This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
So since there is nothing in the entire world that I’m not capable of, the other day I decided to take the garbage up to the street. Monday was both a GREEN and a BROWN can day, which means that it’s both garbage and recycling.
This is a pretty riveting tale thus far isn’t it? I went out to the driveway and I grabbed the green can and then I took a step and reached for the brown can. As I swiveled the brown can around I realized that I was stepping on something squishy. I looked down and there was a Copperhead (that’s a snake folks … a poisonous snake no less) under my foot.
Did I mention that I had flip-flops on? Yeah, I had flip-flops on and I totally screamed, dropped the cans and ran away. Andie was out with Tucker and we all went in the house and I was totally freaked out and of course, it’s Kevin’s job to deal with snakes, not mine!
So Kevin was in the shower but I told him to get the hell out of there and go deal with the snake. He insisted he dry off and I went outside and the stupid snake was sitting right there like he was the one that was shocked. Yes, I took a picture.
Eventually Kevin went out and the snake had disappeared OR HAD IT?? Nope, it was back under the garbage can. Kevin moved the can and killed the snake and then the goddamn thing wriggled forever and I was completely nauseous and did I tell you I fucking hate snakes???
I do and I was like “are you sure it’s dead?” and Kevin said “the head isn’t attached to the body” but the stupid head AND the stupid body were wiggling and it was disgusting and then we went inside and confirmed it was a copperhead (by Google people … GOOGLE) and then I guess we were happy that it didn’t bite me but seriously, I don’t like snakes.
You’re lucky I’m still alive people!!