This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
(written two weeks ago)
It’s 8:07 and I’m just running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Why am I doing that? Let’s take you back.
8:00 (phone call)
Me: hey, how’s it going?
Kevin: what’s up?
Me: well, I looked over that spreadsheet like you wanted me to
Me: and my IRA (From 1983 no less) is doing awful.
Kevin: (laughing) yeah, your IRA sucks
Me: I wouldn’t last a month if I had to live on that
Kevin: well I’ll take you to dinner sometime on mine
Me: wow, you’re a real sport
Kevin: that I am
Me: do you know what’s funny about your financial spreadsheet?
Kevin: what’s that?
Me: you still call Bank of America Nationsbank
Kevin: hold on
Me: I’m surprised you don’t call it North Carolina National Bank
Kevin: damn it Lynn
Me: what did I do?
Kevin: I need you to bring me a shirt out to work
Kevin: it’s all your fault
Me: what’s my fault (I should have asked what isn’t my fault)
Kevin: I just spilled my entire coffee down my shirt
Me: how is that my fault?
Kevin: I was trying to talk to you and punch in the code to the office
Me: and that’s my fault how?
KEvin: you were on the phone
Kevin: so I need you to bring me a shirt
Me: I have a class at 8:30
Kevin: Lynn, I’m sopped
Me: and you’re way far away. Are you serious?
Kevin: I’m soaking wet
Me: I have an idea. I’ll call Bruce (my brother who works with Kevin)
So I call Bruce and sure enough he’s only a few minutes past my house. He begrudgingly turns around and I run to Kevin’s closet.
Me: which shirt?
Kevin: the blue one?
Me: which blue shirt? There are about 20
Kevin: the J. Crew one
Me: Ok? So that means there are about 19 now
Kevin: it has a slight tear in the shoulder
Me: are you kidding me Kevin? These shirts are above my eyelevel. I can’t see the damn shoulder
Kevin: just look
Me: Bruce will be here in a second. He’s already pissed
Kevin: I think it’s on your side of the closet
Me: well why didn’t you say that?
Kevin: I just did
Me: found it
Kevin: I’m sopped
Me: I gotta go
So I go outside right as Bruce is pulling up. He scowls at me and says, “Just call me the butler” and grabs the shirt and leaves.
So here I am running late now for my class. See all the supportive things I do for this family?? And seriously, how IS that My fault???