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In which i’m a lousy nurse

stretcher

Guys, I’m a lousy nurse so if you ever need one you definitely should NOT call me. Let me explain.

 

If you’ve been reading this blog for a long time you know that I’ve had to take care of Keely more than once. If I’m not lazy then I’ll look for a link but knowing me I probably won’t so I’ll give you a bit of a recap.

 

The first time Keely had surgery on her hip, she was in the hospital for almost a week but when she came home she was still on crutches (actually she was on them for six months) and pain pills so when she had to get up or pee we had to accompany her to the bathroom. Keely texted me in the middle of the night on her first day back and I went upstairs and got her to the bathroom. When we got back to the bed, I had her leaning against the bed.

 

Of course, I had moved her crutches out of the way and she needed help getting back in bed. All of a sudden I knew, I KNEW that I was going to pass out. I could hear the roaring in my ears and I felt dizzy. I told her I had to lie down and she was all like “what do I do?” and I told her to “call daddy” who was downstairs asleep.

 

You can imagine the scene though: Keely is leaning against the bed dying and I’m on the floor trying to not completely pass out and Kevin came upstairs and was all “WTF??”

 

Fast forward two years and it happened again at Duke Hospital when they told us Keely needed a femoral bypass. I turned to Kevin and said “I’m going to pass out” and they said “get her out of here” and that was that.

 

So last week Keely had surgery and was once again on pain pills. I was on east coast time and this was the west coast so I was already tired. I got her into bed around 10:30 and finally fell asleep around 11:15 PM and she texted me at 12:30 AM saying she had to pee.

 

I got up, got her to the bathroom and got her back to bed. I fell asleep again around 1:00 and at 2:30 AM she texts me that she has to pee again. I was tired; really, really tired but what could I do but get up and take her to the bathroom.

 

Which I did and that was fine but we got back to bed and of course, the hardest thing is always getting back in bed. I had her leaning against the bed when I heard the roaring and felt the wave.

 

Me:                  Keely, I’m going to pass out

Keely:              seriously mom?

Me:                  yeah, I have to lie down on the floor

Keely:              well I can’t call dad this time

 

Of course he was in NC and i was in LA with her so I lay down and she just stood there in pain looking at me like again mom? Again???

 

Finally i thought i could stand up again and I stood up, a little unsteady on my feet, but certainly upright.

 

Me:                  let’s get this done

Keely:              are you all right?

Me:                  i just need us both back in bed

 

so i got her in bed and i got in bed and fortunately she didn’t text me again until 6:00 AM by which time I was almost going to live through the day.

 

Keely of course, texted Kevin and Andie and everyone that once again her mom had passed out.

 

Conclusion: I’m not well suited for nursing.

 

… or for being a mom

 

… or for being sleeping

 

THAT IS ALL!

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8 Comments

  1. kath
    May 29, 2014

    It worries me that you pass out so frequently. Can you teach me how to do it? Not that I am minimizing your flatting out…
    but there are times I wish I would. Or could. I fall. Often. Not the same thing at all. ouch.

    • Lynn
      May 29, 2014

      three times/five years … not too too bad. It seems to happen when I’m really tired or emotionally stressed. It’s terribly inconvenient. I also fall a lot. hmmm

  2. Dianne
    May 29, 2014

    My mom is not the best nurse at all. She got sick and I got off work and made her home made chicken noodle soup and took it to her place and laid in bed with her when she was not feeling good. fast forward a couple weeks later and I get her sickness and she tells me she will take care of me. Well someone had a birthday party and she was at a bar and got all kinds of drunk and called me to come pick her up. I was like really mom??? you said you were going to take care of me and I am taking care of you once again. I still throw that in her face once in awhile and tell her she SUCKS. Ha, Ha

    • Lynn
      June 2, 2014

      wow…thats terrible!

  3. Julie
    May 29, 2014

    Poor Keely.
    Poor Lynn.
    Hope she is on the recovery “fast track”.

    • Lynn
      June 2, 2014

      she’s getting better now…and i’m home so that’s nice

  4. Millie Noe
    May 30, 2014

    Hi Lynn,
    It sounds to me like you could use a nurse. I hope your daughter is okay. And you too. You might want to withhold fluids from the poor girl before she goes to bed.
    Millie Noe recently posted..Gardening Tips from Millie and Sven – Part IIMy Profile

    • Lynn
      June 2, 2014

      i tried but she was so dehydrated from the surgery and meds

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