This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which i’m talking to YOU Jesus

 

The other day I posted about jury duty, or rather MY day at jury duty.  As per usual, it was me bitching and moaning NOT about doing my civic duty but about how disorganized and inefficient it was.  Here’s the post!

 

I was bitching that I had to be there at 8:15 in the morning but they wouldn’t even know until at least 10 or 11 (turned out to be 3:30) whether they would even NEED any jurors.  I received the following comment from some person who used a fake name and email address (I mean, I assume it was fake as it was jesus@jesus.com)

 

Here’s what he had to say:

 

“(Ok, that’s ridiculous. Why the hell do I need to be here if I’m not needed until 10 or 11 since its only 8:30 in the morning? This is bullshit! I totally could have gotten my spin class in)”

oh cry me a fucking river. you don’t work anyway, this blog is bullshit, and you just need to be at the club to get your dainty spin class in every day.

 

I got the comment and I couldn’t stop laughing and indeed posted it on Twitter as the BEST COMMENT EVER!!!

 

Here’s what I think.  I agree with Jesus.  I think my blog is mostly bullshit but I, of course, have NEVER claimed to be anything else.  Not only do I NOT claim to be deep or pensive or an authority on anything, I actually go out of my way to say that a “sense of humor is required” to read this blog.  But I don’t even care about that.

 

No, what really amused me is that nowhere in this post do I say that I don’t work.  Therefore, this guy JESUS must have read some other posts to know that.  So I suppose what I find amusing is that I get these people who tell me that I’m bullshit or in another case, that I’m a PSYCHOPATH and then they proceed to back up their claims with things I have said in my blog.

 

If they don’t like the blog, why do they delve further?  How could they possibly know any of the shit they use as proof if they’re not reading it? And why would they read it if they hate it?

 

It totally cracks me up.  Why do people read stuff they hate just so they can tell the people that they hate them?  If I hate someone or even dislike someone, I simply avoid him or her.  I don’t sit around and read their crap so I can refute it.  I mean, what’s the point? Don’t these people have a life?

 

My favorite was the psychopath comment though.  I wrote a post called “In which Google fucks us over”  and it was bitching about Google Friend Connect.

 

Now, my blog feed does get posted in a number of spots and I suppose one of them is Greensboro101, which is a consolidated listing of blogs in my local area.  I had completely forgotten that the feed went there but it did.  I received the following comment on my blog from a local person that said:

 

I don’t mind that you’re a psychopath, but when you put profanity in the title it shows up on Greensboro101 and kids see it. Use your brain for something other than a hat rack.

 

A hat rack?  Well, first of all I didn’t really think about the whole thing and I kind of get the guys point but I don’t know how many kids are looking through the listing anyways so I responded that:

 

I’m pretty sure that I’m not a psychopath

 

To which he responded:

 

Your regular conduct suggests otherwise.

 

At that point I said to Kevin, “hmmm…perhaps I should Google psychopath and find out what the true definition of the word is!” and so I did.

 

Here it is:

 

Psychopathy (/saɪˈkɒpəθi/[1][2]) is a personality disorder characterized primarily by a lack of empathy and remorse, shallow emotions, egocentricity, and deception. Psychopaths are highly prone to antisocial behavior and abusive treatment of others, and are disproportionately responsible for violent crime when in a violent emotional state or situation. Though lacking empathy and emotional depth, they often manage to pass themselves off as average individuals by feigning emotions and lying about their past.

 

Hmmm…well, I can’t deny that I come across as shallow and lacking empathy at TIMES on the blog but I honestly don’t think this person is in any position to judge me.  But not only that, unless this guy actually READ a great deal of my posts, he wouldn’t even know that about me.

 

AND THAT’S WHAT I FIND SO FUNNY!!

 

It’s apparent that the people who keep making these remarks have actually read enough of my posts to have the ammunition to back up their statements.

 

What the fuck people?  WHAT THE FUCK????

 

Is it strange that I find all of this so hilarious?  I always allow these comments to get posted.  Man, the comments I got on the circumcision post were unbelievable (you can read the post and the comments here) and I allowed most of them to go through.

 

Only in a few cases do I not allow the comments up.  First, if they’re incredibly nasty or if they’re just so demented that I don’t think others should have to read it.

 

People out there!  Reading blogs is a choice … A CHOICE.  If you don’t like me then whatever, don’t read my shit.

 

YEAH JESUS, I’m talking to you!

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38 Comments

  1. By Word of Mouth Musings
    January 18, 2012

    and clearly only a psychopath would refer to himself as Jesus …
    you sure do find them …
    By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Wordy Wordless Wednesday – HOPEMy Profile

    • Lynn
      January 18, 2012

      I don’t think it was the real one, ya know???? Hahahaha

  2. Jennifer
    January 18, 2012

    God, I love you. And you’re work. All of it. I’m gonna pray for Jesus today.

    • Jennifer
      January 18, 2012

      sorry, that’s “your.”

    • Lynn
      January 18, 2012

      Hahaha…,thanks. I already lost one subscriber. Guess this is offensive

  3. mommaontherocks
    January 18, 2012

    Well who cares about the 1 reader you lost. You just gained another one right here! This post is hilarious! Thanks for the early morning laugh!

    • Lynn
      January 18, 2012

      thanks for reading and commenting

  4. Pamela D Hart
    January 18, 2012

    Well, Lynn, they SAY this December is the END OF THE WORLD, so maybe the REAL Jesus found YOUR blog because he’s worried about YOU, and wants you to stop being such a psychopath so HE can save YOU!

