This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i’m smarter than i thought i was

This morning I discovered that I was smarter than I thought I was. It’s true! Here’s what happened: every morning I get up (it’s an unusual first step, I know), get dressed, brush my teeth, take out the dog and then feed him. After I’ve done the basics, it’s “me” time. I begin my day making coffee. I need many, many cups of coffee throughout the day. Today I opened the drawer where we keep the #4 coffee filters and THERE WERE NO FILTERS! NONE! AT ALL! As you can imagine this was a disaster of cataclysmic proportions because, as I’ve explained before, I am a carefully controlled concoction of chemicals and caffeine is a necessary ingredient. It so happens that the filter drawer is also the “take out menu” drawer so there are lots and lots and lots of menus in there. I believe that I’ve reported that I don’t really cook. I mean, I CAN cook, I just don’t enjoy it and therefore choose not to cook. However, I am still REQUIRED to provide food to the family members that still live in my house therefore take out is a staple in Casa MacDonald. At any rate, there are millions of take out menus and I figured surely, stuck somewhere in this massive pile of menus, there would be a coffee filter. Alas, that wasn’t the case.

I had known for about two weeks that I was running low but since I HATE THE GROCERY STORE I’m usually in and out of there ASAP. In other words, I forgot to buy new filters. As I pondered the horrific beginning to my day, I thought “perhaps there’s a spare box in the pantry?” (Unlikely, but I can dream, right?) I walk the 10 feet to the pantry and begin my frantic search. There’s a lot of shit in there. As I’m slowly getting discouraged I discover a box of #4 coffee filters. OH MY GOD! I look in the box and there are about 10 coffee filters in the box. Apparently I knew that at some point I would be a complete dumbshit and would run out of filters. So I had left a small stash in the pantry just in case of such an emergency. I took about 8 of them and left two in the box, just in case I re-forget to buy some.

As I made my coffee, I explained to Daniel that “I was much smarter than I thought I was.” Daniel didn’t even bother to ask me why and just shook his head sadly and walked away. All my kids think I’m disorganized and dumber than hell, if that’s even possible. He gave me absolutely no credit for my brilliant mind. Kevin walked in and by now I was positively glowing with my own perfection and immediately announced to him “that I was smarter than I thought I was.” “How so?” he asked. After explaining the entire situation he laughed and said, “That’s such a ‘you’ thing to do”. He didn’t sound all that impressed about it though. He doesn’t understand why I just don’t make a list and go to the store like everybody else! But hey, if I didn’t do that I would never have all these epiphanies, now would I?

So there you are; my awesome story of coffee filter and revelation. Have you ever had the absolute joy of realizing that you’re smarter than you thought you were? It happens to me quite often but, as usual, those are stories for another day! Today, however I will rest on my laurels and revel in the genius that is me. Fortunately, the girls are coming home today for Thanksgiving so I won’t have to be the “genius” around the house, I’m sure they’ll take care of that for me!

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6 Comments

  1. An Authentic Life
    November 23, 2010

    So glad to know a) I am not the only coffee addict on the planet and b) can't stand the market. What is that about anyway??

  2. NIC
    November 23, 2010

    Your right we are alike. I LOVE it when I'm smarter than I think I am. Plus coffee well creamer with coffee is also what makes my world go round.

  3. Anonymous
    November 23, 2010

    Do you put those boots on while you're making coffee? And, do you fix your hair after you brush your teeth and get dressed?….I would certainly hope so!!!!! You always make me laugh!!

  4. Angela Steward
    November 28, 2010

    Too funny!!! Congrats on the realization!

  5. New Car Specs
    March 20, 2011

    Your blog looks cool. Nice choice of colors for the designing. I dont think this blog is WordPress is it?

    • Lynn
      March 20, 2011

      Yes, it is wordpress…and thanks

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