This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i’m just a link in the chain

 

 I went to Pilates today for the first time in two weeks and ran into one of the most diligent readers of my blogs, who told me that she had some questions, but didn’t feel comfortable leaving comments directly on the blog and wanted to know if it was okay for her to just email me.  I explained that bloggers actually like it when people leave comments but that she should feel free to email me if she wished and by the way, what was her question?

She is actually one of my blog’s most diligent readers.  I don’t think that the people I know intentionally don’t read my blog, most of them just seem to be busy. (For some reason everyone I know is always busy…what do they do with themselves?)  At any rate, she said that after reading my blog, she had been clicking on the blogs of people who commented on my posts and she had started reading their blogs.  I love the way the blogging community works like that.  I’m merely one link in a long chain.  One such person was Emma Jayne whose blog is Hot Flashes of Inspiration.  My friend loved that blog and she wanted to know if I knew Emma.  I explained that indeed, I did know her and that was one of the most interesting things about blogging that I’ve come across:  the feeling of community.

As I’ve said before, when I began this blog my intention was just to write out my stories.  As I continued on, things morphed a bit so now, although I still include my stories, I feel like I’ve actually been writing more about my insights on my life and the people who impact it in some way, whether it be big or small.  The most interesting thing I have noticed is that I’m connecting with people in a way I never looked for and certainly never expected.  These people are of both sexes, diverse income groups, varied geographical regions and ages, but every single connection is changing me in small ways.  It’s been one of the most interesting sociological things to ever happen to me. 

So, Emma. She is around my age and our kids are also around the same age, so you might say that our lives are in a similar stage.  What stage is that?  I suppose it’s the menopausal time of your life when your kids are still kids and yet, they’re on the way to becoming adults.  They need you when THEY want you and not necessarily when you want to be needed.  Therefore, if there’s not an immediate response to them, they’re put out.  When your kids need you less, you start a process of self discovery.  For many moms, this leads to an immediate depression.  I know this as I’ve seen in with some of my friends and I get it.  If your entire adult life has been about others, then what happens when they don’t need or want your input?  You need to look around and find something that you love that gives you a sense of your own self worth.

Unexpectedly, that’s what this blog has done for both me and Emma, and I think quite a few others.  When you find a blogger that has several things in common with you, the next steps are becoming Twitter or usually, in my case, email buddies.  It’s been an incredible journey making new friends at my age.  In many cases, I have even found ways to help my new friends, whether through sharing my personal experiences or just by giving them advice.

But it’s more than that.  When somebody makes an effort to read my blog, I reciprocate.  Sometimes an innocuous little comment like “my son was diagnosed with Autism too” can lead you down a path you never expected to go.

It’s these connections that have made a difference to me.  I was attempting to explain to my children how emotional both the writing and posting of Daniel’s experience was for ME.  When Jill posted Daniel’s story of hope on Yeah. Good Times, the comments made me feel better than almost anything ever has before.  The fact that it gave people HOPE brought tears to my eyes. That connection almost made Daniel’s journey worth it.

It has brought a new sense of self and of society to me.  When you live in the same town for a long time, you tend to stay within the friend group you formed when your kids were young.  This is fairly typical so it has been amazing meeting people who live their lives in a completely different fashion from mine.  It’s interesting how many people have lives that are parallels of yours, and yet NOT. 

I personally have enjoyed these new connections and though I’ve only been at this four months, I hope I continue to meet and befriend even more people.  I’ve only met one in person thus far but it was incredibly interesting to meet the person behind the blog. 

So what’s my point here?  I suppose it’s that not only am I increasing my network of friends and acquaintances but that by having readers that are following the bread crumbs as well, I’m expanding the world of the people I know.  In some small way, we are all just links in a gigantic chain.

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30 Comments

  1. Jen
    January 17, 2011

    I feel the same way…. you just said it better than I could.

    I have only being doing this since the end of November but I love it. I am like addicted but addicted seems that there is something bad involved. I guess passionate is a better word.

    • Lynn
      January 17, 2011

      hahaha…thanks for the compliment. I don’t know if i’m addicted per se but i must admit, i’ve enjoyed the experience. Thanks for commenting

  2. Lori
    January 17, 2011

    This is such a great post because it gets to the heart of blogging and it’s wonderful loving and supportive community. Since I am isolated at home quite a bit, I so appreciate the connections I have through blogging…I count myself blessed whenever I come across a new blog that speaks to my heart, makes me laugh or stretches my understanding or beliefs. Just found you recently and so glad I did.

    • Lynn
      January 17, 2011

      Thank you so much! That means alot to me…i hope you stick around then!

  3. Nicki
    January 17, 2011

    The community feeling was something that I was hoping to get but didn’t really expect it (at least to this extent) when I started blogging! I am thrilled with how many people I have touched and have touched me. I laugh and cry while I read blogs and comments left on my blog. I nearly pissed myself laughing at one last night (Barefoot Foodie’s A Tale of Seduction). During the first week in January, I traveled to NC and met a long-time blog friend for the first time! I felt so blessed that she was willing to drive for an hour and 20 minutes with her baby to meet me for lunch! It was so wonderful! I totally get what you are saying here! I hope you continue to meet people who make you happy!!

    • Lynn
      January 17, 2011

      Thanks… i appreciate it. It’s kind of an unexpected bonus.

  4. By Word of Mouth Musings
    January 17, 2011

    Hello blogging friend who I get to visit with at Blissdom in just a few days!

