This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
I’ve been doing Pilates in some form or another for about 6 years. I’ve been doing specialized equipment classes for at least 4 of those years, which is what makes the following conversation so funny.
Pilates has a bunch of equipment and classes from mat classes (self-explanatory: they’re done while laying on a mat), Tower classes (done on a Pilates Tower), Reformer classes (done on a Pilates Reformer) and now they even have Pilates Xtend and Pilates Stick classes.
I just tried this new Xtend stick class and it’s so difficult. Nonetheless, this post is about a conversation I had this morning while going to my weekly reformer class. So I got to class and just went to lie down on the reformer before class hoping that my coffee would kick in soon. (Don’t you love that? When you know you’ve had the coffee but you are still waiting for the kick in the ass the caffeine will provide?)
My instructor, Amanda, said to me:
Amanda: Lynn, you need to put that in First Gear
Me: Put what in first gear?
Amanda: The reformer
Me: The reformer has gears?
Amanda: yes, you know how to do it
Me: I have never done that. In fact, I never heard of these “so-called gears”
Amanda: Well, they have them
Me: You’ve never mentioned them before
Amanda: you just don’t ever listen
Now this is true; I mean I LISTEN but I’m often spaced out
Me: ok, so what do I do?
Amanda: unhook the springs and move the stick
Me: the stick is the gear?
Amanda: yes, and then put the block in
Me: I can’t find any block
Amanda: good grief Lynn, here’s the block
Me: ok done … now what?
Amanda: put the springs back on
Me: why is it called first gear if it’s in the second slot?
Amanda: I don’t know. I didn’t invent Pilates or the name
Me: well what’s the other gear called?
Amanda: negative gear
Me: that’s incredibly stupid
Amanda: if it’s ok by you, can we start the class now?
And I looked around and the other 3 people were patiently waiting for me to be a moron. I guess I should say as per usual. There was a new person there and on her first class she was better than I’ll ever be. When I asked her about it she said she is a former dancer. Those former dancers are always better at Pilates. I can never remember the jargon.
Just today I totally forgot where the sacrum was even though not too long ago I wrote a post on it. Pilates is a test for my brain too it seems.