This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which moms do lots of shit so you don’t have to

I was 27 when I got married and Kevin and I were living up in New Jersey.  We got married in North Carolina and my mother handled everything and I literally mean everything.  She found the date, she chose the invitations, she got the flowers, she addressed all the invitations, she planned the reception; my mom did everything.  Sure she told me what she was up to and I Okayed all the stuff but basically, other than choosing my own dress, she did all the rest.

 

Now, I hate doing detail stuff and at the time I had a full time job in New York City, which I commuted to on a daily basis but still, I never really gave it much thought.  I just assumed she enjoyed it; that she wanted to do it.  I mean, every time I needed new furniture or moved to a new apartment; stuff would just arrive for me.  After all, we lived in the “furniture” capital of the world so you could never buy stuff cheaper than North Carolina.

 

So if I moved to a new apartment and needed a dining table, my mom went out and found one and had it shipped up.  Occasionally on bigger items, like the couches Kevin and I got when we moved in together, we would go down there and pick out the items ourselves but mostly, my mom just took care of a lot of the bullshit in my life.

 

Now I find myself in a similar situation and you know what? I fucking hate it.  I’m not a detail person; I’m more of a big picture person.  Shopping and buying stuff irritates the hell out of me.  I even purchased my wedding dress in one afternoon.   Seriously, my mom flew up to NYC and we got to go to some of the wedding designers showrooms (my mom’s connections, not mine).  For me the entire process was like this.  Dress A or Dress B?  Ok, A.  Dress A or Dress C?  Ok C.  Dress C or Dress D?  I had it figured out in about 2 hours because I hate shopping and I know what I do and don’t like.  I didn’t mind that because it was fast and simple.

 

Now however, I’m doing all that stuff for Keely and it bores me to tears.  Here’s the background.  Keely is moving into an apartment for her senior year at Duke.  The lease starts June 1st but Keely is up in DC for the summer so no worries, no pressures right?  Wrong.

 

Although I wanted to have the place ready in July for Andie to stay in when she was down at Duke working in a lab, I had NEVER once anticipated that the apartment would be SUBLET on June 1st.  So, all of a sudden we need a fully furnished apartment by TOMORROW.  Yeah, we have some extra furniture but we definitely didn’t have extra bedroom sets and stuff.

 

So this weekend Kevin and I went out and purchased a bed that Keely could use this year and then either her or Andie could use the next year.  Of course, being us, we ended up purchasing a new bed for ourselves as well so that little sojourn turned out to be quite expensive.  At any rate, we bought the bed and I’m trying to make arrangements to have it delivered…tomorrow.

 

But, the lease isn’t signed yet.  Keely doesn’t know which room is hers.  We don’t know if we can get the other furniture down in time and of course, Kevin has a JOB so he can’t go down there tomorrow to set it up.  So I have a dresser and table here to get down there which is ALL too damn heavy for me to deal with myself.  Not to mention that I hate this shit.

 

As I was mentally bitching about the entire situation I realized two things.  First, when I did have to move I arranged all this shit by myself but also, my mom did WAY, WAY more for me that I ever realized or gave her credit for.  Alas, she’s been gone for over 14 years now so I can’t really thank her and as I’m completely losing both my memory and my mind, I can’t remember if I ever actually did.

 

At any rate, I just want to say to everyone out there.  THANK YOUR MOM.  She does all sorts of shit so you don’t have to and …

 

 

SHIT!  The phones ringing; I better answer it because it might be the apartment manager DAMN IT! …

 

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12 Comments

  1. Don E. Chute
    June 2, 2011

    Yep, for a looooonnnnggggg time I have been saying to myself…” If I hadda known”…., I would have been A LOT nicer to my parents.

    My parents are gone. But like Lynn said…”THANK YOUR MOM”. Since Father’s Day is coming up, THANK YOUR DAD’S TOO DAMMIT!