    I am not heading to get fit for this event, since I figure if I starve myself of food and liquor prior to going, then ultimately my body will go into toxic shock while in TN, and then what fun would that be?
    Having started blogging only back in June 2010, but not really getting into Twitter until more recently – I would encourage people to tweet. Trust me, I have no idea what I am doing on there, and downloaded Tweetdeck to only find myself even more confused … but the ‘friends, the friends’ the connections made thro Twitter are a far cry from my lonely little world on my blog.
    In fact, Twitter, that would be where I found my friend Lynn :)

    • Lynn
      January 17, 2011

      hahaha…i actually joined Twitter to talk to people i was in this “fandom” with. I never thought about it for the blog until later. I have met some awesome people through Twitter and, in fact, find it a wee tad addictive. We’re meeting soon! SWEET!!!

  5. julie
    January 17, 2011

    Yep. All true. Being a link in the chain is a great way to put it. And whether you’re connecting with someone else who’s raising a child with autism or making someone else (like me) feel as if I’m not the only mother in the world who would forget to check the date on her family’s tickets to The Lion King, you’re reaching out. You’re not alone.
    And that makes all the difference.

    • Lynn
      January 17, 2011

      Well put! I’m really enjoying the entire blogging process and the community surrounding it! What a fun journey it’s been.

  6. I agree, that is one of my favorite parts of blogging!

    • Lynn
      January 17, 2011

      Yeah…it’s such a bonus!

  7. Craig
    January 17, 2011

    I’ve been reading – just delurked today. I’ve named this year “connecting” – so this hit home. It’s all about enlarging our world isn’t it?

    And at it four months? You’re an old pro. I’ve been at it 8 weeks. :)

    See you at Blissdom.

    God Bless and Keep you and all of yours

    • Lynn
      January 17, 2011

      Thanks for delurking. I lurked on a site for months until one day I didn’t. Now a bunch of people are some of my best pals. Looking forward to meeting you in Nashville!

  8. vodkamom
    January 17, 2011

    We are all links, and sometimes we needs reminders that if we want our friends to continue to visit, then we must make the effort to visit as well.

    Thanks for the reminder! xoxox

    • Lynn
      January 17, 2011

      Why hello there! I appreciate you dropping by. I think it’s more than visits, it’s the impacts all these new acquaintances have upon your life, like YOU for example. Great impact! :)

  9. Sharon
    January 17, 2011

    This is the best one yet. Why? Because it speaks volumes to the heart of why we start doing what we do when we spill out words into the blogosphere.

    I have found some of the most amazing people in blog land that I never would have met, otherwise!

    This social network continues to inspire me, teach me, help me grow and at the end of the day, I continue to want to be a better person.

    And, I love your blog! Glad to have found you.

    • Lynn
      January 17, 2011

      Thank you, thank you, thank you. I really appreciate that. I just write what I think and I’m glad you’re enjoying it. So you’re a pastor? Doesn’t my cursing bother you? Just curious…take care and did I mention, thanks?

  10. Leigh Ann
    January 17, 2011

    Only 4 months? Fo some reason I thought you’d been doing it for longer. I really enjoy reading your stories AND your takes on life. Keep up the awesome blogging!

    • Lynn
      January 17, 2011

      Thanks…well, in going on five months now but no, I’m pretty new here! Thanks for reading.

  11. Emma Jayne
    January 17, 2011

    Oh, Lynn! You put my feelings into words so eloquently. I never imagined I would connect with such amazing women (like you….natch) when I started this whole blogging thing. Thank you so much for your kind words and friendship (Online for now. In real time AS SOON AS FUCKING POSSIBLE!)

    • Lynn
      January 17, 2011

      Ditto girl!!!

  12. Name *
    January 17, 2011

    You really hit the nail on the head. I started blogging just to write for myself. But I have made friends I would never have known any other way. And the comments are so satisfying. It does sort of sting when folks get too busy to read. But you know your fellow bloggers read, because we know what it is to put yourself out there in words. Good stuff.

    • Lynn
      January 17, 2011

      Thanks for the comment. It really is an interesting process…you start writing and you end up with friends. I’m just following the breadcrumbs.

  13. Andrea
    January 18, 2011

    That is a perfect way to describe it. I found you via Marinka’s blog, in her comments, and therefore followed the chain, I guess. I love when I find people that way and it’s true that it’s one of the greatest aspects of blogging!

    • Lynn
      January 18, 2011

      I know…the comment section is a great way to find new friends and people. Thanks for checking me out!

  14. Alexandra
    January 18, 2011

    This is a very good post, Lynn. Mamapedia would like it. I have the submission info on a post I did (not hawking here, just telling) or it’s pretty easy to find on their main page.

    They’d like this post. It’s very earnest.

    Interestingly enough, the question for me is, what happens when your virtual friends begin to get you more than your IRL friends.

    And it’s frustrating when someone you want to talk about is someone they don’t know. You want to say, “hey…this IS important.” But they don’t get why’d you spend time with people you never even met.

    You have to be a blogger to get it. I did a piece for FunnynotSlutty on that (not hawking, just telling) on how you can’t understand a blogger’s feeling for another blogger, until you blog.

    See what I mean by excellent post? I can’t shut up.

    Thank you

    • Lynn
      January 18, 2011

      Thank you…that means alot to me that you liked the post. It is difficult explaining the “online” world to RL friends although i’m actually starting to get some of them into it too! That helps. I would love the info BTW, i’ve never submitted my stuff to any sites and indeed, don’t really even know of them. THanks

  15. financial aid for college
    January 23, 2011

    Valuable info. Lucky me I found your site by accident, I bookmarked it.

    • Lynn
      January 23, 2011

      Thanks!

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