This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
One of the problems with having a mood swing disorder is that you have mood swings. For the most part, I take Prozac, which keeps me, pretty stable. I know what you’re thinking. That’s not what Prozac is for but the truth is that I’m incredibly reactive to drugs and have had so many bad side effects from other drugs that I’m at the point where I’m way too scared to ever change my meds.
I didn’t start taking Prozac until after I had kids so basically in my mid 30’s. I’m now 53 and even though every once in a while I’m so depressed that I want to change I know that history proves it’s a bad idea to do so. Even though this isn’t perfect it’s so much better than it used to be.
Now that I’m in my 50’s my mood swings aren’t as intense. So I suppose all you young women can possibly take heart from that. At any rate, normally when I get into a “manic” phase I’m pretty psyched about it. I’m normally really happy and very prolific in my writing or painting or whatever the hell I’m into at the time. Last time I was in an extended manic phase I didn’t need much sleep and I got so much done.
This time, not so much. This particular manic phase is sort of an anxious one. I was talking to my shrink this past week (remember I go every week to a shrink) and we were discussing how I’m so worried about so many things. It’s aggravating because I have absolutely no control over any of them and yet I find myself obsessively looking for solutions.
For example, Andie is going through the med school process and I know she’s worried and therefore so am I. Kevin, of course, is overwhelmed at work and I know he (and the business) will be fine but of course I feel sort of helpless. Keely is doing well and about to move out to Los Angeles so I’m worried about being an empty nester.
For some reason, I’m not all that worried about Daniel right now. I was, but it seems as if he’s doing okay down there at Duke.
The end result of all this worry is that I can’t seem to focus to get any damn blog posts written. I’ve written a few and I really don’t like them. In fact, I don’t particularly like this one either but I’m going to put it up anyways. After all, you should probably know where my head is at just in case this blog starts totally sucking.