This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i’m like SeaWorld


Andie’s gone back to school as you know but the other day she was around here and I walked into the office and realized that my fish tank wasn’t looking so good. It was still full of water and fish and other stuff but it was a bit yellow-tinged.


There are very few things I dislike more than cleaning the fish tank (although changing the cat litter comes to mind) but I figured that it needed to be done. I once had some “fish people” here and by “fish people” I don’t mean people that ARE fish but people that OWN and KNOW about fish.


They told me that I didn’t need to change out all the water but that I could basically change out half the water and things would be fine. So I set about doing that and I made Andie come in there. Now Andie is a bit freaked out by her fish because they used to be little itsy bitsy things and now they’re quite big.


She told me that they seemed crowded and perhaps we needed a bigger tank. I seriously already a not thrilled at the amount of room they take up in my office but I do agree that they probably need a bigger tank. Here’s what went down:


Andie:             do you think they’re happy?


Me:                  I don’t know


Andie:             I think they need a bigger tank


Me:                  they next size is 10 gallons and that’s huge


Andie:             yeah, but when I got them they probably already needed a bigger tank and now they’re huge


Me:                  what?


Andie:             yeah, they need a gallon an inch and they were each about 2 ½ inches but now they’re way, way bigger


Me:                  you never told me that. Holy shit! I’m like SeaWorld!!!


Andie;             hahaha …you’re not like SeaWorld


Me:                  sure I am. Now they’re going all public about making bigger tanks for their whales and all along my poor fish have been in a too-small tank


Andie:             we need to give them away


Me:                  who wants some gigantic goldfish?


Andie:             can we release them?


And then we looked that up on Google and you know what? Apparently due to people releasing goldfish into ponds a new species of GIGANTIC GOLDFISH has arisen. For example, in Lake Tahoe there are 3-4 pound goldfish ruining the ecosystems and this is happening all over.


So basically I’m stuck with these two guys until they die (which, by the way, could be 14 years) and they need a bigger tank and I’m like SeaWorld now and abusing my fish and what a fucking pain in the ass!


So that’s my world…how’s by you??

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  1. chacha1
    August 20, 2014

    oh dearie me! LOL
    this is why I am actually very grateful that my best beloved has never set up, i.e. put water and/or fish in, the aquarium I bought him for an anniversary present many anniversaries ago. I can just see us with a set of oversized geriatric fish that we can’t bring ourselves to kill.

    If you really want to get rid of those goldfish, though, I’ll bet all you need to do is put them in some water in a kiddie pool out in your yard. The local raccoons will take them off your hands. ;-)

    • Lynn
      August 22, 2014

      I can’t have them die on purpose, then i’ll feel awful!! hahaha

  2. Name *
    August 22, 2014

    I was lucky enough, I mean unlucky enough to lose the goldfish that my kids had won at the fair the week my sister took care of them. Apparently, according to my sister, my niece overfed them and given the too small of a tank they were swimming around in, they tanked. Not that I would wish suffocation on anybody, but I was off the hook after that. I cleaned the empty glass bowl out and gave it to my sister for future use. She ‘enjoyed’ several years of goldfish afer that.

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