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In which it was Moron Day at Starbucks

coffeespill

The other day Kevin and I were at Starbucks.  Our typical weekend routine is to get up and work out and then go have a cup of coffee (Kevin has a muffin or something but I’m trying to lose weight here folks!) and if it’s nice, sit outside.

 

So we’re sitting outside and I swear to god, it was like idiot driver’s day at Starbucks.  This particular one has a ONE WAY traffic pattern around it.  You pull into the main entrance and you go right and there’s parking on two sides and then you circle back around and there’s an exit.

 

Now that seems pretty simple right? I mean, they have HUGE arrows drawn and all and even the dumbest person on earth should be able to follow.  To make matters even easier ALL the parking spaces are angled so that you can just pull in without even thinking.  Then, in most cases, you’d just back out right?

 

First, some person decides that circling the building is too much effort so they do a billion point turn to go the opposite direction and go out the entrance.  So we watch while they back out and turn, and pull forward and turn, and back out and turn, and pull forward and turn.

 

All the while we’re waiting for someone to pull in and have some sort of OK Corral situation but the moron in the Jeep makes it out.

 

Then someone else pulls in and literally instead of going right they go straight, which is basically one way in the opposite direction.  WTF?

 

Meanwhile, somebody else is trying to figure out how to park and can’t seem to make it into this massive parking space.

 

I’m waiting to hear a collision in the back when someone pulls around laughing because apparently they just avoided the moron going backwards.

 

I was wondering if it was “half off of coffee for low IQ people day” but Kevin and I decided that perhaps we should get the hell out of there before someone actually either crashed into my car or ran over the table we were sitting at.

 

Today we were there and everyone seemed to be going in the proper direction so I’m really not sure what occurred yesterday.  Thought you’d want to know.

 

You’re welcome …

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3 Comments

  1. Julie
    September 24, 2014

    “Half off coffee for low IQ people day” ~ ~ I am STILL laughing!
    Thanks, I needed a giggle.

    • Lynn
      September 26, 2014

      my pleasure

  2. The Funny Nanny
    September 26, 2014

    The thing I love the most about your website is how it makes me feel I can be blunt and say fuck and asshole and all those nice words I adore but shouldn’t if I want to keep my job. Thank you for inspiration!

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