This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which keely is robbed at gunpoint

Since we are going to be celebrating “Keely week” I feel I must share the quintessential Keely story. She actually told this story to some people while in London and of course, she tells it much better than I, but I know you’ll appreciate it. In our family, we have a huge list of what we like to call “Keelyisms”. Keely is a very bright girl who hasn’t a lick of common sense and tends to speak before she thinks. It’s from these two personality traits that some of the funniest incidents ever emerge and today I’m going to share one of them with you. I know if Keely were sitting beside me right now, she would be correcting me left and right about the details of the story but she’s not here so I’m on my own.

This incident occurred when Keely was a senior in high school 3 years ago. In our household, dinners were often staggered as people had various after school/work activities and therefore needed to eat at different times. Daniel and Andie both had after-school sports and would arrive home around 6:30 absolutely starving so wanted dinner ready at that time while Keely had swimming practice around 6:00-8:00 and would eat early and then go to practice. Often, the only thing we actually ate together as a family was frozen yogurt which was the big treat in our house. There is a dessert shop called Maxie B’s that we frequented on a daily basis. It had ice cream, frozen yogurt and baked goods and they were all delicious. On the day in question, Keely decided to be a champ and run by and pick up the frozen yogurt on the way back from swimming practice. It really wasn’t that far out of the way and didn’t take a long time so even though she had loads of homework to do, she agreed.

However, on this day Keely seemed to be running late and I was starting to wonder where she was when the phone rang and Keely was on the line.

Keely:      “Hi Mom”

Me:          “Keely, where are you?”

Keely:      “I’m still at Maxie B’s. I have to wait around for the police.”

Me:          “The police? Why? What happened?”

Keely:       “Maxie B’s just got robbed.”

Me:          “Oh my god!  Are you alright? What happened?”

Keely:       “Yeah, I’m fine. Here’s what happened. I was at the counter ordering our five desserts and some sketchy guy walks in, right?”

Me:           “Ok, right.”

Keely:       “… and I’m the only customer there and the two girls (the manager and a schoolmate of Keely’s who worked there) are getting my order together. The guy had been standing in the corner and he got of the phone …”

Me:           “ok and …”

Keely:       “…so the guy walks up to me and pulls out a gun and starts waving it around and says, give me all your money!”

Me:           “Oh shit!”

Keely:       “…and the manager (who’s a tough kid around 23 years old) says, NO!”

Me:           “WHAT?”

Keely:        “…so the guys waving the gun around and acting nuts and starts saying give me the money or I’m going to shoot this girl and he’s pointing the gun at me.”

Me:           “…pointing the gun at you?”

Keely:       “yeah, so …”

Me:          “Oh my God …were you freaking out?”

Keely:       “No, because I’m thinking … oh no… they didn’t even get to put the lids on my yogurts and they’re all melting …”

Me:          “What? Are you serious Keely?”

Keely:       “… so then the guy points the gun at my head and says to the manager, I’m going to kill this girl if you don’t give me the money.”

Me:          (I’m actually speechless at this point so Keely continues)

Keely:      “…so Pender (the schoolmate) is hysterically crying on the floor, I’m standing there panicked about my yogurt melting with a gun to my head, the guy’s yelling that he’s going to kill me if he doesn’t get the money and the manager tells him that there is a security camera that’s filming the entire thing and that he’s going to get caught and go to jail.”

Me:           (still speechless but I mumble) “ … and then what happened?”

Keely:        “…the guy freaks out and runs out of the store.”

Me:          “OH MY GOD! Do you want me to come over there?”

Keely:      (continuing on and ignoring me) “… but don’t worry mom, they put the yogurt in the freezer so it won’t melt before I’m home”

Me:          (dryly) “well thank god Keely because out of all the stuff you just told me, the fear of my yogurt melting was the greatest!”

Keely:       “yeah, and they offered to comp me the yogurt but I told them that it wasn’t their fault so I just paid for it anyways.”

Me:          “you did what?”

So that’s it. The police came and scolded the manager for not giving up the money. Kevin and I were livid that Keely was put in that position. You’re always supposed to give up the money in the till and you never endanger anyone over small change like that. As it turns out, the guy was on a huge crime spree and had robbed both before and after Maxie B’s but he got caught later that night and Keely became an instant celebrity.

When asked if she would ever go back to Maxie B’s she replied, “yeah, probably tonight” and she did.

So there you are. The kid was completely unphased by the incident and just figured that “hey, this is going to be a great story in my college applications!”

Yep, so that’s Keely. This story is just the tip of the iceberg and we’re going to enjoy an entire week of them. Stay tuned …

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  1. ChristineMarie_
    December 12, 2010


    I love how concerned she was about the yogurt. Unfortunately, I think I probably would have been that way, too….well, back in high school I would have. If it happened today I’d probably pass out.

    • Lynn
      December 12, 2010

      Yeah…that was the crazy part of it. She went back the next day to get yogurt. They offered to comp the purchase and she said, “no, it wasn’t your fault you were robbed”. She is a ridiculous child. Thanks for commenting.

  2. Marinka
    January 15, 2011

    I already knew this story, but it still gives me chills. SO glad that it ended well.

    • Lynn
      January 15, 2011

      Hey. Thanks for commenting. I just find the story amusing as it’s “soooo Keely!”. Obviously, knowing it turned out fine helps. The kids a nut!

  3. Casey
    January 23, 2011

    Worst fear. I wish I had four superheroes following my kiddies around 24/7. That would rock.

    • Lynn
      January 23, 2011

      hahaha…four superheroes…you really can’t worry about bad things because Shit Happens…just need to go with the flow

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