This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which it’s the corn basket?

 

So, I wrote this post while flying to my vacation last week.  Hope you enjoy it!

 

 

I’m flying right now.  Well, I’m actually a passenger on the plane but the planes flying…so far.  I wanted to sleep but I couldn’t get comfortable.  I should’ve brought a travel pillow but I forgot one.  I blame Kevin.

 

Kevin just asked I’d I had anything soft in my bag I could lean my head on and I told him that he should just take off his shirt and let me use that.  He shook his head sadly and ignored me.  Then I told him that “he really wasn’t helping me get to sleep” to which he replied, “what the hell do you want me to do Lynn?” which seems like a rather stupid, yet sort of practical question.

 

Then I changed the subject and told him I’ve decided to be a show runner when I grow up.  Then he told me to shut up because he was reading.  As if.  I mean, as if I could shut up.

 

What’s a show runner you ask?  He/she/it is the person who “sets the tone” of a show on TV; like the lead producer or the head writer or the creator of the show.  I think this sounds like a fantastic thing to be.  Here’s the conversation:

 

Kevin:             you don’t have a show Lynn

Me:                 so, I’m like the show runner of the family

Kevin:             we don’t have show runner

Me:                 sure we do, I set the TONE of the family

Kevin:             if you mean by “setting the tone” as in “setting a bad example”

Which, by the way, is rude but TOTALLY reminds me of something!

The other day Daniel was filling out an application and one of the questions they asked was “what influences has your family had on your personal development?” or some crap like that!

Me:                 so Daniel. What’d ya write?

Daniel:            first I wrote that I learned to have a good sense of humor and NEVER to take myself too seriously

Me:                 that’s a good one…anything else?

Daniel:            … Yeah, and then I put down that I learned how to work hard and that I have gotten a good work ethic from my father and two sisters

Me:                 I’m sorry what?

Daniel:            you heard me

Me:                 what? Is your mother dead?

Daniel:            are you serious mom?

Me:                 what about me?

Daniel:            Hahahahahahah

Daniel:            hey dad, mom says what about her?

Kevin:             hahahaha

Me:                 perhaps they’ll assume I’m dead and feel bad for you and you’ll get picked.  You’re a jerk.

Oh!!! Kevin just reminded me of something.  I’m not really used to having him around when I write but he’s pretty handy with the memory shit.

So we were getting on the plane in Houston and a bunch of college girls were in front of us so of course I talked to them.  (NOTE to readers: I talk to everyone)

Me:                 so are you girls in spring break?

Girls:              yeah

Me:                 so where are you from?

Girls:               we are from Iowa

Me:                 oh Iowa, well. This will be a nice change of pace

So they get on and then Kevin and I are getting on the plane and we are in an exit row because Kevin is 6’5″ and I’m only slightly shorter at 5’5″.

Me:                 now remember, we are in an exit so if we crash let’s get out and lock the door behind us

Kevin:             if we get out I’m running away from the plane

Me:                 come on; let’s just lock up

Kevin:             what about those girls from Iowa?

Me:                 what about them?

Kevin:             shouldn’t we save them?

Me:                 look Kevin, just because they’re from the cornbasket…

Kevin:             bread …

Me:                 what?

Kevin:             it’s BREAD Basket

Me:                 something’s corn

Kevin:             … or CORN belt

Me:                 whatever

Kevin:             is there ANYTHING you don’t screw up?

Note to reader: I assume this is rhetorical

So later the stewardess comes by

Stewardess:  you two are in the exit row

Kevin:             yes

Me:                 yup

Stewardess:  do you agree to open the door and assist in the case of emergency?

Kevin:             yes

Me:                 everyone??

Stewardess: what ma’am?

Me:                 all of the people or do we get to pick and choose?

Stewardess:  (actually kind of speechless)

Kevin:             she’s just kidding.  Yes we agree, right Lynn?

Me:                 yeah, ok…all of them then

And there you are.  I haven’t even told you about the coffee conversation but I need to think about my new plan to be a show runner.

 

Hope you enjoyed this rambling post but if you didn’t, tough shit!!!

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23 Comments

  1. Kyla
    March 19, 2012

    I think coffee conversation sounds interesting, planning about it makes me more interesting…
    Kyla recently posted..How To Clean Grout Around ToiletMy Profile

    • Lynn
      March 19, 2012

      hahaha

  2. Julie
    March 19, 2012

    I just realized how much I missed you while you were vacationing. I’m still laughing. Welcome home!

    • Lynn
      March 19, 2012

      JUlie!!!! thanks so much, that’s soooooooo nice of you

      • Julie
        March 19, 2012

        And I will say NOTHING about college basketball. I promise. Until I break that promise …

        • Lynn
          March 19, 2012

          man did Duke suck… you can say it

  3. By Word of Mouth Musings
    March 19, 2012

    Sadly, in the exit row you have to save the stupid and the obnoxious as well.
    All that responsibility and you don’t get too pick ;)
    By Word of Mouth Musings recently posted..Living the balanced life, a muse.My Profile

    • Lynn
      March 19, 2012

      I tried…they were NOT amused

  4. Trexcy
    March 19, 2012

    Owww! It’s seems that you have a great fun with your vacation? Well, I have a flight later and I will check if I had also a crazy things to share with… :lol:
    Trexcy recently posted..1300 numberMy Profile

  5. Jester Queen
    March 19, 2012

    Hope your vacation was great! I would have LOVED to have seen the look on that stewardess’s face!!

    • Lynn
      March 19, 2012

      she wasn’t amused AT ALL

  6. Meredith P.
    March 19, 2012

    Hahahahahaha! I love, love, love what you said to the stewardess!! Oh to be a fly on the wall when that all went down and to be able to see her expression.

    I must remember to do that the next time I fly and I get stuck on that row ;).

    • Lynn
      March 19, 2012

      stuck in that row? it’s the best row because it’s soooo much roomier

      • Meredith P.
        March 19, 2012

        LOL I just meant “stuck” as in having to deal with the responsibility of being in charge of the door. xD

        Yes, that row is much, much roomier and comfortable :).

  7. Amberr Meadows
    March 19, 2012

    That’s fantastic. I can only imagine the look on the lady’s face when you asked if you could “pick and choose” who to save. How about Cornbread basket and be done with it?

    • Lynn
      March 19, 2012

      she was sorta speechless but my husband, as always, saved the day!!

  8. alaina
    March 19, 2012

    I’ve never heard of the bread basket or corn belt so your corn basket comment made the same amount of sense to me!
    alaina recently posted..Twenty-Eight Candles.My Profile

    • Lynn
      March 19, 2012

      Really??? They talked about it in social studies

  9. Kat
    March 19, 2012

    Oh crap! I just burned my roast potatoes reading this. Thanks a lot for rambling!
    Kat recently posted..A little privacy pleaseMy Profile

    • Lynn
      March 19, 2012

      Sorry! I ramble a lot

  10. Gracie
    March 19, 2012

    Thank you for sharing this nice conversation..Thanks for sharing this to us..
    Gracie recently posted..Does Pure African Mango Really Work?My Profile

  11. Shenna
    March 20, 2012

    What a wonderful post! Thanks for sharing this with us..
    Shenna recently posted..Getting A Man To Want YouMy Profile

  12. Bianca
    March 21, 2012

    I enjoy a lot.. reading your post..
    I wonder I could seat that row.. where you “stuck”..

    Thanks to this wonderful piece..

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