This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i was gullible

 

I’m a pretty cynical person and yet, I’m also somewhat naïve.  It’s a curious mixture because even though I usually approach situations with skepticism, I also assume when somebody tells me something that they’re telling me the truth.  I suppose that’s because I don’t believe in lying.  I don’t lie.

 

Out at BlogHer however, I found myself wondering about something someone had said to me.  Here’s what happened:

 

I went up to a very well known blogger (I won’t mention a name here) and introduced myself.  I wanted to thank her because when I had JUST started blogging and tweeting, I sent her a Tweet asking for some help and she gave me some advice.

 

Now that I’m an old-pro at all this, I realize that it was somewhat inappropriate to just do that and yet, despite the fact that she must get a million mentions and DM’s, she took the time to respond to me.  At any rate, I explained who I was and that she was far nicer than she needed to be and that I had been impressed (certainly in retrospect) that she took the time to respond so kindly to me.

 

She said that she knew who I was, that it was no problem, that she READ my blog even though she never commented on it and that she followed my Twitter stream via several of her lists.

 

Was I excited?  Yup! Shocked actually.  I couldn’t believe that she not only knew who I was but read my blog and followed my tweets.  I mean she follows thousands of people so I usually assume under those circumstances that my tweets are never seen.   So that was an awesome way to start the conference and it literally sent me over the moon.

 

Today, however, I was sitting at my computer and I decided to check out the lists that follow me.  There aren’t really that many so it’s not really a chore.   And guess what?  You guessed it … nowhere on the 116 lists that follow me is her Avatar.  Now I suppose it’s possible that she follows somebody else’s list that follows me but I can assure you that there is no list belonging to her that is following me.

 

Am I disappointed?  Only in myself for being so gullible.  It’s entirely possible that she told EVERYONE she met that she “reads” their blog and doesn’t comment and “follows” them on Twitter.  If so, she’s better than I am at keeping a straight face and yet, why bother?  I mean, if you’re a big blogger you couldn’t possible keep up with everyone so why pretend?  I would rather the person say “I’m sorry but I don’t know you” or “honestly, I don’t read your blog!”

 

That’s what I do at least.  I meet people who read my blog and yet I don’t read theirs.  It has nothing to do with whether they’re a “good writer” or a “good person”; it might be as simple as they talk about their kids and I’m past that phase.  For whatever reason, I mostly just read humor blogs.  There are some blogs that I read when a new post comes out, some blogs I read sporadically when I see something interesting and some blogs I rarely read.

 

Does it have to do anything with my personal feelings about the blogger?  Not always.  When I see something that piques my interest, I read it.  If not, I don’t.  Simple as that.  However, if you were to ask me whether I read your post or not, I certainly wouldn’t lie no matter how uncomfortable it is to admit that I don’t.

 

So what’s my point?  It’s all about personal integrity and honesty.  Just like I don’t think you should print something online that you wouldn’t be willing to say to someone’s face, I also don’t think you should feed someone bullshit.

 

Just own up to your own behaviors.  After all, read my blog, don’t read it.  Whatever it doesn’t matter.  Just don’t fucking lie to me because that ACTUALLY pisses me off.

 

I’m just saying …

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40 Comments

  1. Eric is Fargo234
    August 25, 2011

    Wow. Not a good experience at all. By the way… I’ve got this great MLM opportunity I’d like to introduce you to! It’s only $100 and guarantees people are going to want to buy toilet paper from YOU!

    • Lynn
      August 25, 2011

      Hahaha…thanks a LOT!!!

  2. Periwinkle Papillon
    August 25, 2011

    Am wondering if maybe she had you list under a “Private” list? I’m not 100% sure but I think the members of people’s private lists are not shared. My guess is you are on one of her private lists. I will hope?

