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In which i went to Blissdom and all i got was this lousy … combine

 I woke up today excited because this was the day I went to BlissDom.  In preparation, I hadn’t spoken to another soul for a week so that I would have my entire personality available to use for networking purposes.  Unfortunately, I drove over to Raleigh with two other women so using my immense people skills was mandatory.  By the time we got to Nashville, I was incredibly hyper and felt a huge crash coming on.  That only meant one thing:  lunch was essential.
 
Upon arriving at the Gaylord, we spent approximately 2 million dollars to park the car and we checked in.  Our rooms were about a quarter mile away so we sent our luggage off and went in search of sustenance.  I found mine in some fancy chicken meal that turned out to be chicken salad on pita.  After hocking my first born to pay for it, I proceeded to stuff the meal in rapidly and then immediately felt sick.  After lunch, my friend and I went to the room to unpack with plans to meet in an hour and go find the fitness center.
 
One hour later, I was standing in the hall waiting for Marta.  We MapQuest’ed the route and began the long walk to the fitness center.  I was terribly excited to begin networking, a skill I have been working on for over 64.932 hours during the past week.  After getting lost twice, we were directed to the fitness center and while Marta ran on the treadmill, I plotted out the next step on the recumbent bike.  Peering around the room, it seemed somewhat empty for such a massive hotel but I was undeterred in my quest to network.  After 40 some odd minutes on the bike, I noticed a lady to the far left of me on the elliptical.  Upon closer observation, I was convinced she was a blogger.  Using the age old excuse of “I need to refill my water bottle,” I used the opportunity to switch machines and I climbed on the elliptical next to her. 
 
Now, being all up on proper gym etiquette, I quickly asked her if she “liked to talk while working out or did she prefer silence?”  She said she was breathless but she could talk.  I quickly decided that I would need all my charm and began interrogating the poor woman.  She was from Wisconsin and was here for a – gasp – farming equipment conference.  WTF? A farming equipment conference?

  “You mean, you’re not here for BlissDom?” I asked. 


“No, this company was a very large manufacturer of farm equipment.”
 “Like John Deere” I asked?
“Oh we’re much, much better than John Deere” she replied.
As I mentally kissed my lawn mower good bye, she explained that indeed, all that equipment was actually on display RIGHT NOW IN THE convention center.  Things like tractors … and combines.
 
So, wait a minute.  I came here to BlissDom and all I got was this lousy combine?  I was clearly wasting all this charm on the wrong damn woman.  Fortunately, before I could accidentally and impulsively buy a combine, she left and my workout partner suggested we get down to business and have a drink.
 
“Is it too early to have a drink?” she asked.
“Not if we stay on Eastern Time, “ I responded.

 
So we set off, like on Poohs Grand Adventure, in search of a bar.  After much looking, we were finally directed to a bar…full of men.  OF MEN?  What the hell are all these men doing here at a women’s blogging conference?  Seriously?  SERIOUSLY?  What about my NETWORKING?  What about my goal to woo the blogging world?  Well, it seems that they’re all here for this gigantic farm equipment show. 
 
So we had a few drinks and I made Marta promise to NOT let me buy a combine, no matter how badly I thought I wanted one.  I mean, I could just see my husband telling the guys at work “yeah, Lynn went to BlissDom and all I got was this lousy combine.”  So yeah, I didn’t want that to happen.
 
After a few drinks, which I tweeted out to make people jealous, I quickly showered and then met my cousin for dinner.  I don’t count her as “networking” because I’ve known her forever.  Unfortunately, I wasted most of my charm on her because after dinner, I did meet a bunch of women who were in the “design” niche and they seemed incredibly immune to my charm.   It’s true, I totally fell flat and that NEVER happens.
 
Now I’m back in my room on this loaner laptop typing this post out.  And thus endeth my first day at BlissDom.   Tomorrow is another day and I still stand firm in my goal to conquer BlissDom, or in the worst case scenario…buy a combine.

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28 Comments

  1. myevil3yearold
    January 27, 2011

    Welcome to my town! I’m just happy the hotel is open. That part of Nashville has been thru a lot this past year. Opry Mills is never going to open back up I’m afraid. I wish I was at the conference! Have fun.

    • Lynn
      January 27, 2011

      Thanks…yeah I heard about all the damage. Wish you were here!

  2. Ella
    January 27, 2011

    At least it hasn’t been a dull experience! Sounds like there is an adventure waiting around every corner.. I’m kind of jealous.

    • Lynn
      January 27, 2011

      Hahaha…it’s a lot of work!

  3. Brandi C
    January 27, 2011

    Bwahaaa! Ok, so I’m now officially not jealous. Mostly because I now realize that I’d probably just have spent the entirety of my conference time there with the farm equipment boys doing shots anyway; just to avoid the fear of facing my “comparison issues” with the other bloggers.
    Anyhoo…have fun! Don’t worry about kicking ass and taking names…just take pictures and take names; you can always blackmail these bitches later. ;-)
    I’m just saying.

    • Lynn
      January 27, 2011

      Hahaha…you crack me up. I have finally met some people but idk what will come from it. I’m having fun though.

