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In which its the soundtrack of my face

I’m 52 today so HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!  Today (although actually this was written last week so don’t be a hater if my tenses are all fucked up, ok?) I’m going to share some of the conversations I’ve had on aging lately.  Don’t like it? Tough.

 

Last week Kevin and I were floating in the pool and I was explaining to him that I was getting old, very OLD!  Kevin is only two months younger than I am and he agreed that we were aging.  Of course, he’s not SUPPOSED to agree with me because his job is to make me feel better.  At any rate, I was explaining that I just discovered I’m getting those sadsack lines on my face; you know the ones around your mouth that makes you look all frowny and stuff?

 

Now I spend a fair amount of time staring at myself in the mirror during my skin routine every night and for some reason, I just noticed this last week.  When did they appear?  I have no idea! So we had this conversation:

 

Me:                  OMG…I’m getting those sadsack lines on my face

 

Kevin:             What are you talking about?

 

Me:                  You know; those lines that look all frowny from your mouth and your mouth starts drooping.

 

Kevin:             Let me see

 

Me:                  It’s all going downhill … I’m going to look like a basset hound soon.

 

Kevin:             … or one of those marionettes whose jaw is hinged.

 

(Now I’m visualizing that and thinking…well that sucks. Also, isn’t he supposed to making me feel better and not agreeing with me?)

 

Me:                  Thanks…now I feel so much better.

 

Kevin:             Just trying to help out.

 

Me:                  My entire personality is predicated on how my face looks.

 

Kevin:             It’s not that bad.  Most people think you look great for your age.

 

Me:                  It’s like in the Lord of the Rings movie…Fellowship of the Ring

 

Kevin:             What is?

 

Me:                  Yeah…when they’re in the Caves of Moria they hear a drum beat and then all this music starts and you just KNOW they’re screwed!

 

Kevin:             Yeah, it’s very FOREBODING music.

 

Me:                  Well, that music is the soundtrack of my face.

 

Kevin:             The soundtrack of your face?

 

Me:                  Yeah… doom and gloom ahead with my face.

 

Kevin:            (cracking up now) Lynn, who thinks like that?  What the hell is wrong with you?

 

Well, I assume that was rhetorical because really, who has time to answer that question “what is wrong with me?”

 

So, a few days later we were lying in bed and talking and I said:

 

Me:                  Yeah, I looked in the mirror and every day those sadsack lines are getting worse

 

Kevin:             It’s been just a few days.  That’s not possible.

 

Me:                  Well, you haven’t seen me in a mirror!

 

Kevin:             No.  I just see you IN PERSON FACE-TO-FACE every day.

 

Me:                  It’s not the same…you should see what I look like in the mirror.

 

Kevin:             (huge sigh) Ok Lynn.  Tomorrow I’ll look at you in the mirror.

 

Me:                  … and then you’ll see I’m going downhill fast.

 

Kevin:             What the hell is wrong with you?

 

Me:                  I can feel the footsteps.

 

Kevin:             What footsteps?

 

Me:                  Time…

 

Kevin:             Time?

 

Me:                  The footsteps of time are marching on my face!

 

Kevin:             Jeez…

 

Me:                  … and I can hear it too

Kevin:             Hear what?

 

Me:                  The soundtrack of my face … and trust me, it’s not pretty.

 

And then we start cracking up at the thought of a foreboding soundtrack preceding me every time I show up somewhere.  And then of course we decided that it would be an awesome name for a blog post, “the soundtrack of my face” so I put it down on paper.

 

So basically, I can no longer surprise people as I will be preceded by a foreboding soundtrack every time I show up somewhere.  And even if I look sad I’m probably not, it’s just my little sadsack lines.

 

I’m just saying…. And by the way… HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

 

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26 Comments

  1. Katja Brown
    June 20, 2011

    Happy Birthday Lynn!!!

