This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
In which it’s NOT the Vatican
Last October, I started bitching at Daniel about how messy his room was. Now when I grew up (boy do my kids hate that statement) I had to keep my room immaculate. I didn’t really mind because I’m a person who hates clutter and I’m a little OCD about things being neat anyways but my little brother was a SLOB so he rarely did as asked, was always in trouble, and basically drove my mom crazy.
I’ll never forget the day before he was to go to college. His room looked like it had been destroyed by a nuclear device and my mother was hysterical saying “he’ll never get packed” and “how will this work” and other assorted ridiculous statements. At the time, being 20 myself and completely grown up (hahaha) I told my mom “look mom, if he gets to college and doesn’t have all his stuff that’s HIS problem so why don’t you just chill and not worry about it.”
At any rate, both of them survived his leaving (although my mom has long since passed) and honestly, he’s still a slob. So I was bitching at Daniel and he was all like “Mom, I have 4 AP courses and college applications and I DON’T HAVE TIME” so I decided that I would step back.
And so I did. Now however, it’s Christmas break and there is NO SCHOOL and he has FINISHED his college applications and I wanted the place clean.
Me: Daniel, clean up your room.
Daniel: my room is fine
Me: your room is a disgrace
Daniel: I don’t see what the problem is
Me: the problem is that Carol (who cleans my house) can’t EVEN vacuum anymore in there because there’s shit all over the floor
Daniel: no there’s not
Me: … and not only that but the desk is covered with stuff and it has a film of dust on it
Daniel: mom, you’re exaggerating
Me: clean up your damn room
Daniel: it’s MY room. The door is always closed so who cares?
Me: it’s MY house and I care and I don’t give a shit about what you think
Andie: why do you care mom?
Me: Andie, who asked you?
Andie: I mean why do you care what our room looks like?
Me: you’re a slob too but at least you go to college
Andie: Mom, it’s like the Vatican
Me: oh, this should be good
Andie: I mean, the Vatican is in ITALY but it’s an entirely separate entity
Me: that’s some serious bullshit and a stupid analogy
Daniel: yeah, Andie’s right…it’s just like the Vatican
Me: really? Because I’m pretty sure that Italy doesn’t pay for the Vatican’s tuition… and I’m pretty damn sure that Italy doesn’t FEED and CLOTHE the Vatican and I’m pretty sure that the Vatican’s car isn’t OWNED BY ITALY
Andie: (silence)
Daniel: (not quite as shrewd and still arguing the Vatican angle) Mom, I don’t see why it matters.
Me: IT MATTERS TO ME! This place is a mess and I can’t take it
Daniel: Well, it’s stupid
Me: Well, if it’s not cleaned by this weekend you CAN’T go out for New Years Eve (I have never grounded a child EVER yet)
Daniel: You can’t stop me
Me: Really? Why don’t you give that a try?
Andie: Mom, you can never stay mad
Me: I’m not mad. I’m just determined.
Later Daniel asked me why I was so stubborn on all this as I was bitching about all the crap up in the BONUS room where the kids hang out and I explained the following to him.
“When you are the only person here with Dad and I and you leave the occasional thing out, I can just pick up your shoes or your plate or your jacket and put it away. With ALL three of you home it’s 5 pairs of shoes and 4 jackets and there’s tons of dishes in the sink that NEVER make it to the dishwasher and for WHATEVER reason it DRIVES ME UP THE FUCKING WALL and I don’t like it. Therefore, PICK UP YOUR SHIT!!!”
Long story short. After bitching at him he went up stairs and cleaned his room. It didn’t pass muster. Then he re-cleaned it. It didn’t pass muster. Then his father (who was in a sling from surgery) went up there with him and told him what to do and FINALLY, I let him go out.
I look at my kids and they’re terrific kids who are nice, polite and do well academically but sometimes, SOMETIMES I regret the choice of not making them do more chores when they were growing up. I tried but between school, homework and extracurricular activities my thoughts were that these kids were working their asses off and deserved some downtime.
However, when I grew up I was made to weed our gardens. I hated it. I only did it when forced but when I had my own gardens, I weeded. BECAUSE I CARED. BECAUSE THEY WERE MY GARDENS. So, I think that when they have their own apartments and homes they’ll be a little more vigilant about these things. If not, who cares. I mean I won’t live there.
