This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
Remember I told you that I went on a diet 10 days ago? Of course you remember, I was starving to death and bitching and moaning about it. Well, the initial period of starving to death four days was shortened to 3 due to the fact that I was starving to death and what the hell do you want from me.
So, I’ve been doing pretty well in my own sort of way for 10 days now. I’ve lost 2 ½ pounds and while that’s not great, I’m not complaining. Well not really complaining.
I’ve been doing this with Keely, which is both good and bad, mostly bad. Good because … well it’s good for her but she’s constantly giving me shit. Take yesterday for example:
Keely: I’m not really losing weight on this diet
Me: it’s not that hard
Keely: that’s because you’re not really following it
Me: yes I am
Keely: you don’t do the breakfast right?
Me: ummmm…I have to have my protein shake
Keely: and you don’t do the lunch right?
Me: I didn’t feel like their lunch
Keely: and you’re planning on a frozen yogurt tonight?
Me: I miss my chocolate
Keely: so you see mom, you’re totally not doing the diet
Me: yes I am
Keely: how so?
Me: I’m really watching what I eat
Keely: but not at all the “flat belly” way
Me: well, my belly feels much flatter
Keely: you’ve only lost 2 ½ pounds
Me: I only wanna lose 5 before California
Keely: you have no self discipline
Me: well, not much I grant you that
Keely: I meanwhile, have been following it
Keely: and am not impressed
Me: maybe that’s cuz you’re not drinking enough water
Keely: I have drunk so much water that I’m floating
Me: but not CUCUMBER water
Keely: that was awful
Me: it was awful
Keely: you quit making it
Me: because it was awful
Keely: so you see mom, you are once again not really following what you think you are
Me: to me Keely, barely following is as good as following
Me: see you can’t even follow me
And there you are. I’m dieting somewhat…eating better and all. I really only wanna lose 10 pounds overall because I have no desire to be skinny anymore. I just want to be comfortable in my clothes. Whatever… I hate instructions and rules and directions and honestly, I do poorly with all of them.