This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i’m like MacGyver … but even better

Let me tell you how this blog works.  Actually, scratch that.  Let me tell you how this blog is supposed to work in theory.  When I’m in a fairly good mood, usually after I have loads of caffeine with some Ritalin thrown into the mix, I sit down and write about whatever topic I feel like.  Sometimes it’s something “real” that happened in the news or something and sometimes it’s conversations that I had with someone, usually Kevin or a kid of mine.

 

Occasionally it’s just the free flowing ideas that go through my head.  As I go through my everyday life, I see stuff that either incenses or amuses me and oftentimes I take a picture and think, “someday I’m going to write about this” although I rarely do because you know, once the moments lost its totally lost.

 

Every once in a while I’ll go through my cell phone and think “what the hell are all these stupid pictures?” and I’ll realize that maybe, just maybe, I should make a post with all the randomness that occupies my small, and yet incredibly imaginative mind.

 

TODAY IS THAT DAY!

 

Today I’m going to address a few of the things that I have pictures of on my phone so ready or not, here I come.  Oh wait a minute.  Before I do that I did want to write down a conversation I had with Kevin when I was driving around.  As many of you know, Kevin actually works for a living.  Actually, Kevin works for the living of all 4 of the other members of his family.  In other words, Kevin got the raw end of the stick.  That doesn’t sound right.  Perhaps he got the raw end of the deal.

 

At any rate, every once in a great while I tend to kick it into overdrive and actually ACCOMPLISH some shit around here.  That way, I don’t feel so guilty and Kevin doesn’t actually have to get angry with me and try to lecture me.  After all, one of my basic credos is that I no longer accept lectures.

 

So today, since I’ve been in London for 5 days and Thanksgiving is coming up, I decided that what the hell, I’m going to do some shit around here.  So, I went to the dry cleaners, put some food in the house and last, but not least, decided I would take in the vacuum cleaner that was “reportedly” broken.  I didn’t break it…I don’t vacuum silly readers.

 

As I was taking the vacuum cleaner to the vacuum cleaner fixer people I called Kevin up to report my awesomeness.  Firstly because I was back in the country and I could and secondly, because I always like to be congratulated for acting like a responsible adult.  Here’s the recap:

 

Kevin:             Hello?

Me:                  Hey, it’s me! What cha doing?

Kevin:             I’m having a working lunch with Rodney?

Me:                  Is it really work if food’s involved?

Kevin:             Lynn, what’s up?

Me:                  I’ve been amazing today.

Kevin:             What did you do?

Me:                  What didn’t I do is more like it?

Kevin:             I think it would be easier if you listed what you actually DID!

Me:                  Unbelievable ye of little faith.  Well, I went to the dry cleaners, worked out, bought all the Thanksgiving stuff, did a week of blog posts and NOW I’m taking in this vacuum thingie that you guys broke.

Kevin:             Did you remember the small pieces?

Me:                  yes…like I would EVER forget anything

Kevin:             Remember to tell him about that little piece, did you get the piece?

Me:                  Kevin, while people like you might need to use ALL the little parts of the machines, incredible people like me can actually put stuff together without bothering with all those stupid little parts.

Kevin:            Lynn, there’s this little fastener in there.

Me:                 Kevin.  I’m not worried about the little fastener.  I can just use chewing gum or something to hold it together.

Kevin:             Lynn?

Me:                  I mean, I’m like MacGyver but EVEN BETTER!

Kevin:             Right? Like MacGyver, but better.

Me:                  EVEN BETTER

Kevin:             Did I tell you I was in a business meeting?

Me:                  I believe the words you used were “working lunch”

Kevin:             I need to go

Me:                  I just felt you should know that as per usual, I’m exceeding the human limits of awesome.

Kevin:             Just get the damn vacuum fixed.

… and there you are! I get absolutely no respect from my immediate family.    Gosh! Now this post is so long I’m going to call it a day.  I’ll tell you about the picture thing another time.  Damn this blog shit is a piece of cake!

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16 Comments

  1. Pamela D Hart
    November 25, 2011

    You ARE awesome. Even WAY better than MacGyver. I would’ve just bought a new vacuum cleaner (that’s probably why we have 3). That’s what I do. Something breaks, I buy a new one, and my husband fixes the broken one.

    Oh I think we should have working lunches! Scratch that, I like liquid lunches–even better than working lunches…who wants to work? Well besides the husbands who have to support our dysfunctional asses. ;-)
    Pamela D Hart recently posted..Three Men & A RadioMy Profile

    • Lynn
      November 25, 2011

      sure…where do you live?

      • Pamela D Hart
        November 25, 2011

        holy crap that was a fast response! What the hell, you sitting there next to your computer? lol

        I live in Pennsylvania, take note, that will be on a test some day. ;-)

        • Lynn
          November 25, 2011

          i just happened to be checking my computer at the time…now I’m checking it again before i go work out. See?

  2. The Redneck Princess
    November 25, 2011

    Bhahahha….I found your blog through The Bloggess. Love it, you crack me up! The first post that I read was the circumcision post, ya, now I am hooked. I will be back to read more and seriously, it is totally possible to fix shit without the little parts, I do it all the time, and then I take it to a repair guy :) Have a great Friday.
    The Redneck Princess recently posted..The Princess and a very Winnie the Pooh blustery day…My Profile

    • Lynn
      November 25, 2011

      thanks for finding me…glad you’re enjoying it. I just type up this crap and put it out there to the world and i never know what’s up after that.

      You have a great day too!

  3. Wendy Roberts
    November 26, 2011

    I so want a MacGyver-esque person such as yourself to come and fix my vacuum and then send Kevin over to my house to do the actual vacuuming. I’ll pay him in beer and you and I can go have a spa day while he gets drunk and tries to vacuum up guinea pig hair (who knew those little fat-asses shed?!)

    • Lynn
      November 26, 2011

      No problem…when should we be there

      • Wendy Roberts
        November 27, 2011

        Today. Tomorrow. Soon. That pig hair is building up I tell you!

  4. Elijah
    November 28, 2011

    I know it is still in the works, the script has been written, but I do not know the plans for it. I personally can’t wait because I loved MacGuyver. I just hope they pick some one suitable to play him or it will be a complete bust.
    Elijah recently posted..investing onlineMy Profile

  5. Missy | The Literal Mom
    November 28, 2011

    MacGyver – one of my all time favorite shows! Thanks for the laugh tonight!

    • Lynn
      November 29, 2011

      my pleasure girl

  6. Pettina
    November 29, 2011

    I remember, watching MacGyver when I was a kid and it really amazed and fascinates me… Reading your post makes me remember those moments. Thank you for sharing your ideas here..
    Pettina recently posted..Ways To Boost FertilityMy Profile

    • Lynn
      November 29, 2011

      too funny

  7. Cherry
    December 1, 2011

    I am not really familiar with MacGyver and I am only hearing it from my parents…Anyway, this post interests me a lot…
    Cherry recently posted..get back exMy Profile

  8. Kellie
    December 1, 2011

    I remember him and it makes me really think of my past together with my family…
    Kellie recently posted..Natural Skin Care MethodsMy Profile

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