This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i’m a traffic cop


Sometimes I wonder why I even bothered going to college and getting a degree.  After all, I spend most of my time like a traffic cop sending people off to various places, running errands and doing incredibly boring things like my paper work.


For example, yesterday I had to take Keely down to Duke so I left a list for Daniel to get done.  Because I had my shrink appointment from 11-12 and trust me, I really needed to go, Daniel met me at 12 at Chik-fil-a with Keely.  This would accomplish two things.  First, I could get Keely and I lunch before the drive to Durham and second, I could get Keely without having to drive all the way back to my house.


So I get to Chik-fil-a and I finally find a parking place because everything is jammed since it’s the lunch hour.  Daniel comes to my car and he’s very proud of himself since he got a parking space directly next to a walking area so that Keely had plenty of room to get out of his car on crutches.


Daniel:                        Did you see that great parking spot I got mom?


Me:                              I did, it’s a great space


Daniel:                        it was crowded but I got this really great spot so that Keely could get out easily


Me:                              there’s only one flaw with your plan


Daniel:                        what’s that mom?


Me:                              well, I couldn’t find a parking space near here and I can’t pull my car into this area so Keely will still have to crutch it over to my car


Daniel:                        oh….



So yeah, there’s that.  At any rate, I picked up lunch, threw Keely in the car (not really threw but gently placed her I suppose) and took off for Durham.  Daniel had to return home before his errands because he had forgotten his wallet with his ID.  Later, I received the following phone call.


Daniel:                        Mom


Me:                              Daniel


Daniel:                        I can’t read your handwriting


Me:                              are you kidding me? I spent time making it neat?


Daniel:                        this is neat?


Me:                              for me


Daniel:                        well, I’m at the health department


Me:                              did you get the printout?


Daniel:                        yeah


Me:                              now go to the pediatrician and get the form


Daniel:                        what does all this writing say?


Me:                              well, I can’t actually see it since I’m in DURHAM but I think it says to go to Dr. Lowe’s office and pick up your Duke form and have a list of immunizations printed out


Daniel:                        what’s this other line?


Me:                              it’s the address


Daniel:                        well I can’t read it


So off he went.  The entire thing was aggravating anyways because on Monday I dropped off the form for Duke at the pediatricians.  I asked them to fill it out.


That’ll be $5 they said.  Yeah, it was $5 to fill out the physical form.  But no worries.  I paid the $5 and asked them to fax it down to Duke.  The number was on the form.


“We can’t do that,” they said.  Well that was a hassle so I said, “fine, I’ll come pick it up on Thursday.”


“You can’t pick it up” they informed me.


“Why not?” I asked.


“Because he’s 18 and unless he signs all the HIPPA stuff you can’t pick it up.”


So basically, I can drop it off and I can wait and I can pay for it but I can’t pick it up because he’s 18.  Never mind the fact that I wanted a printout of the immunizations.  Even though I have the form somewhere at home (that’s the problem, I couldn’t find it) they couldn’t reprint it for me because of the stupid HIPPA laws.


So long story short, that’s why Daniel was picking the stuff up.  At any rate, after going through the forms last night I realized that he needs a Meningitis booster so that has to be arranged before we fax in the forms.


See what I mean?  I’m a traffic cop.  All I do is direct people to different places.  Also, I am constantly bored with the stuff I have to do.


I just want to have fun people, is that too much to ask?


ADDENDUM:  So I called to see if Daniel could run in and get his ONE shot that he needs and they informed me that he has to have a physical first since it’s been a while.  Are you kidding me?  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?


So, I’m going to send him to the Doc in a Box to get the booster shot.  All my tasks are these stupid little things but they never get completed. They just keep getting rolled over to the next day and it’s driving me crazy.  I seriously doubt I’ll be around much longer because I’m slowly going insane.

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  1. Dylan Calista
    June 22, 2012

    It’s funny because I can’t read my Mom’s handwriting. We both drive each other mad with it because she leaves notes for me to run errands for her but then I can’t read what’s on the note so I have to call her or text her, then she explains, gets frustrated and ends up doing everything by herself.

    Then when Mom gets home, it’s the ‘You could have written it a lot better so that I could help’ conversation and the ‘I don’t know why you’re the only person who can’t read my handwriting’ when the entire family can’t read her writing. It isn’t just me.

  2. Dylan
    June 22, 2012

    I tried to leave a comment earlier but it wouldn’t post…not sure what’s going on but it’s been 2 days already.

    I can’t read my Mom’s handwriting, either, so getting me to run errands for her through the instruction of handwritten notes is a really, really bad idea.

  3. Annabelle
    June 22, 2012

    It’s amazing how much traffic direction normal life takes, isn’t it? I sometimes spend whole days REALLY BUSY and then get to the end and can’t remember what I did because it was all little stuff like that.

  4. Julie
    June 22, 2012

    My daughter has long out-grown her pediatritian. She now goes to my Internest wants her previous medical records. I have had the form on my desk for at least six months. Is it all filled out? Yes. Have I followed through with getting it my doc? Hell no.

  5. jester queen
    June 22, 2012

    Doh and doh and doh again. Thank god for urgent care

  6. Mark D.French
    June 22, 2012

    You are a very busy mom, as hurriedly that your hand writing can’t be read. And even the people that you need in your normal life jammed like traffic.

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