This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which it’s a problem being me

One of the problems with being me, and trust me there are a LOT of problems with being me, is that I have all these fantastic ideas, epiphanies as you will, and then I forget them.

 

For example, I decided I would have a testimonial section down on the bottom of my blog.  I came up with this incredibly funny testimonial to put down there.  The only problem is that I needed to “create” the testimonial.  So, I downloaded the Photoshop app and put it on my computer to begin and I realized I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE HOW TO DO THIS.

 

Now I see people of lesser intelligence than I using Photoshop but it just looked like the type of thing I was going to have to read the directions for and there’s no way that I’m going to start reading directions at age 52 so very frankly I’m stymied.  I guess if you want to do me a favor you could email me and I could tell you what I wanted.

 

Mostly what I want is to be able to take pictures and put captions and write shit all over it like I see EVERYONE else doing.  It doesn’t look all that difficult but then, nothing ever does until you try it right?  Throw in the fact that I’m incredibly impatient so that if I don’t get it immediately, I move on, and you have quite the setup for extreme frustration.

 

At any rate, I can’t even remember the reason I started writing this post.  See what I mean on what a hassle it is to be me?

 

So I have a lot of clever ideas on how to keep the blog fresh (for you) and fun (for me) but then I realize that it will take WORK to actually accomplish what I want to accomplish and I don’t really like work so then nothing gets done.  Eventually I forget the idea anyways but then I have ANOTHER idea and I go through the exact same process.  Now that I think about it, my brain is like a hamster on a wheel.

 

I don’t actually think that’s such a good thing.  This morning in Pilates I was explaining to my instructor that I usually aspire to mediocrity.  I’m actually good enough at most stuff to reach mediocrity quite rapidly therefore I don’t really have to expend much energy … EVER.

 

Of course, she was saying that it really wasn’t such a good thing to be that way in Pilates because then I don’t work very hard and I will never improve.  IMPROVE? How could I be better?  And even more importantly, WHY would I want to be better?  I would like my body to look better because I’ve gained about 10 pounds but just thinking about it makes me stressed out so isn’t it easier just to do nothing?

 

That was rhetorical.  Don’t answer.  At any rate, I’m really not sure where all this is going.  So far today I’ve worked out and then spent a lot of time working on my “Whatever mom” column and setting up my “go ahead, amuse me” concept.  What’s astonishing is that I actually thought all this would be less time consuming but it’s actually proving to take even MORE time than if I just wrote all the damn stuff myself.

 

You see, the writing is the easy part.  It’s the entire posting and tagging and finding pictures and adding links and all that other crap that takes time.  See all the shit I do for you folks out there?

 

In other news, I have found the most hilarious person.  POSSIBLY EVEN FUNNIER THAN ME… I know right? IMPOSSIBLE you say?  Well, at least on paper that seems to be the case.  Doubtful if in real life that she could sustain it more than me (or is that I?)   Actually, even her writing style is similar to mine.  You’ll see.  She’s coming up in October.

 

Okay, this is one of the most rambling posts I’ve ever written and I’ve written a LOT of rambling posts.  Just thought you’d like to know what I’m up to.  Or what I’m not up to.  Or what I’m trying to be up to and not accomplishing.  Which of course, is all perfect for my aspiration of mediocrity.

 

I’m just saying … or in this case, not saying

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24 Comments

  1. By Word of Mouth Musings
    October 10, 2011

    and on another note – lovely to have you back …
    now go and read my mortifying post of the day ;)
    it should definitely amuse you …

    • Lynn
      October 10, 2011

      Just picked up my pets. Got some stuff to do and then I will

  2. Grammy@gram-cracker.com
    October 10, 2011

    And here I thought it was just me who aspired to doing nothing in a not particullarly accomplished fashion. Hmmmm…I say Mediocridites Unite!!! (Wha?? that’s totally a word. Just don’t google it. Google and Webster are so lame) We could start a club but none of us would aspire to get dressed and attend meetings so it would have to be PJ friendly. And no Skyping cuz I can’t figure that shit out and I CANNOT throw another laptop across the room. And no raising the bar and actually accomplishing anything either cuz that’s just rude…

    PS…I’m totally impressed that you showed up for Pilates class. Overachiever…

    • Lynn
      October 10, 2011

      Yeah…I do work out daily…but I’m not a big girls club gal so nope on that

  3. Dana Strange
    October 10, 2011

    Who has time to read directions for anything? (Even if I did, I wouldn’t spend it on something as boring as reading directions, so I know where you’re coming from). Just go to Piknik.com and you can do all that cool editing you want for free and it’s a total piece of cake. You don’t need to read a single direction. Trust me.

    • Lynn
      October 10, 2011

      I will check it out…I did figure my testimonial out though

  4. MrsDzo
    October 10, 2011

    Love the aspiring to mediocrity. I look in the mirror each morning and think, “as little as possible.”
    MrsDzo recently posted..Hard Knocked LifeMy Profile

    • Lynn
      October 10, 2011

      Hahaha…kinda sad but funny

  5. Dorothy
    October 10, 2011

    I agree. What’s up with that? Trying to show us up??
    I bought my own yoga cds several years ago on ebay so I could “do” yoga at home without being embarrassed by all the grunts and whines (mine). Yoga is slower and easier, so I thought. I used them for about a month and I sure didn’t push myself like they do in class. Grunt, ow, ow, damn that hurts….nope…not doing that pose…or that…or that…..definitely not doing that one. I’ll just skip this part…and this part…..
    Yeah, so they sit on the shelf gathering dust. And I think about doing them, maybe tomorrow. I should be in great shape with all the thinking I do about exercising!

