This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which keely was Bambi

 

WRITERS NOTE: My editor, a good friend of mine, had an incredibly busy week as she was on a business trip. Instead of bombarding her with emails harassing her to edit this entry, I asked my daughter Keely to help me out. She edited this story and added a little flavor to it while doing so. Here was her comment to me that arrived with my email. “Some comments are meant to stay and some are my commentary whilst editing. You can choose whether to keep it or not. You’re welcome.” Her editing was flawless and her comments were … well, they’re Keely. See if you can figure out what they are. And now, without further ado, my story.

In honor of Halloween, which is this weekend, I must tell you a funny Halloween story. Or at least, I think it’s funny. Here’s a little background. I’ve always been a “MacGyver” type of person. That’s the type of person that jury-rigs a situation and fixes it until it’s “good enough” which is kind of my personal mantra (among others). I have always been about getting stuff done; doesn’t matter if it’s perfect, just so long as it’s DONE. Now as you can imagine, being married to an engineer means sometimes butting heads on exactly how things are done, but normally Kevin just leaves me alone and lets me run amuck.

One time, many years ago, one of our sets of wooden shutters broke. Kevin told me to get it fixed and I looked it over and figured out that I could fix it myself. So using a paperclip and a set of wire cutters, I managed to repair the wooden shutters. When Kevin looked it over it was in perfect working condition but you could see where I had fixed it. “What about that” he asked? Soon enough, a little dab of white paint was applied and voila “perfect set of working shutters”. So what’s the point? I’m all about getting things done in the easiest (or laziest) possible way.

So back in 1992, Keely MacDonald, the most awesome of my three kids, had just turned 3 and her sister Andie, who can only hope to be half as cool as Keely has turned out, was 15 months old. I hadn’t taken Keely trick-or-treating as a baby (as I think that’s ridiculous), but once you’re taking one out, you might as well take out the other. So Keely and Andie are going to go trick or treating. Now many of you who know Keely are thinking, “But wasn’t Keely a cat for every Halloween of her life?” The answer is… pretty much. Once Keely became a cat at age 5, she was a cat for EVERY SINGLE Halloween from there on out. She still is a cat when she dresses up and SHE’S IN COLLEGE NOW (NOT TRUE I AM BEING PIKACHU THIS YEAR)! However, when she was 4 she was Jasmine from Aladdin (Andie was Tinkerbell) and when she was 3 she wanted to be Bambi.

So, Keely tells me she wants to be Bambi and I’m not one of those “I’ll do anything for my kids” type of mom, so I’m trying to figure out how to accomplish it in the easiest manner possible. I’m explaining to my friends (yeah, I’ve got a few of them … or at least I did back in the day) how Keely wants to be Bambi and I’ll be damned if I’m going out and purchasing a Bambi costume (after all, this movie upset Kevin to the point of crying). A friend of mine tells me that her child was a wolf last year, and did I want to borrow that? So I check out the furry wolf costume and it doesn’t look anything like Bambi, but of course I don’t care and Keely is 3, so what the hell does she know? So I say, “Sure,” and I borrow the costume.

So, Halloween comes and we put Keely in the costume and she doesn’t look ANYTHING like Bambi: instead she looks like a little girl in a furry little costume, but I know I can rectify this situation. So I make a sign out of white paper with the words “I’m Bambi” written in marker and I attach it to the outfit. You see, Keely can’t read because she’s just 3 years old, but anybody who’s actually an adult can read (well, most likely) so when they see Keely they say, “Oh, so you’re Bambi?” Well, she’s thrilled because everybody knows she’s Bambi and I’m thrilled because I think it’s the funniest thing ever; she’s happy and I didn’t have to do shit, and I know we’re going to rake in the chocolate with this cute Bambi kid running around.

So, she goes through the night as “Bambi” and nobody tells her anything differently. She’s got beaucoup amounts of candy, which I’m stuffing in my mouth and it’s all good. I consider it an excellent Halloween on every level.

We were going through pictures a few weeks ago and I saw Keely’s “I’m Bambi” picture and I was thinking, “Is it possible I’m the worst mother ever?” I mean, who does that to their child? Looking back, I still think it’s funny and I realize that as long as she was okay, then I was okay, but I still can’t help chuckling when I look back at Keely, all happy, with her “I’m Bambi” sign out in front. Keely wasn’t a wolf in sheep’s clothing – she was a deer in a wolf’s clothing.

So, if you need some outside-the-box thinking or some MacGyver fixing, you might want to contact me. And the next time you think of buying a Halloween costume, just grab a marker and paper instead.

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14 Comments

  1. Nicki
    October 29, 2010

    I am guessing she had her hand in the paragraph that begins with "In 1992" quite a bit! Either that or you are a way cooler and more honest mom than I am! Love it!!

  2. Nicki
    October 29, 2010

    Oh my Gawd!!!!!!! You are my hero!!!!!!!!!! I think you would understand me on every. single. level!!! I read this to my 12 year old son in hopes he will think I am at least a normal mom now, if not a good one! =)

  3. Lynn MacDonald
    October 29, 2010

    Hey, she got some candy and isn't that the point?

  4. London City Mum
    October 29, 2010

    My eldest two kids just had a Victorian day at school and they had to 'dress up'.
    Mr Man was pretty easy: old scruffy trousers, long-sleeved shirt, waistcoat, scarf round neck and i bought a floppy peak cap.
    Blossom was another matter. She wanted at all costs to wear her flower girl dress which still fits her (just) from her godmother's wedding a year ago.
    "Sure," I said, "you can be Queen Victoria on her wedding day."
    Cue search on internet and print out of photo for her to take with her.
    She looked nothing like Queen V (probably just as well), but gawd love her, she was still gorgeous.

    LCM x

  5. Toni
    October 29, 2010

    I don't know. She sorta looks like Bambi. At least she's in brown.

  6. Jenny, the Bloggess
    October 29, 2010

    Totally Bambi.

  7. Mom101
    October 29, 2010

    The only thing cuter would be if she recreated the costume today. Not that Pikachu isn't cute.

  8. Beyond Repair
    November 11, 2010

    That's the best story I've heard and I think its great it't not like you messed her mind up with it and really I'd give her double candy if she came to my door! very cute!

  9. McApril
    November 17, 2010

    I see a Halloween costume *much* like this in my daughter's future!

  10. Lynn MacDonald
    November 17, 2010

    Yeah…sometimes you just gotta go with the flow

  11. Melissa
    February 5, 2011

    HEHEHE so cute! Hey, as long as she was happy and excited that’s all that matters. My brother went as “a big ass” one year where he wore my dad’s sweat pants and they stuffed two giant pillows in the back. We were all laughing insanely the entire nigh.

    • Lynn
      February 5, 2011

      thats hilarious…i once went out as a television set…i’m got at improvising

  12. Lady Estrogen
    March 27, 2011

    That sign is frickin’ hilarious :)
    Lady Estrogen recently posted..Im Not PerfectMy Profile

    • Lynn
      March 27, 2011

      I look back on that and think “God, I’m a shit mom!” hahaha

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