This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
In which porcupines masturbate
Sometimes when I’m just hanging out on my computer and I’m bored, I’ll randomly check out Facebook Chat to see if Andie is on. If she is, like today, I’ll send her a little message and occasionally, she’ll respond. This conversation took place earlier.
4:48p (Me)
Why you being such a hater?
4:48pm (Andie)
WTF?
What are you talking about?
4:49pm (Me)
nuffin
4:49pm (Andie)
Did you know?
4:49pm (Me)
What?
4:49pm (Andie)
That female peakcocks are called peahens???
4:49pm (Me)
No..I didn’t
That’s never come up
What’s a peakcock?
hahaha
fun fun fun fun
4:49pm (Andie)
peacock
4:49pm (Me)
I know
4:49pm (Andie)
You’re dumb
4:50pm (Me)
I’m not stupid…
Well, not completely stupid
4:50pm (Andie)
Did you know bees do dances based on the position of the sun to direct people to food?
4:50pm (Me)
Did you know you’re in college and I’m not?
Did you know it is physically impossible for a pig to look up at the sky?
4:51pm (Andie)
Did you know the little birds that sit on rhinos are parasites, not friends?
4:51pm (Me)
Did you know that Porcupines masturbate?
Actually, I DID know that
About rhinos…not porcupines
Did you know that lions can mate up to 50 times a day?
4:52pm (Andie)
This is a dumb conversation
4:53pm (Me)
You started it
Where are you?
Ok Andie…this is all good and well but I’m incredibly busy
So I’m going now
Yep. This is a standard 5 minute interaction between Andie and myself. Oh social media, how did we survive without you? If any of you like stupid conversations, I’m always up for one.
I’m just saying…
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You had me at peacock.
And for the record, I totally think you’re more nuts that I am – not that it’s a contest…
Wait. Is it a contest? That would be cool.
Yeah…I like to have fun with my kids and there is a good chance they’re demented as a result! Hahaha
Did you know that it’s illegal in Florida to have sex with a porcupine? Now….enough people had to have done that, don’t you think, before they would pass a law like that? I don’t think there’s one against sex with skunks…
that’s unbelievable to me…and now, i’m curious why anyone would try that? and how? good god…now my mind is off on a horrible tangent
Teasing your kids is the best sport EVER! The best one, though, is telling them you’re having sex with their dad! THAT really gets them! But then I’ll think about my parents and want to puke! So maybe the joke is really on ME!
Pamela D Hart recently posted..Swift Kick in the Butt
yeah…i really don’t talk to my kids about my relationship with their father to that extent…my mom once did with me and it was like MOM, STOPPPPPPP
Oh gosh, don’t misunderstand, I don’t get into DETAILS! That’s GROSS! Just us mentioning sex get’s our kids all grossed out! And that’s what’s so funny.
so kinda like shock therapy
Good Gawd, I learned more fro you and Andie here than all of the Discovery Channel and maybe some of Natgeo, combined!!!
but is the pig thing true? I saw that Charlotte’s Web movie and Wilbur did look up at the sun…so maybe we could fact check it.
also how sad is it that I found you by clicking your link at the Blogess today and when I read your peahen line, I thought “Hey I just learned that from someone too!!”
sigh.
Well,I’m so glad that you found my blog and i certainly hope you’ll come back..of course, it’s not always this informative
These are my favorite type of conversations.
And 50 times a day. Good Lord. Are they not afraid of chaffing and such?
Hahahaha…chafing
Love it! Those conversations are the best. I have mine via texts tho. And all my husband has to say is “Honey, let’s go make out like the ship is going down.” All the teenagers leave and we get the remote.
Name * recently posted..Captain Jack Sparrow
hahaha…that is so funny. We will have to use that sometime.