    Jack of all trades, master of none! That’s me. Yay. Go Mediocridites!

    • Lynn
      October 10, 2011

      Can’t work out at home. I have a gym here and I’ve tried. I can’t imagine what I’d look like if I never worked out…uggghhhh

  6. Luda
    October 10, 2011

    Photoshop’s not as simple as it looks. I taught myself how to use it (sort of) and I still only know how to use the most basic of tools in that program. That being said, it’s not difficult to add captions to photos and that sort of thing. If you want a basic tutorial, shoot me an e-mail.

    • Lynn
      October 10, 2011

      I sorta figured that part out and got my testimonial up there

  7. Pamela D Hart
    October 10, 2011

    Funnier than you? Now you’re lying!

    Hamsters on wheels are cute. They have such a simple life. Going round and round…I can’t watch long, I get dizzy.

    ;-)
    Pamela D Hart recently posted..My Date Application Was Rejected!My Profile

    • Lynn
      October 10, 2011

      Certainly she’s funnier than me in emails.

  8. Suzy
    October 10, 2011

    I would have to live an extra 2 years to deal with Photoshop. So I use picnik.com. I figured it out in about 15 minutes. Anyway, it’s free.

    • Lynn
      October 10, 2011

      thanks…i’m going to check it out

  9. mark @ yelling near you
    October 10, 2011

    I’ve had photoshop for about 10 years and I still don’t feel like a savvy user. I know how to do what I want but when I see someone who knows what they’re doing use it I’m all – “holy shit, I’m such a photoshop noob.” I have no idea what your setup includes, but if you’re on a Mac give Skitch (skitch.com) a try – it’s free, rather robust and will do all of the things you listed. It also allows easy screenshots. If you’re still struggling and can’t figure it out, email me.
    mark @ yelling near you recently posted..Gobble, GobbleMy Profile

    • Lynn
      October 10, 2011

      Thanks…I’ll check it out

  10. @btchygirls
    October 10, 2011

    Well fuck,at least you went to pilates.
    Annnnd…you did not find the funniest person, you already know her!
    ;0
    and htf do u get it to say what i recently posted. no patience either.
    xoxo

    • Lynn
      October 11, 2011

      use that commentlove thing…do you have an acct? are you saying you’re the funniest person i know?

  11. Stephanie
    October 11, 2011

    So I started a blog all of about 2 weeks ago. It came on top of a lot of pain medication and sitting on my ass due to shoulder surgery. Since immersing myself in the blog world and becoming a newbie even to twitter, I have read SO many. One leads to another and you like one and fall into another from a blog roll and before you know it, a lot of them seem to run together.

    I think I found yours on theblogess, I don’t know but it has stuck. Whether this puts a feather in your cap or not, it should. I was afraid first to comment because I have a disclaimer on mine thst ends in “just sayin….” but I realized that I wrote that before I knew of you and a compliment would probably still be nice.

    Maybe everyone reads a gazillion blogs a day but I don’t have time so now that I am narrowing down the list, I am happy to have found yours, I really enjoy it., for what it’s worth… Maybe I should change my “just saying to for what it’s worth….”

    Big fat BTW, this was supposed to go to you in your contact screen and that f’ing code thingy at the bottom kept kicking me out so here you go. Took too damn long one handed to lose it…

    Thanks, stay funny,
    Stephanie , The Countrified Urbanite
    Stephanie recently posted..Weekend Update from The Gates of HillMy Profile

    • Lynn
      October 12, 2011

      why thank you…everybody says just saying so don’t worry about it. I am going to have somebody do a post on “go ahead, amuse me” who’s style is so, so similar to mine. It happens. No big deal.
      I had shoulder surgery 8 years ago…what a hassle but stick out the rehab and you’ll be fine.

      Thanks for commenting. Love new peeps!!!!!

  12. OldDogNewTits
    October 12, 2011

    Hey, Lynn. Like Stephanie, I also found you via the Bloggess and am new to the blogging game. Nearly two months in and enjoying the hell out of it. And trying to convince my family how and why I am suddenly working harder on this stuff (for no pay) than anything else. Suffice it to say, there’s been a lot of Hot Pockets and Easy Mac packaging in my trash. Anyway, love your blog and welcome you to come visit whenever at http://www.olddognewtits.com. I think there’s some leftover pie in the fridge. Help yourself. And, if you call first, I’ll try to be out of my robe with brushed teeth. No promises. I said try. :)
    OldDogNewTits recently posted..Let the voting begin! And then there were two …My Profile

    • Lynn
      October 12, 2011

      Well first welcome. I’ll check your blog out but the truth is I suck about reading blogs. I’m all bipolar and I’ll read some and then stop.

      Blogging can be fun …. Especially if you don’t take it too seriously. It’s also pretty competitive which is bullshit…

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