This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which it’s August 16th

Today is August 16th.  Last year on the same day it was also August 16th.  This is relevant to my post and you’ll see if you just calm down.

 

Last spring (2010) I decided to write a book

Last spring I decided to write the book about me; sort of autobiographical I suppose

Last spring I asked Keely to write the book. She said no

Last spring I asked Andie to write the book. She also said no

Last spring I didn’t ask Daniel to write the book

Last spring I came up with a title to my book which was “Good Enough: The Chronicles of an Underachiever”

Last spring I told Keely and Andie the title to my book

Last spring I once again asked them to write the book. They both said no AGAIN

Last spring I asked them “why not?” and they said they were in college and “too busy” and suggested I write my autobiography myself

Last spring I explained I didn’t know how to write and I sulked

Last summer my cousin suggested I start a blog for my “stories” I had written down

Last summer I remember I HAD a blog and it was called “All Fooked Up”

Last summer I decided to start a blog and I wrote a post entitled “in which I declared my intention”

Last spring I included this conversation in my post:

This came about from a hilarious conversation in which we were discussing our mani/pedi from the day before.

Keely:         So my manicurist asked if I was okay and I said why wouldn’t I be. She replied that she had never heard a mother be so mean to her child before. I told her that’s how my mom was and it didn’t bother me.

Me:             All I said was that my toes were much prettier than yours and how the hell do you manage to walk on such stubby toes?

Keely:         Well, you also told me to stop being selfish by picking out my own nail color and to help you. When I didn’t, you made some random stranger help you.

Me:             Isn’t that normal?

Last summer I decided to start including conversations in my posts

Last summer no one read my blog even though I endlessly harassed everyone to read my blog

Last summer nobody cared and I whined about this fact

Last fall I went to Converge South

Last fall I learned about SEO and Twitter and Facebook at Converge South

Last fall at Converge South I learned my business card sucked

Last fall at Converge South I learned my blog design sucked

Last fall at Converge South I learned I didn’t know shit

Last fall at Converge South I learned being successful was hard

Last fall at Converge South I thought about quitting until my kids told me that I would quit and that I quit EVERYTHING

Last fall that totally pissed me off and I vowed to stay the course 6 months just to spite them

Last fall I was getting bored with blogging

Last fall my shrink told me that I wasn’t bored; that was anxiety

Last fall I fired my shrink

Last fall I decided my blog wasn’t pretty

Last fall I decided to have my blog made pretty for my Christmas present

Last winter I got my pretty new blog and I was happy

Last winter I decided now that I had spent money I should blog one year instead of six months

Last winter I had a few more followers although still very few

Last winter I whined about a lack of followers

Last winter my kids hated my blog and told me to shut up

Last winter I went to BlissDom and made some friends

Last winter at BlissDom I realized that making your blog bigger and better required copious amounts of work

Last winter at BlissDom I realized I wasn’t capable of copious amounts of work and should rely on my charm and good looks

Last winter that didn’t get me very far

Last winter I still had few followers

Last winter I once again whined about a lack of followers

This past spring (2011) I was proud of myself for staying the course

This past spring my kids blocked my stream on Facebook and pronounced me annoying

This past spring my kids admitted that they were “surprised I was still blogging” and that they still hated my blog

This past spring I started getting a few more followers

This past spring I started to enjoy myself and couldn’t stop talking about my blog

This past spring my kids told me to never mention my blog again

This past spring I offered to be the Keynote speaker at BlogHer

This past spring BlogHer rejected my offer

This past spring Keely told me to quit blogging and “write the damn book”

This past spring I disinherited Keely

This summer I went up to Type A parent conference and discovered mojitos

This summer I had loads of fun at the conference (possibly due to the mojitos…and beer…and wine)

This summer I made MORE friends at the conference

This summer I had more followers

This summer I applied to be a Voice of the Year at BlogHer

This summer BlogHer once again rejected me

This summer I rejected BlogHer’s rejection online but went to BlogHer anyways

This summer at BlogHer I rediscovered margaritas

This summer at BlogHer I went to a session on blog design

This summer I realized I needed to tweak my blog

This summer I realized that I only had one goal and I had almost reached it

… and when did I reach this goal?  TODAY!!! August 16th, 2011 is my one-year anniversary of blogging.

