This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which Keely subverts Mother’s Day

 

I had scheduled a funny post here and I realize that I’ve had a few serious posts lately  as well as a few posts about blogging so just bear with me.  My husband informed me that my “blogging” post was “boring” so it just goes to show that you can’t always please everybody. Obviously, if you’re not a blogger or not involved in blogging then the “blogging” posts won’t pertain to you and they would be construed as “boring” however I like to write whatever I feel like it and since I never know what mood I’ll be in or what I’ll feel like this blog is all over the place.

 

As a matter of fact, at the conference it talked about “branding” and “what type of niche you were in” and very frankly, I don’t think I have a true “niche.”  Have you noticed how many quotation marks I’ve already used in this post?

 

That was rhetorical.  I don’t need an answer.  I’m actually terrible at grammar and usually just wing it until the little red squiggly line shows up on Word, which I assume means “you fucked up Lynn” and then I just make changes until the little lines, go away.  That’s why autocorrect is so awesome.

 

Just imagine if we had an autocorrect in our brain.  I could save so much time and energy by not fucking up in the first place.  I should get to work on that idea: autocorrect for the brain.  I’m not sure how it would work; I’m not a scientist.

 

Well, I was going to point out that this weekend is Mother’s Day which is a day completely and totally devoted to me.  Oh, and I suppose some of you guys out there if you’re mother’s.  Back in the day when my mom was alive I had to be nice to her too but she wisely perished in a sort of selfless way to make the entire day about me.   That’s what I call a devoted mother.

 

BUT, this weekend, which is supposed to be all about ME is actually going to be all about Keely. Unfair right?  Well, I suppose without Keely I wouldn’t have been a mother anyways so I don’t mind sharing it kind of. Well sort of.  Actually, it’s annoying sharing it.  Why am I sharing Mother’s Day with Keely?  Because she’s graduating from Duke University on Sunday, May 13th.

 

Now don’t get me wrong.  I’m proud of the fact that she’s graduating but I really don’t understand why the one-day in a year that’s devoted to Mothers has to be relegated to celebrating our kids.  The kicker is that it’s on Sunday, which also happens to be my day off.

 

Yeah, it’s true.  I declared Sunday my day off years ago.  Kevin, in his wiseass way, asked me “from what?” but I assumed that was rhetorical, as he knows I carry the burden of this family on my lovely little back.

 

So, it’s my day off which usually means that I do nothing but instead, I have to spend it in a DRESS sweltering outside in the sun lauding my darling child.  I don’t know why I need to laud her, as it seems to me that she does a pretty good job of lauding herself.  Is that even a term? Lauding yourself?

 

So, while all you moms out there get waited on hand and foot just remember that I’m taking one for the team.  Out there watching my first-born get her degree.  I suppose, if I begrudgingly admit it, that it’s worth it.

 

Happy Mother’s Day all and also, congratulations to all graduates of the Class of 2012!

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26 Comments

  1. Lucy
    May 11, 2012

    We already had Mothers Day here in England, and I had to share it with Hubbys birthday!!! How rude of him to be born then!

    HAHA!

    Hope you stil enjoy your Mothers Day / Daughter stealing your thunder graduation day!
    Lucy recently posted..My Free School Purchasing Help BlogMy Profile

    • Lynn
      May 11, 2012

      Father’s day is always on my birthday

  2. actually that would be a win … like I don’t have to have sex on my birthday but I should on his …
    and Mothers Day is about me not about him …
    so my birthday on Fathers day would be perfect ;)

    • Lynn
      May 11, 2012

      hahaha…used to share it with my dad and now with Kevin…

  3. mara
    May 11, 2012

    My mother hasn’t perished yet, so its very much all about her. But, then again, every day is all about her. If you can believe, some fuckwit has booked a Bar Mitzvah between 12:30 – 3:30 on Mother’s Day. Don’t they know that’s when we have brunch and argue?

    • Lynn
      May 11, 2012

      well that’s annoying…just don’t go

  4. Julie
    May 11, 2012

    I strongly recommend a visit to Charming Charlies (kind of like a Claire’s, but for grown ups). For $8.99 you can get a simple, yet elegant rhinestone tiara. I bought one for myself so that everyone will know when I am declaring myself “Queen For The Day’. I suggest you wear one to the graduation so you get the atention you so rightfully deserve. (Often I enjoy wearing mine to the local grocery store just to have fun with peoples reactions.)

