This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which it was a clusterf**k

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Hey guys. So my life has been a clusterfuck AS PER USUAL. Honestly, sometimes I think that it’s just one endless episode of “Punked.” Remember “Punked?”I was a show where somebody played a practical joke on another person. This is what my daily life is like.


Here’s what happened.


So Keely is moving locations in LA. The last time she moved we got her a bit of furniture. Now here in NC if you want furniture, you just go to a furniture store and even though there is plenty of furniture that you can order, there is also plenty of furniture that you can just buy on the spot.


When I went last year, I just assumed (I know, I know) that I could do the same thing. I went to store after store and it was all about a 2-week wait or a 4-week wait and you get the picture. Even something like Crate & Barrel and stuff doesn’t have anything actually for sale that you can just buy and have. I think I spent more time driving around in the car looking for furniture then anything else.


At the time we needed a bed, a couch and a few end tables. This time Keely needs to get a few more things like a futon (for guests) and a kitchen table and chairs. To avoid the hassle, I decided to just order everything online and have it shipped so that we could just get the place together and not have to actually run all over LA.


This makes sense because running all over LA is very time consuming. IT’s a pretty big damn city.


So I got on a website,, and ordered all the stuff that we would need. It’s so easy now because everything seems to be free shipping; even coffee tables and chairs and stuff!


Easy peasy right???


WRONG! First of all, even though I placed one order it turned out to be 5 separate shipments.


Second, Keely doesn’t have a leasing office in her new place therefore there’s nobody there all the time to accept this stuff.


Third, they shipped the shit out so fast that she hadn’t even take possession of the apartment. It says “free shipping” but I didn’t realize that meant it would all be there in two fucking days!”


But most importantly fourth, I PUT IN THE WRONG FUCKING ADDRESS. Yeah, that happened. I didn’t know until I got a FEDEX message saying, “building not found.” I obviously was in a panic and sure enough, the address was 1284 and I had put in 1274. I couldn’t believe it (I could sort of) because I thought I was being careful.


I said to Kevin, “maybe it was Keely who gave me the wrong address” and he said, “With your history I’m positive it was you.”


No matter who fucked up I called FEDEX with 5 tracking numbers and was told that I couldn’t do anything beaus I was a “third party.” So basically, even though I bought it I wasn’t the shipper OR the receiver. What a mess.


I then had to call the store that I bought it from, and by the way, getting through to a human is NEVER easy.


So I had to call that store, Macy’s (this was a huge mess because getting to an actually human was virtually impossible), UPS and tracking it down took all day. So far one order has actually gotten there and a bunch of other things are floating around.


Anyways, last night I checked my text thread and it was actually KEELY who screwed up. She sent me 1274 so at least she can’t get mad at me.


Nonetheless, the entire thing has been a pain in the ass because they all want to talk to Keely who has a JOB in the daytime and can’t answer the phone.


Hopefully this shit will be resolved before I get there. The entire idea was to have everything there before I arrived.


Oh well… wish me luck

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  1. Ro
    February 8, 2016

    Good luck talking to real humans when you call these companies. It is much harder to yell at computers when shit goes wrong.

    • Lynn
      February 14, 2016

      It’s also more difficult to clear shit up

  2. Theresa
    February 8, 2016

    In other news, I think you might be the best mom EVER!

    • Lynn
      February 14, 2016

      I agree :))

  3. chacha1
    February 11, 2016

    Good luck with the clusterf**k. Furniture delivery, oy – It’s a headache at the best of times.

  4. Hazel
    March 6, 2016

    “So my life has been a clusterfuck AS PER USUAL.”

    HAHAHAHAHA I don’t know you at all, and I already like you. That should be a bumper sticker or something. Life is messy.

    I love your blog. Thanks for giving me a chance to laugh at life’s ridiculousness.

    • Lynn
      March 9, 2016

      my pleasure and welcome aboard

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