This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
One of my favorite all time The Far Side comics is “how the dinosaurs became extinct.” I’m sure you’ve seen it and if you haven’t here it is:
When the kids were younger the family across the street had that Far Side cartoon on their refrigerator. Since Keely was best friends with their daughter, Sam, she was over there a LOT.
One time, Keely and I were at a mall or somewhere like that where there’s a food court and she turned to me and said:
Keely: do you know how the dinosaurs became extinct?
Keely: they smoked cigarettes
I’ll never forget it because Keely was young and she couldn’t read and she certainly didn’t know what a cigarette was but somehow that cartoon had been explained to her. It still makes me laugh today.
Yesterday, I had Rose (my niece who’s 5 ½ years old) come over for the afternoon. When I picked her up she told me that she had a big to-do list for the day. I asked her what is was and she told me that she would a) play with the tea sets (Keely has these mini tea sets in her room and Rose loves them), play with PlayMobile, bake cookies and then we’d watch Pocahontas 2.
I figured that she must be planning on moving in since there was no way to get all that done in just a few hours but wisely, I refrained from commenting.
Then we got home and she went outside to play, which was NOT on our limited agenda, but it did enable me to talk on the phone with Andie while Rose built a “nature garden” on my porch. This consisted of some wood blocks (long explanation), my coasters (you do know what they are don’t you?), some hydrangea flowers (which she picked), a metal lizard (decoration thingie) and some mini pine cones which I had.
Of course, someone neglected to tell Cinder (the kitten) that this nature garden was NOT A TOY because she basically kept knocking it down while Rose lectured her. By the way, Rose’s lecture didn’t do any more good then my lectures to this kitten do.
After a while Rose was ready to move to the tea sets, which the kitten also kept knocking over, and stuff. When we were eventually playing PlayMobile her mom said she would probably come soon and I informed Rose that we were WAY behind schedule and had NOT even made cookie batter (which essentially is the only point of cookies amiright????)
We went downstairs and made batter and I was trying to explain the difference between flour and sugar without putting my hands in either although Rose put her hands in both. Needless to say, it was messy but damn … that batter is good.
Then we got to talking about all the things she hadn’t done yet. You know, like drive, go to college, meet dinosaurs, etc. when she asked me:
“Aunt Lynn, do you know how the dinosaurs got extinct?”
Well of course, I thought this was a trick question because SEE THE FIRST STORY IN THIS POST!!!! I said “yeah, smoking” and then she was disgusted with me because the answer was apparently, “no Aunt Lynn, a meteor.”
Then later we were discussing how much fun going to the kids club was going to be at Christmas when she is on holiday with her parents and that conversation was so epic I had to tweet it.
Me: you’re going to love the kids club. You won’t have to go to boring stuff with your parents and you’ll make a lot of new friends there.
Rose: I don’t want to make friends
Me: why not?
Rose: I don’t want to get burnt out
And then I basically died … because WTF??
So that was my day …. Heh heh