    Then again, maybe there are just a whole lot of crazies out there and they just happen to find your blog. Who cares. It makes for great reading!
    Pamela D Hart recently posted..Who’s Afraid Of A Tiny Puppy?My Profile

    • Lynn
      January 18, 2012

      I actually enjoy when people troll my site. What are they trying to accomplish?

      • Pamela D Hart
        January 18, 2012

        “What are they trying to accomplish”

        What all trolls try to accomplish…piss you off or hurt your feelings.

        They don’t realize that you DO enjoy their antics! Plus it gives you writing material! ;-)
        Pamela D Hart recently posted..Who’s Afraid Of A Tiny Puppy?My Profile

        • Lynn
          January 18, 2012

          I know…i can’t imagine being upset by them…just one time did someone say something that actually bugged me!

  5. Ah, see, now I just read an excellent book on psychopaths – The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson – and you are not a psychopath, because you do not meet the criteria under the Hare Psychopath Checklist [it’s handy AND informative!].

    Your insane commenters are not psychopaths, either. Just monstrous assholes. Even Jesus.

    Keep writing.

    • Lynn
      January 18, 2012

      There is actually a book called “the psychopath next door” talking about how they’re everywhere

  6. Shock
    January 18, 2012

    I feel your pain, or maybe I just hit my funny-bone the wrong way. In my experience, the most persistent trolls do a lot of homework just to make references that make the author confused or question other things than the initial troll comment. Their ways are so vast, it may take me longer than a year to delve deep enough into the mind of the troll just to understand why they do it.

    Great post, I’ll follow along.

    • Lynn
      January 18, 2012

      i can’t imagine why they do it…seems kind of silly to me.

      thanks for following

  7. Julie
    January 18, 2012

    You swore at Jesus ~~~Guuurrl, you’re gonna burn in Hell.

    • Lynn
      January 18, 2012

      really? i don’t think so…

  8. Betty
    January 18, 2012

    Tim Tebow reads blogs?
    Betty recently posted..When I was little, I called it public hair.My Profile

    • Lynn
      January 18, 2012

      hahahaha…BEST COMMENT EVER!!!!

  9. Leigh Ann
    January 18, 2012

    Hahaha, that Tim Tebow comment is awesome. I shamefully admit that I read someone’s blog sometimes because it gives me reasons to be irritated with them. Like validation that they’re still annoying. I know. It’s dumb. But I don’t leave anonymous comments telling them that they suck. Maybe I should. What would Jesus do?
    Leigh Ann recently posted..The one where I emerge as the nerdy old personMy Profile

    • Lynn
      January 18, 2012

      Jesus would leave a comment I think!!!!

  10. cprocton
    January 18, 2012

    so funny…

    • Lynn
      January 18, 2012

      Hey Cathy!!!!

  11. Jules
    January 18, 2012

    I found your blog via The Bloggess, and I popped over here, and this was the first post I read, and I have to tell you…You’re a hoot!

    I am afraid that I am going to have to read more of your blogs! I am learning the hard way that people do some really strange shit on the interwebs, and your buddy Jesus seems to be right on in there like a hair in a biscuit. It’s like they live to hate. Whatevs. ;)
    Jules recently posted..I may be a little slow….My Profile

    • Lynn
      January 18, 2012

      Welcome aboard Jules…I hope you enjoy reading. If not, feel free to comment! Hahaha

  12. Jules
    January 18, 2012

    Thanks, Lynn! I am LOVING it! :)

    Good to read a fellow North Carolinian. With a sense of humor, even. ;)

    • Lynn
      January 18, 2012

      WHere do you live?? I’m in Greensboro

  13. Faith.The Blond.
    January 18, 2012

    What I find MOST funny about this? They bitch that you don’t work, right? Okay…so what? PLUS! They are taking time out of their own oh so busy lives to post the comment.

    So either they, themselves, don’t work, or if the comment was made during working hours, there is the potential that they used their company’s time (when they should probably be doing their own job), resources (company computer and internet connection) and money (they got paid for screwing off), to post the comment.

    Amazing.

    • Lynn
      January 18, 2012

      I didn’t even think about that!!!!

      • Faith.The Blond.
        January 18, 2012

        *shrug* just shows how stupid some peeps can be. Just sayin’.

        • Lynn
          January 18, 2012

          yeah not a shocker

  14. Not Supermom
    January 18, 2012

    Jesus H Tapdancing Christ.

    Some people are idiots.

    It helps to envision the trolls as *actual* trolls. Like, the little ones with the jewel in the belly button and flaming green hair.

    • Lynn
      January 18, 2012

      I used to play with those!!!! Hahahaha

  15. flobits
    January 19, 2012

    Plenty of haters, like this bearded man in sandals :D. Probably he goes in his bathroom, swells up his muscle, roars a “who’s your daddy?”, and gets back to his hating business.
    I bet they were never picked in any team (or they were the left overs) and never sought at hide and seek, the others just played without them.
    Fuckers
    flobits recently posted..Mother of Iventions. And MoreMy Profile

    • Lynn
      January 19, 2012

      yeah…i just make fun of them

  16. stacy
    January 20, 2012

    This post kicks ass! Jesus can suck it! I love the funny stories – Jesus obviously has toooooo much time on his hands. Thanks for making me laugh on a daily basis.

    • Lynn
      January 20, 2012

      Thanks for reading

  17. robin
    January 23, 2012

    Jesus has clearly disengaged from his namesake. I think he needs a time out.

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