 

Last week I had 22,000 page views.  The entire situation is absurd because I barely have any followers.  I don’t know what it means because the entire blog isn’t monetized and most of the views are random StumbleUpon people.

 

So people?  I DID IT!!!!  I said I’d make it one year and there were a LOT of doubters (especially in this household).  So what now?  I have no idea but if you want me to continue, perhaps a few more followers and some positive feedback would be appropriate.  After all, it’s not like the book is getting written and as far as I can see, reading this blog is free.

 

I’m just saying …

 

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48 Comments

  1. Lady Estrogen
    August 16, 2011

    Yeah!! Congrats on your one year :)

    Disinherited Keely. LOL.

    I’ll have to get my act together and attend one of those thingymajiggies – if not for nothing else but the mojitos.

    We shall see.
    Lady Estrogen recently posted..Because God Has A PenisMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      Thanks…yeah, every time i attend one i drink WAY, WAY more than usual and yet i see to have loads of fun as well!!!

      Don’t know when the next one I’m going to is. Gotta get a kid into college this year! I’ve met swell people like YOU!

  2. Nicole
    August 16, 2011

    I am so glad to read this. I have just started blogging myself and it is great to read about sticking with it and setting goals. I don’t know if anyone will want to read my blog or relate, but I will keep putting it (and myself) out there and see what happens. Thanks!

    Also in NC
    The Kidless Kronicles

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      I started and had NO idea what i was doing. I’ve tried to keep it fun. Not sure what i’ll do going forward now but i suppose i’ll play it by ear.

  3. Vinobaby
    August 16, 2011

    22,000 page views? Holy Crap, that’s not small. That’s more page views than I’ve had, uhm like ever. You are going for the 22,000 a day, right? Maybe I need to rediscover margaritas. Congrats on so much progress in a year. Cheers.

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      22,000 a day. hahaha…that was just one week. I have no idea what the Stumble stuff means and if it even counts. Without that traffic, i have fewer visitors. But, i will keep on plodding along…at least for a while.

  4. By Word of Mouth Musings
    August 16, 2011

    Oh you know you are not giving up, its in your blood to meet me at these conference things … and it would be so out of my way to have to come via your house and drag your *ss with me.
    Happy Blogoversary – deep inside your kids are proud ;)
    By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Time Travel Tuesday. Pity Party for One.My Profile

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      deep inside my kids said they were making fun of this post and they said “great mom, now you can quit!”

  5. KLZ
    August 16, 2011

    I greatly appreciate that through it all, you can count on your kids to hate your blog. I look forward to that when my kids grow up. Sorta.

    Happy one year – it’s been a big one.

    Now write a book.
    KLZ recently posted..BabyInsanity Gender QuizMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      hahaha…yeah, you have LOTS of shit to look forward to. LOTS!!

  6. cathy procton
    August 16, 2011

    well done! congratulations!

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      thanks

  7. Katja Brown
    August 16, 2011

    Congratulations on the one year anniversary of your blog!

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      thanks…i appreciate it Katja

  8. Kristin @ What She Said
    August 16, 2011

    Congratulations! It’s blogoversary week around ye old blogosphere – I just celebrated mine and so did @MamasMonologues. Although I have never seen 22,000 pageviews.

    Wow.

    I’m actually a little speechless. That hardly ever happens.

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      dumb luck…nothing to do with me i’m pretty sure. Just got stumbled every day for a week

  9. Julie
    August 16, 2011

    I love your blog ~ please keep it going, even if just for me! Your kids feelings towards your blog (because I like to twist things to make ME feel superior) further deepen my contempt for Duke. Do people there know nothing??!! This blog is kick ass.

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      you Kentucky fans. So embittered!! Duke is a GREAT school…i’m not quitting. Might not do 5 days/week though

  10. Kelly
    August 16, 2011

    I am finally on my computer and hopefully my comment will stick!! :)

    Congrats on 1 year!! My kids have a love/hate relationship with my blog. I think it would be so much easier if they chose one or the other…it’s driving me crazy! :)

    You have to keep blogging…and writing…and sharing…I would miss you too much.

    And 20,000 pg views? HOLY SH*! That is AWESOME! :)

    xoxoxo

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      it was that week we were in California. That Hertz thing got about 5000 pageviews by itself. It’s not me…i love you

  11. Theresa
    August 16, 2011

    Happy anniversary!! I am such a huge fan of yours! Yours is the first blog I read each morning, and I do hope you write a book. I would be the first in line to buy it! Lucille Ball is my all time hero.. (have you ever read her bio?) and your antics remind me so much of hers lol! But you have to promise, even if you do write a book, you have to keep the blog going!!!

