In which i’m the good cop

So I thought this was a bit amusing. Here’s the history:

As you know, we’re redoing our screened in porch.

On the porch we have two doors.

Two exteriors doors I should say.

These doors go down two sets of sets.

On our old porch we also had two doors.

They both opened in.

On the new doors one will open in and one will open out.

ALSO: IMPORTANT FACT HERE! KEVIN IS VERY EXACTING!!!

See that fact above?

Remember that.

So they build the doors.

They ask how to hang them: one inswing, one outswing.

Got it?

Okay, so they go get two springs.

They’re white.
Uh oh…Kevin doesn’t like the white. He wants back.
They get two black springs.

They put in the one that swings out.

All good.

BUT… apparently the one on the inswing door is on the outside.

NOOOOOO … Kevin doesn’t like that.

They go get a new spring.

So that spring isn’t on yet but this morning Kevin went out the other door.

“What’s up with this spring?” he asked me.

“I don’t know” I replied.

He doesn’t like it. It’s not like the old spring.
The old spring used to stop at 90 degrees and stay there but on this one you have to press a button to keep it there.

CONVERSATION:

Kevin:             we need to call Todd (our contractor) up and tell him that we don’t love this spring.

Me:                  Rhetorical “we” or “we” as in me.

Kevin:             so it’s not something you want to do

Me:                  you don’t understand. I’m like the good cop

Kevin:             what?

Me:                  yeah, like you’re the dicky one who wants all this shit done and then I come along and sweet talk them into doing what we want ya see?

Kevin:             (laughing) NO … I don’t

Me:                  yeah, it’s like “help me help you.” Like the other day you wanted the rails 4×4 and I knew that would look terrible and after me explaining it would be awful they offered to rip them down to 3×4. I’m the good cop

Kevin:             ok, in that case I guess I’ll make the call

So folks, that’s how you get out of being the dicky one! Also, the spring is fine in the first place.

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