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In which i’m a shield maiden


I’m getting ready to take off for the airport but I wanted to quickly write down my epiphany from last night.  Kevin, Daniel (home for spring break) and I started watching the History Channel’s VIKINGS on TV.


First, it looked pretty interesting and there’s a dearth of good programs on TV and second I’m pretty into History so we went for it.  We watched the pilot and it was very well cast and set up for some epic stuff to occur.


We learned that the main characters wife was a “shield maiden” or in more current jargon she was a “bad ass!”


In the second episode the guy decided to go pillage other villages and he told his wife she had to stay behind.  She was truly pissed off because he had apparently promised that she could go pillage as well.  As a result, she grabbed her shield and totally attacked him.


When she yelled at him to fight, he grabbed his shield and started fighting back.  They fought for quite some time until they started kissing.  Then they started fighting again and their son came and broke it up.


At this point, Kevin and I had the following conversation:


Me:                  Wow, fighting as a form of foreplay


Kevin:             seems excessive


Me:                  I would have totally been a shield maiden back in the day


Kevin:             you’re too lazy


Me:                  I would have kicked your ass


Kevin:             are you kidding me?


Me:                  yeah, I might get some shields anyways.  I wonder where you get them?


Kevin:             why?


Me:                  I can see it now: you’d walk in after a hard day at work and I’d attack you and I’d beat the crap out of you.  It’d help get rid of the bad energy from the day!


Kevin:             you’d never beat me


Me:                  of course I would … but there’s a problem


Kevin:             what’s that?


Me:                  well, Daniel has inconveniently gone away to college so there’d be no one to stop me so I’d probably end up hurting you


Kevin:             doubtful


Me:                  so once again, I’d be in trouble and it’d be all Daniels fault


Daniel:            I don’t see where it would be my fault


Me:                  once again, you shirk your duty by leaving


Kevin:             Daniel, do you see all the stupid conversations that I constantly have to have since you left


Daniel:            yeah, doesn’t look like much has changed


So there you are!  I’m going to be a shield maiden and also, you should watch Vikings on The History Channel.  It’s pretty bad ass.

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One Comment

  1. Julie
    April 1, 2013

    I happen to know that Party City carries some fabulous styrofoam shields. You should get one.

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