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      wow…thanks. I’m not quitting. I just gotta figure out some balance so i can start sculpting again. Lucille Ball was a nut. She was amazing. Thanks for the comparison

  12. Margaret
    August 16, 2011

    Cheers to a year of blogging! I love seeing your posts in my feed reader, and look forward to them daily!

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      thanks…i appreciate the love!

  13. Amy
    August 16, 2011

    Congratulations! Impressive achievement for an impressive lady.

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      thank you…when are you starting your blog?

  14. Sarah
    August 16, 2011

    Wow, still here!! (jk)

    I’m impressed you went to all those blog gatherings. I can’t be arsed to go to one, not even with the lure of unlimited mojitos. Mind you, I’m not sure there’s a gathering for expats in France bloggers, so I don’t really have to worry about missing out. Phew.

    Happy one-year blog-iversary.
    Sarah recently posted..You Can Lead a Duck to WaterMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      Thanks girl! I have enjoyed meeting new people. Not that i like ALL of them but i like enough to make it worthwhile

  15. Glenn
    August 16, 2011

    Congratulations Lynn. I always look forward to reading Allfookedup as I eat my lunch each day. Please keep it up. When you are on that talk show as a guest one day, I can say I “knew her when.” Again, CONGRATS!

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      lately i haven’t been thinking about the talk show guest thing…i’m pretty ADD i guess

  16. Tammi
    August 16, 2011

    Happy Anniversary!! I have never left a comment before, but I love your blog!! If I knew how to subscribe or what a feed reader was, I would do it! Unfortunately I don’t have a clue. So I am just happy to have stumbled upon you and saved you in my favorites!!!

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      ok, on the front page (which you get to from the HOME button), enter your email address on the right. You will eventually get a confirmation email and then you’ll get it daily in your email! Thanks for the comment

  17. Vapid Vixen
    August 16, 2011

    Hooray for manipulative children who tricked you into not quitting so that the rest of us can get a laugh from your posts. Thanks kids!!!

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      i told them today and Andie said “that never happened.” I never liked Andie

  18. Jana A
    August 16, 2011

    Woohoo! YAY for your one year anniversary! Keep on rockin and get that book going!

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      Thanks for being so supportive

  19. Krazy Kris
    August 16, 2011

    baby steps…I just started following you and think you are HILARIOUS. I tried to start a blog but realized I need a life first in order to be interesting. ROCK ON!!!

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      I feel confident your life is interesting. It’s just how you describe the little things. And thank you

  20. vodkamom
    August 16, 2011

    CHAMPAGNE for EVERYONE!!!!!!!

    • Lynn
      August 16, 2011

      Wait! Am I treating? Hahahaha…I see you got my tweet…i mean invitation

  21. RCB
    August 17, 2011

    Well, so what if you barely have any followers? 22,000 in one year is pretty good going! Congratulations, Lynn. May they all put a sock in it next time you tell them you’ve got a great idea and you’re gonna make it :)
    RCB recently posted..Mass Murderers Have Rights, Too?My Profile

  22. nana1603
    August 18, 2011

    Yay! You didn;t quit! I;m one of the “stumble upon” readers and you’ve had me hooked ever since! I’d subscribe, but, ummmm don’t know how and don’t have a blog. But I’m loyal!

    • Lynn
      August 18, 2011

      why thank you…i love the people from StumbleUpon although i have no idea how the posts actually get stumbled. Haven’t quit. Not quitting yet. Might do less than 5 days eventually though. WELCOME

  23. Congrats!
    August 19, 2011

    I just heard about you. Really funny! (Mary V’s sister…the 1- 900 girl)

  24. Leigh Ann
    August 21, 2011

    “Last winter that didn’t get me very far.” Ha!

    Happy blogoversary. When I started reading you last spring/late winter, I totally thought you were hot shit. I still do.

    • Lynn
      August 21, 2011

      Hahaha…funny

  25. Robin
    August 22, 2011

    Whoooo, hooooo! Congrats! I knew you could do it! Lots of love!

    • Lynn
      August 22, 2011

      Are you still alive? I wasn’t sure! And thanks…

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