This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which junk mail is such crap

WTF

Every day I get tons of missives that go into my junk mail.  Every once in a while I go through all of the crap to make sure that I haven’t missed anything of importance.  Here’s what I’m curious about.  Below are some of the zillions of emails I get and I don’t even understand how any of them EVER work.  Do people actually respond to this crap?

I understand how the ones that look like PayPal or Google or Microsoft trick people but half of these aren’t even in well-written English (and trust me, I’m awful at English so if I can tell, anyone can tell.)

 

Attn: Please,

We wish to notify you again that you were listed as a lawful Heir/Beneficiary to the total sum of  (Three Million Six Hundred Thousand British Pounds).

A regular mail was dispatched to you but no response from you. We request you to kindly acknowledge this email to enable us process your inheritance.

Yours truly, 
Admin Staff.
QServices Uk.

 

SIC-BF Investment  Company Limited

Location Address: SECTOR 20,SIGNOGHIN,

OUAGADOUGOU, BURKINA FASO.

 CONFIDENTIAL INVESTMENT PROPOSAL

Dear Sir/Madam

 I am Mr. Ahmed Isa Traore,a financial Attorney & consultant based in SIC-BF Investment  Company OUAGA. BURKINA FASO.

 I have a client(a widow). she has (USD$25, 000,000) Twenty Five Million United State Dollars with a private equity investment trust company here for safe keeping only.

She wishes to invest in a stable economy outside BURKINA FASO . Her interest is in companies with potentials for rapid growth in long terms. My client is interested in placing part of her fund in your company, if your country’s by-laws allow foreign investment. You can contact me for more details.

 With your reference, then I will forward to you her contact details both telephone / fax number and email address. NB: The fund is drug free and has no money laundering related matter.  

Kindly contact me through my email contact :{xxxxxx@gmail.com

 I await your kind response.

Yours faithfully,

Mr. Ahmed Isa Traore.

Dear customer,

 We regret to inform you that your merchat account has been

restricted.To restore it please download the file attached to this e-mail and update your login information.

 Holy Moly, I can’t believe it. You need to hear what happened to me yesterday.

Yesterday, I got an email from my car insurance company saying my rate was going up from $203 per month to $240 a month! At this point I was pretty mad. I haven’t gotten any tickets or accidents or anything to deserve an increase in my rates. The greedy car insurance company must think im made of money and will just pay it. Well, they were WRONG. I don’t sit around when I think im getting screwed.

 So, I started getting some quotes online to see if I could get my car insurance for any cheaper from another company.

I went to 3-4 car insurance company websites, and got a quote on all of them. Took me about 20 minutes for each one, only to find out that they were not cheap at all.

Finally I found this site that you can type in your zip code and the make and model of your car, then it tells you the rates on 15+ sites.

I have attached a copy of my rate comparison from www.xxxxxxx.xxx so you can see. There is a HUGE difference between the different companies.

You need to go to www.xxxxxx.xxx and do a rate comparison

to see the different rates for you. You could be saving over $150 a month now like I am. I was able to lower my rate from 240 per month to 90 per month for FULL coverage!

Do yourself a favor and take the 30 seconds to see how much you could be saving. It worked wonders for me.

Thanks for reading my story, I hope it helps you.

 -Jessica

From Barrister Joe Cooper

La Sagrada Familia Calle Mallorca,

601 08713 Barcelona

TEL: +34672949714

 Attn: Dear Friend,

I am Barrister Joe Cooper a solicitor at law. I am the personal attorney to late Mr. JACK a national of your country, who was an official contractor (category D) with REPSOL YPF, SPAIN (RY) an oil firm in Spain. Here in after shall be referred to as my client. On the 11th of March 2010, my client, his wife and their two only sons were involved in a car accident on holiday trip along Las Palmas express way. All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives. Since then I have made several enquiries and presentations to locate any of my client’s extended relatives, this has also proved abortive. It is after these several unsuccessful attempts to locate any member of his family failed that I decided to contact you since coincidentally you have your last name believing that you can invariably be of help in this situation to stands as the next of kin to this my client. I am contacting you to assist in repatriating the money and property left behind by my client before they get confiscated or declared. 

Already, the finance company where the deceased had an account valued at about 1 Million Euros has issued me a notice/ultimatum to provide the next of kin or have the account confiscated within the next one Month. Since It has been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over 2 years now, I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased, so that the proceeds of this account valued at ?1 Million can be paid to your account and there after we can share the fund (money) in the ratio of 7:3. That is, I will have 70% of the proceed while you have 30% for your assistance. I have all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we may make. All I require is your honest co-operation to enable us see this transaction through .I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.

Please get in touch with me by my email and send to me your telephone and fax numbers to enable us discuss further about this transaction.

 Best regards,

Barrister Joe Cooper

 

Good Day,

 I am Mrs.Lisa Lambert now undergoing medical treatment now.I am married to Dr.Lambert who worked with South Africa embassy before ,Who past away in the year 2006.

We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.Before his death we were both born again Christians. I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home, which the Bible is against.

 When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of 10.6 Million Usd with a Bank in Europe, this money is still with the Bank.

Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not Last for the next three months due to cancer and what disturbs me most is my stroke.

 Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to church or better still a Christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in.

In your receipts of this message ,reply me back at: xxxxxxx@gmail.com

Get back to me for more details.

Mrs. Lisa  Lambert.

I am in the military unit here in Afghanistan,we have some amount of funds that we want to move out of the country.My partners and I need a good partner someone we can trust. It is risk free and legal. Reply to this email majorEdward@admin.in.th

 Regards,

Major.Alan Edward

 

CAN you believe this crap??? How do people fall for this?? If you know anyone who is the type of person to fall for this I urge you to talk to them about it.

 

 

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2 Comments

  1. Julie
    February 5, 2014

    I want to send a condolence card to Mrs. Lambert as her husband recently “past away”. So sad.

    • Lynn
      February 10, 2014

      I think you should!!!

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