    • Lynn
      August 25, 2011

      well, then i look like an idiot don’t I? Hmmmm…despite the fact that i have private lists myself, that never occurred to me. Thanks…I’ll never know but I’ll certainly be more circumspect. although probably not knowing me..

      good point

    • liz
      August 25, 2011

      This is what I was going to say. Not that your hypothesis about this being her standard-issue response has to be wrong, but I can see why some might keep lists private.

      It helps keep the drama to a minimum.

      • Lynn
        August 25, 2011

        True. I can see that…it was and is an excellent point

  3. By Word of Mouth Musings
    August 25, 2011

    My blog is broken and i am available to whine about it ALL day!
    You are on ‘My Bestest Friends’ list – you don’t need to be on any others ;)

    • Lynn
      August 25, 2011

      Do You really have a list called that? Hahaha…ok, I feel better now. Especially since it was pointed out that it could have been a private list.

  4. Cindy Chapman
    August 25, 2011

    Touche

    • Lynn
      August 25, 2011

      thanks…just keeping it real

  5. angela
    August 25, 2011

    Well, if you ARE on a private list, I think this post is a little no-harm, no-foul, because you didn’t mention the blogger by name.

    Even if that particular person was being completely honest with you, there ARE inauthentic people out there, and I think your post just provides the opportunity to think about how we interact with people and try to make sure that we are honest when meeting people.

    Or at least to set up a twitter list with a bunch of people called “Super Interesting People” that we never ever open, just so this doesn’t happen to us. (Kidding, I don’t have nearly that kind of following!)
    angela recently posted..Five Fall FavoritesMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 25, 2011

      hahaha…yeah, i never thought of the PRIVATE list…i wouldn’t name her by name because i wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt but i suspect she isn’t following me…

  6. Paula
    August 25, 2011

    That sucks! I love your blog! :)
    Paula recently posted..A Love Letter To An Island: Ocracoke I Love Your Sweet AssMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 25, 2011

      thank you…well, i shouldn’t have even cared. oh well, lesson learned

  7. Jaci
    August 25, 2011

    Maybe you’re on her private list labeled “People To Watch/Possible Stalkers”?

    That would be kind of awesome, actually.

    (I totally need to start a list like that, and just add random celebrities to it. It would be SUCH an ego boost.)
    Jaci recently posted..Join the Dark Side: Become a Clearance WhoreMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 25, 2011

      possible stalkers…i don’t stalk them though. It would be fun to be on a list like that though

  8. Mara (@Chickymara)
    August 25, 2011

    So, I think that what we’ve got here is a case of reverse sycophancy. This ‘fancy’ ‘celeb’ blogger has the mistaken idea that her following your blog and Twitter is what makes your life complete. Honesty is definitely the best policy, particularly when it can be verified. For example, on twitter for iPhones, in her profile it says, right under the ‘follow’ box: ‘xxxx is not following you’. Maybe you should send this woman the book Twitter for Dummies so she can bone up on it’s intricacies.

    • Lynn
      August 25, 2011

      WELL, i think the best policy is to ignore it and stop caring…however, does such a book exist? too funny

  9. Carri
    August 25, 2011

    That is so disappointing. I’ve heard a similar story from others and I wonder if you’re all talking about the same blogger. You’re a bigger person than I… I would be calling her out and making myself look like a complete ass.

    • Lynn
      August 25, 2011

      now i’m curious…would love to know who the other people are referring to

    • liz
      August 25, 2011

      Yes, I want to know, too! DM me Carri!

      • Lynn
        August 25, 2011

        Not sure she knows…no DM yet

  10. Jayme (RandomBlogette)
    August 25, 2011

    I used to care who read and whatever but I don’t anymore. It is sad that they just didn’t tell you the truth. But, I do love your blog and I don’t care if you don’t read mine. It’s cool. I still will read yours. ;)
    Jayme (RandomBlogette) recently posted..May Contain AwesomeMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 25, 2011

      i read other blogs occasionally…just not good at being regular

  11. Jackie
    August 25, 2011

    I’ll be totally honest… I follow you on Twitter and I read your blog even though I don’t always comment. I may have you on a list but I suck at keeping those things up!

