In which one of them hated me

As if I didn’t have a totally crap nights sleep, I woke up this morning which is SUNDAY by the way and saw that one of my posts had published.  I only publish Monday to Friday so the mistake can only be blamed on one person and that would be me.

Then I had to decide do I just keep it up and count it as Monday’s post or do I take it down?  These are the types of decisions that I hate to make before coffee.  Speaking of coffee, I’m off to get some.  Hold on … (cue elevator music here)

I’m back! Sorry it took so long but I’m used to drinking coffee in my “to go” cups but they were all dirty so I put it in a regular coffee cup and THEN I walked too fast so some spilled so then I had to clean that up.  UGGGHHHH… anyway, now I’m finally back.

So the thing is that tomorrow is April 15^th and I had a post up about taxes so I really didn’t want this “bird” post up so I took it down and put it up for Tuesday and got the post ready for tomorrow and what I really am is sleepy but I wanted to tell you why I didn’t sleep well.

Ok, that was long and convoluted but here goes. I had terrible nightmares and dreams last night and I’m not going to get into that right now (mostly because I haven’t had near enough coffee yet) but I’m going to tell you why I was sooooo pissed that I could NOT fall asleep and was probably the cause of much of my nightmares. (Not all because I also watched a scare, albeit incredibly stupid, movie before bedtime.)

So I used to be in weekly Mahjong game for years.  I got invited by a woman who is close to me and is 20 years older than I am so as you can imagine, all the participants were older than I was.  At any rate, I had been playing with this group of women for probably about 5 years.  That’s a long time for a weekly game.  I can’t say that I loved it but I liked seeing my friend and that was enough to keep going.

Most of the conversation was about grandchildren (not me, I didn’t have any) and travel and whatnot as most of the women were in that stage of life.  Other than me, there were 4 women.  So the game disbanded and the reason given was that everyone was traveling and gone so much and we were going to take a break. Like I said, that was fine by me.

A few months ago I found out that the game started back up and I was curious as to why I wasn’t invited but I didn’t care that much because by then I was pretty busy doing other stuff.  BUT the other day Kevin and I were over at my friends’ house and somehow the mahjong game came up and we had the following conversation:

Me:                  so I can’t believe you guys started up without me

Friend:            it just sort of happened

Me:                  I guess that one of them really didn’t like me and it was all a ruse to get rid of me (so actually, I said this as a joke)

Friend:            well, you can always start you own game and exclude them

Me:                  wait! I was right? One of them didn’t want me?

Friend:            well …

Me:                  Oh my god, which one was it?

Friend:            I can’t tell you that

And she wouldn’t so I narrowed it down to who I thought it would be.  Later I was telling Kevin that I was so totally pissed about this.

Me:                  it really pisses me off

Kevin:             I can’t believe it’s bothering you

Me:                  well it is

Kevin:             this is just like that time that you came home EVERY DAY saying you hated your job and then they fired you and you were pissed EVEN THOUGH YOU HATED IT

Me:                  it’s not the same

Kevin:             it is, you wanted out anyways. You kept saying so

Me:                  yeah, but apparently somebody was playing Mahjong with me for YEARS and they didn’t like me but they never said anything.  That’s so totally dishonest.  I hate people who aren’t upfront

And that’s why I couldn’t sleep. I know there are plenty of people who don’t like me but I hate when somebody pretends everything is all hunky dory when in fact, they don’t even want to be around me so YES, I would prefer someone had said something to me and I was asked to leave the game.

Now I’m sitting around wondering which of the 3 women who acted like that liked me didn’t in fact, want me in the group.  And what was the reason because I have no clue.  It totally pisses me off and that’s why I couldn’t sleep.

People, just be honest out there.  If you don’t like someone don’t pretend you do.  Then it just drives people nuts trying to figure out why.

At least, that’s my opinion.  Now, which one was it? Hmmmmm …

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