I’m just saying …
Follow Me
Subscribe by Email
Categories
Recent articles
- Favorite posts25 Jun 2020
- In which i discuss gym etiquette — repost30 Dec 2018
- In which I’m a fish whisperer19 Oct 2016
- In which i have a political opinion30 Sep 2016
- In which I almost forgot my moms birthday09 Sep 2016
Follow All Fooked Up
Search
All Fooked Up Store
Testimonials
Lynn MacDonald Art
Good for you for standing your ground! I bet when he has his own house, he keeps it clean ;)
Mayor Gia recently posted..The New Girl at Work and Why I Hate Her
These kids…like the Zvatican. What bullshit
Lynn, I laughed out loud about the Vatican ploy– Lauten had similar arguments with me, and mostly I just closed the door, but at times I went on a rant and declared him unfit for living with any other human being. I am amazed, now that he has moved out, at how TIDY his own house is (he has two other roommates, so maybe it’s just honeymoon phase.) Emily is more like a binge cleaner, then her room gets almost as bad as his did. But I agree with you about the chores– we let them off too easy!
I feel like you’re damned if you do and damned if you dont
i can feel your pain. in my house i want things to look a certain way and when they don’t i feel like my head could explode.
I know…stupid kids
I think our children might be soul mates. I’m just saying…
Jennifer June recently posted..Because The Only Thing Tough Enough To Kick My Ass Is Me
Hahahaha…so yours suck too??
Yesterday with my oldest daughter.
Me: “Did you bring the dishes from your bedroom and wash them yet?”
Evil Spawn: “I will”
Me: “When?”
ES: “I told you… tomorrow or the next day”
Me: “Um.. no. This morning you said I will do it today. There is no tomorrow or the next day about the dirty dishes in your bedroom”
ES: (petting the cat) “Oh, Gus, you’re so cute. What are you thinking about?”
Me: “He’s thinking about how much he wishes you would wash the dishes in your bedroom”
ES: Silly mom, cats don’t think about dirty dishes.
Note: The dishes are still rotting in her cave.
Hahahahaha…kids suck
When our teenager did this (when he was in high school) his dad waited until he was asleep and then put all of the kid’s dirty dishes IN HIS BED. Apparently the kid got out of bed (a top bunk of a bunk bed no less), took them downstairs and put them in the dishwasher.
Now that he’s in college, if we tried this we’d have to do this in the morning when we got up and he was still sleeping. Of course, there’s a high probability he’d throw them onto his desk rather than take them down…
Hahaha…that’s unbelievable
I use this analogy with my boys (because I’m hyper-vigilant and a little nuts): If there is crap lying on the floor, and it’s the middle of the night, and there’s a fire, you COULD trip over it and knock yourself out trying to get out of the house then DIE! I don’t want you to die, so don’t leave crap lying on the floor.
That seems to work for the most part…they still leave crap on their dressers.
Pamela D Hart recently posted..Between Hell And Heaven
That would never work with my kids
I am a totally anal retentive clean freak in my home. My room when I lived with my folks would sometimes have clean laundry in a chair in the corner, that never got hung up. It stayed there so long it got worn, then went back in the dirty laundry. That being said, I ALWAYS kept the common space clean. I never left a mess in the kitchen, living room, or other space I shared with my family. I always thought that was incredibly rude. It’s why I had trouble with roommates. I don’t care if your room is messy, but when I come home from work and want to relax but can’t, because the kitchen and living room are a disaster, that’s when I get peeved.
My parents gave us chores from the time we could do them, and always made us keep a clean room. I distinctly remember her making me clean when she was having company and saying, “But you’re company will not be seeing my room.” Now I wish I would’ve just realized how much she was doing for me, and cleaned without arguing. But that’s just not what teenagers do.
i know…but these girls aren’t teenagers
I love how you talk to your kids. Hmm, probably because I use the same lingo with my choreless pain in the ass. Ask her to lift a fucking finger and you’d think I had demanded that she learn to split atoms.
hahaha…i know, i talk to my kids terribly….always have
That was still a good conversation Lynn because you win it. LOL. Anyway, you should really stand for it…
Jacky recently posted..costa del sol bayshore
Yep!!! I won…he cleaned up
When I was a kid I didn’t have many chores at all, but my best friend did. I would help her with her chores so she could come out and play sooner. Now, I HATE cleaning, except for the chores of hers that I used to do. I like vacuuming and washing the windows. But the kitchen and dusting and mopping – ugh! HATE!
Every person has their own relevant and perception, These one is really awesome for sharing a kind of situation..
Same as, I hate also in commanding me of what must I do.
Megan recently posted..Pet Cremations-Edmonton and Greater Area
At least he didn’t compare it to a brothel?
Having a daughter of 14 who resembles me and inherited my teenage habits :)
About the weeds, I had to do it as well as a child. Fucking hated it :))
Still hate it, grateful to my wife though that she tends the garden :))