    I agree… what she did was wrong.
    Jackie recently posted..Be Enough Me – Working, Kids, & GuiltMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 25, 2011

      thanks you…i appreciate it

  12. Lex
    August 25, 2011

    She also might have honestly confused you with someone else. I’ve done that. Makes me look like a jerk, granted, but it’s not intentional.

    But I bet the private-list explanation is actually correct.

    • Lynn
      August 25, 2011

      well, i feel likes its difficult to confuse me with anybody

      • liz
        August 25, 2011

        There’s only one Lynn.

        • Lynn
          August 25, 2011

          Thank god

      • Lex
        August 26, 2011

        which is why I incline toward the private-list hypothesis. ;-)

        • Lynn
          August 26, 2011

          So, then nobody knows you didn’t do your stuff right?

  13. Kristin
    August 25, 2011

    I’m only on 16 lists and they confuse me anyway, so I don’t pay any attention to them and can offer no help here whatsoever. But if she actually did lie to you, then that’s not cool. Then again, if I were in your shoes, I’d give it a passing “WTF?” and then let it go. Mainly because I live under the impression that no one reads my blog other than my parents, a few friends, and my faithful regulars who comment on every post, so why would I ever believe a well-known blogger would read it – even if she said she did? (I figure if I set the bar low, then there’s more room to be pleasantly surprised. I’m sort of an underachiever.)

    Besides, I’m well aware that there are some really fake women in the blogosphere – I see them in my own blogging circles and can smell their BS straight through my computer. That may sound cynical, but for me it helps keep things in perspective.

    I know you don’t read my blog – I have a toddler and mainly post about her and the mistrials of parenthood, so why would you? I don’t even think we’ve ever chatted on Twitter. But I still enjoy reading your blog. I don’t subscribe to it or even follow it on a regular basis, but you often pop up in my Twitter stream and I like your frank attitude. So… I read. Blogging shouldn’t be the tit-for-tat game that some people make it out to be.
    Kristin recently posted..You’re Never Too Young for ProductMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 25, 2011

      What’s your twitter name…I’m on Twitter when I’m in the mood. It depends on whether I’m bored or not. Usually if somebody talks to me I answer back so chat and I’ll chat back. Yeah, I don’t read too many kid blogs cuz my baby is 18 but thanks for reading and the comment

      • Kristin
        August 25, 2011

        Twitter: @SaidKristin

        I have a love/hate relationship with Twitter and can only take it in small doses. I’ll talk to you, as long as I have something to say. I hate tweeting at someone for the hell of it just to get their attention – I feel like an attention whore. But I have no problem butting into a conversation that interests me. ;)
        Kristin recently posted..You’re Never Too Young for ProductMy Profile

        • Lynn
          August 25, 2011

          Ok, I’m going to check you out. of course, i suck pretty much but holler at me if you want.

  14. ChiMomWriter
    August 25, 2011

    I may print out a copy of the fish & hook picture for my purse so when dealing with people I can ever so stealthily pull it out and ask myself if they’re a jagbag or not (or if I am for listening to them).

    • Lynn
      August 26, 2011

      isn’t that a cute picture? just found it…i love looking for the pics to go with my posts

  15. Sweaty
    August 26, 2011

    Regardless of whether or not that person really followed or didn’t follow you, I agree with you about maintaining personal integrity, which in my book, includes honesty. This goes for just about everyone, I think. Not just that well-known blogger. Because big or small, I’ve come across some bloggers who acted as if they ‘read’ my posts, but I know deep down that they actually didn’t. That’s more annoying that having somebody admitted they don’t read your blog (yes, I’m sensitive and narcissistic, so I want as many people as possible to read and like my blog). Which sucked big tiime, but hey, it’s not like you can force them if they didn’t want to.

    My point? Just don’t lie. Honesty is really the best policy. Esp in blogging.

    • Lynn
      August 26, 2011

      tots agree…just tell the truth. For better or worse, you never get caught.

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