This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i write to StumbleUpon

 

Dear StumbleUpon:

 

I don’t get you.  I really don’t.  You tell me that I should use su.pr as a link shortener so I do.  Every time I post I go to su.pr to shorten my link and then you know what?  You say “hey Lynn, do you want to submit this to StumbleUpon?” and so I do.  But you know what? YOU KNOW WHAT?

I’ve recently found out that THIS is a bad thing to do.   Apparently you’re not supposed to always submit your own posts to StumbleUpon.  What?  You string me along and ask me to submit them and then I find out I’m not supposed to be submitting my posts.  Well, what the hell am I supposed to be doing?

Turns out that I’m supposed to be roaming the web submitting OTHER people’s posts.  OH, well why didn’t you say so instead of dangling a stupid carrot in front of me?  So, I’m SUPPOSED to be letting other people discover me while I discover them.  I see now.

Of course, it’s too late.  You see I’ve stumbled my OWN posts so often now that nothing is happening to them.  They’re just sitting there sulking with their little su.pr shorteners going “why isn’t anybody reading me?”

Someone who understood how it worked finally explained it to me the other day and I realized all the mistakes I’ve been making on StumbleUpon.  Apparently your algorithm, ALGORITHM, takes into account how many people like you and who they are and where they’re from and what time they wake up and what their favorite color is and do they like vanilla or chocolate or Pistachio ice cream or whatever the fuck your algorithm takes into account and what it most certainly HATES is people constantly stumbling their own posts.

So now I’m, in a word, FUCKED!  I mean, not so much as that my own life is ruined (I don’t need StumbleUpon for that; I have kids) but after weeks of beautiful and amazing stats I’m back down in the dregs of numbers.  Normally this wouldn’t affect my life but I’m actually in a bad mood and use those numbers to artificially make myself feel better.

Now I will have to find an even shallower pastime and trust me, that’s no small task!  Am I supposed to use an ACTUAL accomplishment to feel better? Because that’s not going to work.  I rarely accomplish anything and I’m sure as hell not going to start now.

At any rate, I felt it was important that you know that you ruined my day … and perhaps my blog … and very frankly, my love of algorithms.

Sincerely,

 

Lynn MacDonald aka All Fooked Up

 

P.S.  Could you use some of your pull to sort out this sad situation?  After all, I was a math major and AT LEAST I know what an algorithm is.

 

 

 

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30 Comments

  1. Steve Bailey
    August 30, 2011

    I will stumble you……

    • Lynn
      August 30, 2011

      hey thank you… but, i’m pretty sure i’m being punished by their algorithm so it probably won’t make a difference :(

  2. Katja Brown
    August 30, 2011

    This is the reason why my blog is never going to be wide-read. I only write about things that I find interesting, not worrying about any statistics or other “tricks of the trade” to get more attention from other readers. I guess I am a hopeless case …

    I do have to admit that I enjoy reading your adventures on the way to reach blog-stardom. You go girl!

    • Lynn
      August 30, 2011

      The irony is that i would NEVER want to be a star. I just like the challenge of doing it. At the same time, all this bullshit drives me crazy and i don’t even know why i care. And then the act of caring pisses me off too!

      Perhaps blogging is a diabolical plan by the world to keep me in therapy.

      • Katja Brown
        August 30, 2011

        BTW, is there a way for me to customize your web page? I noticed that in the bottom right corner you list “my favorite posts.” I would like to add today’s post to this list!
        Katja Brown recently posted..Are we become information narcissists?My Profile

        • Lynn
          August 30, 2011

          Nope, I have to do that myself

  3. Dorothy
    August 30, 2011

    I still have no clue what Stumblesomething is though I have “stumbled” on it somewhere. LOL. I started blogging in Jan. and have no clue what all those suggested icons are for in dashboard of my blog. I just nod and pretend to get it meanwhile I ignore their suggestions and figure if someone finds me, they find me. LOL
    It’s ok Lynn. Them Geeks like to make things complicated so that us non-Geeks just feel dumb……they roll their eyes at us while we pull our hair out trying to understand their point.
    Dorothy recently posted..Giving My Truth a VoiceMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 30, 2011

      Sometimes I enjoyed it more when I was ignorant! And probably if I had never had three weeks of big numbers, I would’ve been fine, but to have them taken away? That’s just plain mean

