This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which she does phone sex

The other week Kevin and I went to drop Daniel off for The Junior Backpacking trip.  At the school my kids attend(ed), every year each grade has a “trip” that they go on beginning in fourth grade.  What begins as a simple overnight eventually culminates in the backpacking trip.

 

Keely hated it, Andie loved it and we had yet to see how Daniel felt about it.  I wasn’t too concerned since the kid climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro the previous summer so I knew the hiking wasn’t the problem.  No, the hard part of the trip is that it’s six days in the Pisgah National Forest and you literally carry EVERYTHING you need.  That includes food, sleeping bag, clothing, tents, tarps, and water filtration systems.  I mean everything so your pack is pretty big and pretty heavy.

 

At any rate, Daniel disappeared the minute we got there so of course, all the parents were using it as a social opportunity because once your kids get older, you don’t always run into the adults anymore.  After all, it’s not like I’m setting up play dates that require me to attend.  So, we’re walking around chatting and I run into someone who I’ve know forever but rarely see.  We’ve always gotten along great but I just don’t bump into her.  I thought I’d share our conversation because it was awesome!

 

Me:                  Mary! How are you?

 

Mary:              I’m great, how are you doing?

 

Me:                  good, good…what have you been up to?

 

Mary:              I’m working and my new job is going great!

 

Me:                  I didn’t know you had a job.

 

Mary:              yeah, it’s pretty new

 

Me:                  What do you do?

 

Mary:              I do phone sssss….

 

Me:                  (interrupting) Phone sex?

 

Mary:              (laughing) Yeah Lynn, I do phone sex.

 

Me:                  (now we’re cracking up) I bet you’re awesome at it!

 

Mary:              Yeah, I like that I can be creative and I never have to say the same thing twice.

 

Me:                  I can totally see you right now (and I lower my voice and say) Hello big boy, how are you today?

 

Mary:              Yeah, it’s different for me.  It was a great departure from just being a mom.

 

Me:                  It’s like that movie with Anne Hathaway

 

So we’re cracking up and another friend comes up and says:

 

Barbara:         What are you two talking about that’s so funny?

 

Me:                  Mary has a new job doing phone sex.

 

Barbara:         What?

 

Me:                  PHONE SEX!

 

Mary:              (laughing) No Barbara, I really am in Phone Systems.

 

Barbara:         Oh

 

Me:                  So what is that anyways?

 

And Mary launches into this long explanation about what phone systems are and how they integrate phone systems in with the computer and yada, yada, yada.

 

Finally, she finishes her explanation and I look at her and say:

 

Me:                  I like the phone sex explanation better.  I’d stick with that.

 

And then we all crack up and realize that the kids have left and none of us said goodbye.  Oh well, it’s more important that I get a blog post than say goodbye to my child for a week.  Don’t cha think?

 

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20 Comments

  1. Katja Brown
    June 17, 2011

    This conversation must have taken place quite a while ago because I remember that just the other day you posted that your son was out for some kind of graduation party until 3.30 a.m.

    Anyway, I’d stick with your answer as well: Phone sex is much more interesting than phone systems!

    • Lynn
      June 17, 2011

      it was actually the week before his prom..so about two weeks ago

      • Katja Brown
        June 17, 2011

        So what grade is he currently in? You only mention that “they go on beginning in fourth grade. What begins as a simple overnight eventually culminates in the backpacking trip.”

        • Lynn
          June 17, 2011

          He was a junior…11th grade. He will be a senior next year.

  2. Pamela D Hart
    June 17, 2011

    I like your job description better too. It goes better with the whole “Weiner” theme that’s goin’ on in the media right now. I’m just sayin…

    • Lynn
      June 17, 2011

      Yeah…it was a pretty funny conversation

  3. Lady Estrogen
    June 17, 2011

    Isn’t the lie usually better than the truth? HAHA

  4. NotJustAnotherJennifer
    June 17, 2011

    Ha ha ha!!

  5. Reid Peterson
    June 17, 2011

    I was hoping I could talk “Phone Systems” business with your friend. (Only kidding)

    • Lynn
      June 17, 2011

      Hahaha…pretty funny

  6. Don E. Chute
    June 18, 2011

    That’s a job you really have to stand up for what you believe in. It also fills a gap for the short-term.

    Regardless it allows one too really reach out and touch someone!

    Happy Fathers Day and Aloha From Sunny South Florida!

    • Lynn
      June 18, 2011

      Hahaha…I don’t think I’d be good at that job

  7. Julie Bernucci
    June 18, 2011

    I saw a brown tee-shirt yesterday on a big, handsome young man still crumpled from sleep. It said “I’m with big stupid’ and had an arrow pointing down. Loved your blog today.

    • Lynn
      June 18, 2011

      Thanks

  8. Evil_Cat_Grrl
    June 19, 2011

    Why would would you work in Phone Systems when you could work in Phone Sex?

    Phone Sex would be a lot more interesting, is all I’m saying…;-)

    • Lynn
      June 19, 2011

      I agree! Perhaps iy would set a bad example for her kids.

  9. Theresa Sonoda
    June 19, 2011

    Got me some chuckles with this one. Thanks Lynn! LMAO

    • Lynn
      June 19, 2011

      Thanks…and how have you been doing?????

  10. Brittany {mommy words}
    June 20, 2011

    I will so not be telling my husband that my sister in law Mary does phone sex. I would be expected to learn it too and engage in it regularly while hubs travels. I’m thinking I should ask her to describe phone systems to me. That would just put him to sleep. Much easier!

    • Lynn
      June 20, 2011

      yeah, after we stopped laughing her real explanation was sooooo long. i love mary

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