This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
Lately I haven’t had my shit together at all and when I say at all I mean AT ALL. Here’s some examples:
Last Thursday was Thanksgiving. Well, at least it was in this house. I had to get up and get to work on all the turkey and stuffing whatnot when Kevin said something to me.
Kevin: what can I do to help?
Me: you can make me coffee
Kevin: (getting out the coffee from the freezer) Do you realize that this coffee is decaf?
Me: no it’s not
Kevin: yes it is. 2 out of 3 of these coffees in here are decaf
Me: I’m pretty sure theres only 1 decaf in there. It’s separated from the others
Kevin: this says decaf
(and so I look at it and sure enough it’s decaf)
Me: Well that certainly explains it
Kevin: explains what?
Me: I thought I had lost my mojo but in fact, I’ve been drinking decaf for weeks
Kevin: you must be the least observant person on earth
Then yesterday, I was looking for these plane reservations that I made to go to Connecticut.
Kevin: Lynn, where are those reservations?
Me: I’m looking!
And I am but for some reason they’re not in my travel folder and they’re not in the Charitybuzz folder (which is the reason for the trip) and they’re not under any of my emails and I’m starting to panic. Shit! I KNOW I made reservations. I remember making them but where the fuck are the reservations? So I figure I’ll check Travelocity but NOPE, I guess I didn’t make them with Travelocity.
So I check USAir but I can’t get in. My account isn’t working so I have to have my account name sent to me. So I get that and try to log in but NOPE, my password isn’t working and all the while I have Kevin asking for the damn reservations (he had to get a rental car). By now, I’m starting to freak a little because SHIT, this is bad, but finally I get on USAir and voila!!! There’s the reservations. PROFOUND RELIEF.
Of course, I had to ask Kevin “why would he ever doubt me?” hahahaha
And last, but not least, Keely harassed us all into going to Wreck it Ralph. So I look at Flixster and we decide to go to the 4:25 show so we get in the car and drive up to the movie theather.
At the window, Kevin says 5 for the 4:25 and she says, we only have a 4:45. Meanwhile, it’s 4:20 so that’s quite a wait and the kicker is that Kevin was watching football and I made him leave in the middle of a big play.
We get into the theatre and Kevin is bitching about being 25 minutes early and I say:
Me: I don’t know why you guys ever listen to me
Andie: yeah, why do we ever listen to mom?
Keely: I told you it was at 4:45
Me: no you didn’t
Keely: I said we didn’t need to leave yet
Me: why don’t people constantly verify everything
Kevin: you screw everything up
Daniel: I believe in you mom
Me: Daniel, you’re my favorite
Keely: I’m the most important kid
Andie: I’m the heart and soul
Kevin: I missed the game for this?
So there you are. It’s a pretty typical scenario for us and a valid question. Why does my family NOT check up on the details before we do stuff.