answers! LOL

    • Lynn
      October 5, 2011

      which ones don’t you know…i guess we need to talk more

  7. julie
    October 5, 2011

    I am seriously considering ‘tweeking’ this a bit (I don’t have a blog”) to use at annual evaluation time for my employee’s. In fact, I may just piss my day away doing just that ~ and cracking myself up. Thanks for the inspiration!!

    • Lynn
      October 5, 2011

      feel free to use it….

  8. mark @ yelling near you
    October 5, 2011

    Excellent test, and if I did pass it would be narrowly. Your statement rings so true about people who don’t know you but read your blog know more about what’s going on in your life than some of your closest friends.

    • Lynn
      October 5, 2011

      yeah…certainly on the day to day stuff…some stuff i don’t actually talk about on my blog though

  9. Pamela D Hart
    October 5, 2011

    ROFLOL! That’s hilarious! Did any of them actually fill out the test? What a FUN hostess you are!

    P.S. I sent you an email for fun. Hope it makes you laugh. I was bored.
    Pamela D Hart recently posted..Ten In Ten To Help A TeenMy Profile

    • Lynn
      October 5, 2011

      hahaha…why don’t you submit a post for “go ahead, amuse me”?

      • Pamela D Hart
        October 5, 2011

        I saw that, you’d think I would’ve used it. Don’t hold that against me on my BF app! ha ha!

  10. Rosa
    October 5, 2011

    Since this is my first time ever visiting your blog (I found you via The Bloggess), I’m sure I failed the test miserably. I still enjoyed it however. I hope I’m not fired.

    • Lynn
      October 5, 2011

      nah…i never fire readers. Just the sales guys who didn’t do their homework. actually, i never fired them either. Fuck em if they don’t read my blog!!! ya know?

  11. loudlyshy
    October 5, 2011

    Holy cow, 49 questions? You’re a cruel taskmaster. I friggin’ love it. I hope they all get super freaked out about it.
    loudlyshy recently posted..The Time I Terrified Wil WheatonMy Profile

    • Lynn
      October 5, 2011

      Well, they weren’t thrilled but I let them work together…plus I gave them hints

  12. Paula @ thewilyweez
    October 6, 2011

    I think you could have a future developing panic inducing surveys!
    Paula @ thewilyweez recently posted..All Of My Childhood Fuckery Finally Came In HandyMy Profile

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