  4. By Word of Mouth Musings
    August 30, 2011

    Listen to Katja …. write and read ….
    The numbers world that you have sitting in that iPhone and iPad of yours, both which you keep at your fingertips to check things that i don’t understand every waking moment are going to leave you in need of more than therapy. Then you will forget all about the lovely happy unicorns and roses side of blogging (that was sarcasm in case you missed it)
    But in the meantime, since i know you will keep on working on this magic algorithm in every sphere of counting numbers … when you take your blog to stardom – as your dear friend – you’ll have to take me with you.
    By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Conversations In The CarMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 30, 2011

      today…i’m thinking of quitting

  5. Jayme (RandomBlogette)
    August 30, 2011

    I don’t get it either. I am trying but it is so damn confusing. Good luck!
    Jayme (RandomBlogette) recently posted..I Promised Myself I Wouldn’t Cry…And I Didn’t!My Profile

    • Lynn
      August 30, 2011

      driving me nuts….it’s all a conspiracy

  6. KLZ
    August 30, 2011

    They’re totally snakes with apples, tempting you to screw yourself over for eternity.
    KLZ recently posted..Haircut for the ToddlerMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 30, 2011

      totally…couldn’t agree more.

  7. Veronica
    August 30, 2011

    OMG YES! So freaking confusing! This is excellent. *stumbles away*

    • Lynn
      August 30, 2011

      hahaha…too funny…i’m baffled about the entire process

  8. Leigh Ann
    August 30, 2011

    I totally stumbled this post.

    • Lynn
      August 30, 2011

      hahaha…thanks…won’t do any good though…i am on double top secret probation i think

  9. Luda
    August 30, 2011

    I’ve stumbled a lot of my own posts. Oops.

    • Lynn
      August 30, 2011

      i did also…then i hit the proverbial wall…or something, who knows?

  10. Name *
    August 30, 2011

    OHMYGOD. I was NOT a math major. In fact, I’m totally allergic to math and the two of us agreed long ago to disassociate with one another. In fact, the word MATH on a page looks like “RUN AWAY AND HIDE!” to me. I’m mathlexic. All this talk of algorithms makes my head hurt and I already had PMS. Thanks a lot, Lynn!

    Soooo, from your post I assume you stumbled into some horridly misguided algorithm and now most of your blogging online identity is lost in cyberspace and that should teach you a valuable lesson….NEVER TRUST MATH!!! (or someone else’s math, I guess. *Especially mine*) Only trust LANGUAGE (the kind that’s NOT written in ones and zeros). My husband was a math major. Sometimes just sitting next to him makes me itch….

    How can I help you? I’ll tweet your links if you want. Just don’t ask me to ADD or MULTIPLY or DIVIDE anything! My throat feels tight. I’m going to take a Benadryl……
    Name * recently posted..Four deaths and one of them might not be my fault…My Profile

    • Lynn
      August 30, 2011

      Let me get this straight. You do or don’t like math? Just kidding. I’m being shunned br StumbleUpon. I can’t say why or how. I always love tweets or shares but mostly I love to bitch and moan about stuff.

  11. Lady Estrogen
    August 30, 2011

    Well, it’s a damn good thing I don’t give a shit about that thingy-ma-jiggy.

    Although, I do love the word algorithm… just the word itself, not what it is or whateverthefuck it does.

    Just saying.
    Lady Estrogen recently posted..I Haven’t Had EnoughMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 31, 2011

      Well…you’re too busy to deal with that crap

  12. Name *
    September 5, 2011

    That just sucks.

    Tell me, is google plus evil, too

    I heard it steals pictures from your blog that you can never recover.

    • Lynn
      September 6, 2011

      Have to admit… I don’t know much about Google + at all. StumbleUpon sucks you in and destroys you though. No worries though, doesn’t matter

  13. Name *
    September 7, 2011

    The same exact thing happened to me.
    Name * recently posted..New Winners Announced! & New Giveaways Posted This Week!My Profile

    • Lynn
      September 7, 2011

      Doesn’t it suck? And piss you off

  14. Name *
    September 7, 2011

    Furthermore, I stumbled this post!
    PS I also got addicted to the traffic.

    • Lynn
      September 7, 2011

      Hee hee…a fellow StumbleUpon person who got screwed…it’s so fucked up right?

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