This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which my spine sucks

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“You have the spine of a 70 year old!”

 

So basically, that’ show my doctors appointment at the osteoporosis clinic started out today. It went downhill from there.

 

As it turns out, my spine is a mess with arthritis and osteoporosis and I guess I’m headed for some shots to try to keep it where it is.

 

I was given 3 options:

 

  1. Just take calcium and vitamin D and do a recheck in two years. The thing is, my Vitamin D level and my calcium level are great so what’s the point of waiting two years? Obviously that isn’t the problem.

 

  1. Try Fosomax. Well there’s pretty many side affects and it stays in your bones and this sounds a bit intrusive and … no

 

  1. Try Prolia. This seemed like the best option. I take a shot twice a year and hopefully it helps me build back the bones. The thing is some people get a huge rash and sometimes there’s major jaw damage and did I mention that sometimes your bones spontaneously break? Yeah, there’s that.

 

I wasn’t too thrilled after my little trip to the doctor so I called Kevin:

 

Me:                  I have the spine of 70 year old

Kevin:             that’s not good

Me:                  I’m turning into my mother

Kevin:             I’m sorry

Me:                  pretty soon I’m going to be one of those old people in the shape of a C

Kevin:             you’re exaggerating

Me:                  my future is a life of just seeing people’s feet

Kevin:             (laughing) I doubt tha t

Me:                  someone will say to me “did you see the sunset?” and I’ll say, “No, I would have had to lie on my back to see it” because all I’ll see is peoples feet soon!

Kevin:             thank god you have your shrink appointment next

 

Well that’s true.

And that’s my day … and life … how about you?

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4 Comments

  1. Cynthia K
    September 26, 2014

    Oh, Lynn. That’s no bueno. Maybe they can stick you in a brace like Lisa Kudrow wore in Tony & Michelle’s High School Reunion if your gaze starts slanting downhill. If not, we will organize a Tilt Lynn Support Group where you’ll ride around on a dolly and if you need to look up at something, we’ll just tilt you back. Solutions are EVERYWHERE.

    • Lynn
      September 26, 2014

      hahaha…solutions are EVERYWHERE is the best response ever!!!

  2. Julie
    September 26, 2014

    I love Cynthia’s plan. We can pimp out a dolly so you travel in style. I throw in some bungee cords to keep you secure, and if you keep us laughing, I’ll even add a cup holder.

  3. xmundt
    September 27, 2014

    Consider Taoist Tai Chi. Or, Dr. Lamb’s Tai Chi for Health. many benefits, and very gentle on the body.

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