  4. Mad Woman behind the Blog
    January 27, 2011

    HEEE! Sorry for your lack of schmoozing opportunities. I was envisioning you wandering lost in the Gaylord…was at the same resort outside Dallas at Christmas and yes, my head was spinning.
    Looking forward to more posts!

    • Lynn
      January 27, 2011

      Man…it’s a lot of work being here. Schmoozing, boozing, being nice…and learning all sorts of shit. It’s killing me. I gotta go home to rest up!

  5. Trish P
    January 28, 2011

    Just wanted to tell you thanks for breaking the ice at lunch for me and the other women wandering around by themselves pretending they were reading emails on their Iphones. :-) You were a highlight of the conference and your blog cracks me up.

    • Lynn
      January 29, 2011

      Thank you so much…I’m all about bringing people together and I loved meeting you too!! I had a blast…even though I totally ran out of energy by the end

  6. Holly Hamann
    January 29, 2011

    SO glad to meet you in Nashville! I’ll trade you four bags of Bliss Chocolate for a combine. No? Party pooper.

    • Lynn
      January 29, 2011

      It was awesome meeting you as well but, after I met you I never had any more conversations in the gym therefore, I NEVER purchased a combine. I’ll still take the chocolate. I’ve already eaten two bags full. Thanks for checking out this post! Wait until you read Tuesdays post! Gonna be awesome.

      • Crayon Wrangler
        January 30, 2011

        Now that I am not sitting at a red light…I can finally reply. BTW, I will take the chocolate too!

        I totally got a crush on you from Blissdom. I knew you were funny and real from your blog, but it did little to prepare me for the awesomeness that is YOU! I loved what you said in the integrity class and you gave me so much inspiration to walk away with.

        • Lynn
          January 30, 2011

          That might actually be one of the nicest things anybody said to me…EVER. First, i loved meeting you too. Second, i think some of what i am has come with age. If you’re the least bit different, it takes a while to become comfortable in your own skin. You are WELL on your way. I absolutely adored how you were just intrinsically YOU…stay that way. We will definitely stay in touch and i loved that integrity forum. They were preaching to the choir with me…it took all my self control (which is actually almost non-existant) to not run up there and hijack the entire panel. HAHAHA…that would have been something. lots of love!!

  7. Law Momma
    January 30, 2011

    You are hilarious. And the fact that you hail from my hometown just makes it that much better. So glad I met you and got introduced to your blog.

    Your charm totally worked on me!

    • Lynn
      January 30, 2011

      Thanks…that’s pretty funny even though you went to Page and I went to Grimsley! It was great meeting you at BlissDom. I had a great time there…and even learned a few things to boot.

  8. The Stiletto Mom
    January 30, 2011

    You are hilarious!!! I’m so glad I met you. You will be featured in my blog on Wednesday or so….the m&m story is still making me laugh!

    • Lynn
      January 30, 2011

      Thanks…it was so funny. It’s amazing how people taunt you at BlissDom…I can’t wait to read it!

  9. Emma Jayne
    January 30, 2011

    I can’t wait to hear about all your hijinks, girl! I bet you rocked the house and taught those women a thing or two about being fab-u-lous.

    • Lynn
      January 30, 2011

      I did have fun…in was a terror too though. Stories on Tuesday so stay tuned

  10. Kristi
    February 1, 2011

    I was one of those women in the design niche- I was too darn tired (drove 22+ hours straight from Maine that day with no nap) to have any sort of charm and/or be receptive to charm LOL I think I fell flat that night too. But I remembered you enough to come check out your blog! So something you did worked right? :) Have a great day!

    • Lynn
      February 1, 2011

      Right…Bangor with your husband in the military and the baby while the other one was home with grandma. I remember, and that in itself is a miracle. Thanks for checking me out! Hahaha…I wasn’t dissing you guys, just myself!

      • Kristi
        February 1, 2011

        Didn’t think you were dissing us- just wanted to let you know I was not receptive to anyone’s ‘charms’ that night LOL and wow! You did remember (I always find it remarkable when people remember me or details lol)!
        Thanks for your comment on my Blissdom re-cap post!

        • Lynn
          February 1, 2011

          you know…i don’t always remember much but i go to Maine every summer so i was interested in your story. I remember a little about that whole crowd. I can see why you were exhausted, that’s a long drive!

  11. Lisaontheloose
    February 3, 2011

    I don’t think I got to talk to you much (if at all at) Blissdom. Bummed! And those were New Holland combines! (The blue ones!) I found out later. Did you stay after the Thurs night event finished at Fuse? The Ag men invaded the place and several got sort of grabby with pretty much any women who was left on the dance floor. Gesh! (Except for a guy I talked to quite a bit who was a total gentleman.)

    • Lynn
      February 3, 2011

      There were a lot of people there so I talked to many people who I don’t know their names. I didn’t go to that party. I was exhausted but I heard about it. I’ll definitely submit something soon.

  12. Name *
    February 4, 2011

    Lynn, I want more on Blissdom.

    Because I know you’ll give us the realdeal.

    Were you able to meet my friend Ann Imig?? She’s wonderful.

    • Lynn
      February 4, 2011

      i just sent you an email to read…you just inspired me…i did meet Ann, she was awesome and i loved her!

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