    • Lynn
      May 11, 2012

      i’m not sure that i’m a tiara kind of gal but i will keep this in mind

  5. Jester Queen
    May 11, 2012

    Happy mother’s day to you, and happy graduation day to Keely. These kids are determined to steal everything from us aren’t they? Sheesh.

    • Lynn
      May 11, 2012

      I know right…and they NEVER leave. Did you enjoy your guest post? It got a lot of traffic so i hoped it helped.

  6. ann
    May 11, 2012

    Hilarious. i found your blog via Amy Orstein. I have to say – I’m terrible at grammar and told my bloggers I got jipped in elementary school on the core basics so please don’t read my blog for grammar, big words, punctuation because it’s not happening. Good for you taking one for the team. Just make sure they give you a make up day. I don’t have kids but I do have a dog and my boyfriend has been informed what i would like for Mothers Day. LOL. Love your blog.

    • Lynn
      May 11, 2012

      I’m so glad you’re reading. I love Amy and when I come visit her I hope I’ll meet you. I suck at grammar…

  7. Alyssa S.
    May 11, 2012

    See, for me, Mother’s Day is another Hallmark holiday. Send me a card (or not) and I’ll be just fine. My birthday, now that’s all about me! I officially ban all other events on my day :)

    • Lynn
      May 11, 2012

      Me too!!! I like to milk it personally

  8. Twinkle Teacher
    May 11, 2012

    I take a day “off,” too! I call it Friday Fun Day, and I do whatever the heck I feel like (while surrounded by kids, but whatever). It helps keep me happy, and I’m all about the happy. Happy Mother’s Day!

    • Lynn
      May 14, 2012

      good for you…and thanks, same to you

  9. Nicki
    May 12, 2012

    Sorry you don’t get to do what you had planned for YOUR day! But congrats on your baby graduating and from Duke no less!! Awesome!

    My Mother’s Day was supposed to be spent being lazy and possibly getting my garden in order. And getting the smell of vagina out of the pond because I have neglected that too. Instead, I will be spending it with my in-laws and this might sound horrible but I reallllly would rather spend it home in my jammies!

    • Lynn
      May 14, 2012

      nope! I totally get this…

  10. Annabelle
    May 13, 2012

    Congrats to both of you! Hope it wasn’t too hot.
    Annabelle recently posted..Sunday RoundupMy Profile

    • Lynn
      May 14, 2012

      actually, it wasn’t hot so it turned out well. It did eventually rain but it was after she received her diploma so it was all good. Thanks for commenting

  11. Ann
    May 14, 2012

    Double celebration eh? But you should have been the highlight of the day. Hahaha
    Ann recently posted..Best kitchen islandMy Profile

    • Lynn
      May 14, 2012

      actually, I spent the day dealing with an emotional child though

  12. Dawn
    May 15, 2012

    I am lauding myself that I am intelligent enough to turn one day into an ENTIRE weekend celebrating the fabulous moi. My youngest daughter and I flew (that’s right, FLEW ’cause it was all about me, remember?) up to Chicago to visit my oldest daughter in college. We stayed at a fancy-schmancy place right on Michigan Ave. and ate gourmet food to our hearts’ content. And drank wine because, really, what’s a girls’ weekend about if it’s not about the wine?? (well, I drank wine. The 13 year-old decided to skip that part. This time.)
    Aren’t you proud of me?

    • Lynn
      May 15, 2012

      that does sound awesome…much better than my mother’s day

  13. Jeanne Stryker
    May 16, 2012

    We must love our mother because they spend everything for our own benefits. Last time it is a mother’s day here in our place and I spend whole day together with my mom. So, we must thank our mom for taking good care of us.
    Jeanne Stryker recently posted..CapsiplexMy Profile

  14. Laura
    May 16, 2012

    Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms here… I really love the moment I spent with my family spending happy Mother’s Day…
    Laura recently posted..Wieder StudentMy Profile

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