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In which my day goes downhill rapidly


I meant to be writing about Andie’s graduation and how Melinda Gates spoke and what she talked about but instead, I’m going to tell you how sideways this day has gotten.


I started out well with me going to my normal Monday morning Pilate’s workout; so far, so good.  Then I needed to go to the vets to pick up my cat and dog, Butterscotch and Tucker.  I get there and I take out my credit card, or in this case, I don’t take out my credit card because it’s missing.


Shit! Where the hell is my credit card? I just spent the weekend down at Duke but what did I pay for versus what did Kevin pay for? I think I paid for dinner Saturday night but I can’t remember when all of a sudden, I’m told that the doctor needs to speak to me.


Why does the Vet need to speak to me? What now animals, what now?  So I go in and sit down and try to figure out whether it’s my dog who’s dying at the slowest rate ever or my cat who is constantly trying to kill herself through unusually stupid methods.  Well, mostly by one method of eating string and destroying her digestive system therefore requiring extensive, and expensive I might add, surgery not once but TWICE.


So she walks in with Butterscotch (of course) who is in her carrier trying to cram her tiny head (probably because it’s lacking a brain) through the mesh and we have the following conversation:


Vet:                 your cat has broken off two of her front teeth


Me:                  what? When?


Vet:                 it looks recent so probably on the trip into the vets


Me:                  are you serious?


Vet:                 yes, you can look at her carrier and see she was trying to gnaw her way out.


Me:                  and her teeth broke off?


Vet:                 yes, two of them at the base


Me:                  what the hell is wrong with this cat?


Vet:                 at least she didn’t eat any string


Me:                  I only live a mile from here.  She was in the carrier for 5 minutes


Vet:                 you are going to want to get a hard carrier so this doesn’t happen again


(Then I begin to wonder how many teeth she has and how many more times she could break them off at a two per rate?)


Me:                  do they hurt her?


Vet:                 apparently not … but you need to make sure they don’t get infected


Me:                  are you kidding me?


Vet:                 … no and also sometimes her lip might get caught on the broken teeth


Me:                  what?


Vet:                 but probably not


And then I looked at the cat as she is cramming her head into the mesh with her eyes closed and thought, “this might be the stupidest cat in the world.”


I texted my family and brought the animals home to find out that Carol, who has been with me for 22 years, was just in a huge car wreck and I took off for the hospital.  Thankfully, while the car was totaled, she is okay other than being sore and whiplashed.


Now I’m home and I need to track down my card, check out my cat’s teeth and make sure Tucker hasn’t crapped all over my house so that’s my day.  How’s yours?

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  1. Firstly, I am glad your friend is okay.

    Secondly, I laughed all the way through this which is kind of awful…..your cat sounds very much like my dogs; one of which managed to eat her way through half a box of dog sausages the other day – I told her it served herself right not long after when she drank a whole bowl of water (presumably they were salty) and spent most of the evening in the back garden apologising to her stomach.

    As for my day; so far so good but then it is only 7.30am – according to a work colleague I am far too cheerful for this time of day – must be the singing as loud (and badly) as possible to P!nk on full volume in the car on the way in to work…..
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    • Lynn
      May 14, 2013

      yeah…sometimes these days are like WTF???

  2. Sherry
    May 14, 2013

    Wow – how did the cat break her teeth off on a MESH carrier? That is one weird cat you’ve got – and a really crappy day! Tomorrow will be better.

    • Lynn
      May 14, 2013

      i know right? we can’t figure out how stupid this animal actually is

  3. Sheri
    May 14, 2013

    I was afraid my cat would tear out her claws trying to get out of the very nice mesh carrier I have for her. It’s exciting trying to get on the expressway with a cat losing it’s mind on the seat next to you. I suppose I should invest in plastic.
    I hope Carol feels better soon.

  4. Jester Queen
    May 14, 2013

    So glad butterscotch is stupid but basically OK. And that there’s a way to prevent her from doing that to her stupid self again. Dumb kitty. Also glad Carol was OK. It was clearly a day to go the hell back to bed to hide from the world out to get you!!

  5. leanne tankel
    May 15, 2013

    About the same–thanks for asking…

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