    Aloha.
    Don E. Chute recently posted..MEMORIAL DAY 5302K11My Profile

    • Lynn
      June 2, 2011

      yeah…it’s a bummer having them gone. I felt like i appreciated them but i hope they knew it too

  2. Leigh Ann
    June 2, 2011

    I left way to much up to my mom for my wedding, thinking that she would actually help plan it like she did my sister’s. But it just turned into a lot of arguing over what I wanted for location, decor, reception, food, rehearsal dinner..everything had a negative answer shot back at me. We almost moved the wedding here to Austin and she almost got herself uninvited.

    I think if you can help your children with a lot of that stuff, then great. But I’m sure it’s still a headache. Good luck!

    • Lynn
      June 2, 2011

      hahaha…well, when they’re young then OF COURSE you need to but my kids are 21, 20 and 17… they can start dealing with their own shit

  3. Sarcasm Goddess
    June 2, 2011

    I don’t know what I’d do without my mom. I can’t even buy a plant without calling and asking her for advice. “What kind of fertilizer? For acid lovers? I can’t find it. No, I don’t want to ask anyone. They scare me. Can’t you just meet me here and buy everything for me?” I was so intimidated by the process I put the plant back and left the store empty-handed.
    Sarcasm Goddess recently posted..UPDATED- Now with an Award at the End- Hurry Go Look! Letter to Lady at Fresh Market Who is Living Proof that a PhD Should be Required Before One is Allowed to Make Sandwiches for the General PublicMy Profile

    • Lynn
      June 2, 2011

      That’s pretty funny…

  4. Heather
    June 2, 2011

    I tend to think, well, thats just what mom’s do. But I also know from experience it isnt always the truth – because I was on my own at 17 – and never had any assistance with anything from choosing my college courses to help with my newborns – planning a wedding, moving, etc..forget about it! That said, I’m “momming” the way I think it should be done, like you. And not because we have to, because like you said, we don’t have to. My kids aren’t off at college yet, but I certainly plan to help them as much as possible when they leave the nest. Real life is rough enough, why not help our kids as much as we can?

    • Lynn
      June 2, 2011

      There certainly are a lot of pressures on kids nowadays…that’s for sure…however, my kids do need to do some of this crap themselves.

  5. Yes, it’s quite frustrating to only realize things like this YEARS later when the tables have turned. It really is not a fun job but I always thought that it’s just the way life is. Sometimes you want a bit of your own choice though when it comes to big things such as you.

    Anyway, it sweet though that mom’s DON’T complain – I never really knew if my mom was actually happy about doing everything she did for me but its amazing that they still do it all even though they’re busy, too.
    Gabriella – The Stepford Wife recently posted..It’s All About Image- ReallyMy Profile

    • Lynn
      June 3, 2011

      Yeah…I obviously never thought about whether my mom was happy doing all that stuff. Now she’s gone and I’ll never know.

      Thanks for commenting.

  6. Name *
    June 7, 2011

    Wow, your mom was very helpful!! I was just the opposite, I wanted to EVERYTHING myself. I felt so independent. I am thankful to my mom for that too. My oldest daughter is the same way, she is so independent and I couldnt be more proud of her…. But the secret is, we still looked at our moms, and still look back to the way they did things: cooked, sewed, raised us, helped my dad, and so much more. She wasnt perfect, but she was an inspiration more than she realizes. I think we all take away many traits from our moms whether we know it or not. and one more thing: I also learned what NOT to do.. but that might take 3-4 pages. Example: Dont invite your perverted brother into the house, Dont let your daughters 16 year old boy friend stay the night…. enough said.

    I just found your blog today and I love it!!! I wish you were my neighbor, you are hilarious!!! I have a sister-in-law that keeps me laughing too. Me? I am way too serious!!! I am trying to lighten up and look at life with humor….

    • Lynn
      June 7, 2011

      Thanks for finding me. You sound like a fun person too! I parent by remembering all the wild shit I did and then not allowing those situations to happen. But, I’m almost done…my kids are older now!

      Hope to see you around again…and again

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