    The greatest gift that you have is that you are able to make fun of yourself. I guess I don’t have to wait for my dog to alert me of your arrival tomorrow, I am just going to wait for “the soundtrack of your face” ;)

    • Lynn
      June 20, 2011

      yeah…i’m pretty good at making fun of myself..that’s for sure

  2. Lisa
    June 20, 2011

    That’s hilarious. I think for my theme song I’d use Loser by Beck so I’d sound cool in an underachiever sort of way.

    Happy birthday!

    • Lynn
      June 20, 2011

      hey, i love that song. Thanks for commenting

  3. Lady Estrogen
    June 20, 2011

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
    Look me in the mirror and tell me that – that should be a popular phrase, I love it ;)

    • Lynn
      June 20, 2011

      hahaha…i can’t believe that he puts up with me honestly…

  4. Evil_Cat_Grrl
    June 20, 2011

    Happy Birthday!

    I love the conversations that you and your husband have…you guys remind me of my sister and her husband.

    Enjoy your day!

    • Lynn
      June 20, 2011

      thanks…yeah, we’re stupid

  5. Happy birthday, Lynn!

    I want to say this in the nicest way possible, so… shut the hell up, you’re beautiful.

    AND…

    I almost didn’t click through this page because puppets scare me nearly as much as clowns.

    • Lynn
      June 20, 2011

      thank you Abby…i appreciate it. those puppets are creepy aren’t they

  6. Jessica
    June 20, 2011

    Happy Birthday to you!

    • Lynn
      June 20, 2011

      why thank you…i appreciate it

  7. Alison@Mama Wants This
    June 20, 2011

    Happy Birthday Lynn!

    Your conversations with your husband are hilarious!

    • Lynn
      June 20, 2011

      yeah…he hates them but what can he do

  8. Name *
    June 20, 2011

    Just thought you’d want to know that those sadsack lines are actually called “marionette lines” in the dermatology and plastic surgery worlds. Don’t fret– you look great, and for later, there’s always Restylane!

    • Lynn
      June 20, 2011

      they are? hahaha…that’s so funny cuz i was just kidding when i put that pic up

  9. Lola
    June 20, 2011

    My husband and I had a similar conversation when one day I noticed him staring at what I now know to be my “jowls”. This gets even better when you know that a few weeks before? He was staring at my neck “waddle”. At bedtime lately? He is staring into the sofa.

    Happy belated!!

    • Lynn
      June 20, 2011

      Hahahaha…I hate gravity

  10. MommaKiss
    June 20, 2011

    A very happy birthday to you- Change that soundtrack today to Happy Birthday as sung by 15 little children. Should make you feel better

  11. anon
    June 20, 2011

    laughing causes those, so be very thankful for them…just for that single moment before rushing out to the plastic surgeon for a face full of juvederm, botox, or the latest greatest face filler!

    • Lynn
      June 20, 2011

      I’m not getting anything done to my face…just bitching and moaning…and laughing

  12. RCB
    June 23, 2011

    I know I’m a bit late, Lynn, but Happy Birthday nevertheless. I hope you had an enjoyable day. You didn’t spend it in front of a mirror, now did you? And, yes, Kevin was supposed to cheer you up. Telling you that “Most people (so not even all of them???) think you look great for your age” I’m sure didn’t help. Don’t you just hate the ‘for your age’ part? But it could still be worse: before we know it people will tell us, “You still SOUND good for your age”, as if they’d expected you to have lost the ability to speak by now or to be mumbling like a little old demented lady. How’s that for cheering you up? :)

    Randy from just across the Atlantic

    P.S. To show you how much I sympathize, let me share this link with you. I hope you don’t mind. It’s a blog entry about how some people are too young for Buckley’s. Now you could lie to me, Lynn, and say, “Buckley’s? Buckley’s? What’s that?”
    http://rcbenglishclass.blogspot.com/2011/03/to-young-for-buckleys_4253.html

  13. Happy belated birthday!

    • Lynn
      June 27, 2011

      Thanks…other than the getting older part it was fun!

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