This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which she inherited beach towels


I thought this was amusing so I’m sharing it with you; don’t worry, I have permission.


My parents died when I was in my 30’s.  Obviously, when my mom died I didn’t have to do anything but mourn but when my dad died I was the executor.  I have two brothers so basically we divided the estate into thirds.  My dad had gotten remarried and his new wife told us to take whatever we wanted of my parents things so what I did was have each of us make a list of what we wanted.


I then went through the list and tried to accommodate everyone’s request and there really weren’t very many overlaps and all was well.  I guess I was a bit spoiled because when I talk to other people things aren’t always so neat, in fact they can get downright messy.


Case in point.  My friend Amy is in town (she said I could write this) because her mother is moving from her house of 60 plus years to a retirement community.  She has two sisters and things don’t always go smoothly between the three of them.  One sister is the sole executor but both of the sisters have a bit of a nasty streak.


Each time Amy has come to town over the past years, little things have “disappeared” from the house.  Things like jewelry, silver, you know … all the good and expensive stuff.  This, of course, upsets Amy because she has kids too and they would love some of their grandmother’s stuff.


Yesterday, she came into town to assist in the actual move to the new place.  When I picked her up from the airport she had a voicemail from her sister who had just left.  The voicemail said, “I hope you got my email.”


So Amy went to look for the email and the instructions Amy was left with were:


Please clean out the refrigerator and freezer and “we think that you should have all the beach towels as mom doesn’t need them anymore.”


Amy read this to me and I laughed and laughed and laughed.


Why did I laugh?


First, out of all the things in that house including artwork, furniture, collectables, silver, etc. the sister offered her “beach towels.”


Second, did I mention that Amy lives in California and her mom lives in North Carolina and how the hell is she going to get a whole slew of beach towels out there?


But third, and most importantly, Amy lives in Manhattan Beach and has for over 20 years.  Do her sisters really think that she owns no beach towels?  I just thought it was so funny.  This morning on the way to her mom’s house we had the following conversation:


Amy:               I just can’t wait to see my new beach towels


Me:                  It just kills me.  Do they really think that you have none?


Amy:               my sisters are crazy


Me:                  perhaps they think that you’ve been letting your kids drip dry for 20 years


Amy:               it’s basically child abuse


Me:                  it is, after all its’ the Pacific, not the Atlantic


Amy:               true, it’s much colder


Me:                  you’re lucky you haven’t been arrested


Amy:               my kids will be so pleased that we finally have beach towels


Me:                  hey, this would make a great blog post


Amy:               yeah, it would.  Feel free to use it.


And so I did.  What kind of ridiculous things do your siblings do? I can’t even go into the crap mine do because my brothers see this blog but I promise you, when my parents died I didn’t get the towels.

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  1. Julie
    April 24, 2013

    My parents are in the process of moving back here (they realize the need for some help) after 24 years in Florida. While unpacking them, all my mother kept repeating was,”If you like it, get a piece of tape and put your name on the bottom.”

  2. Jester Queen
    April 24, 2013

    Fuck. I feel for Amy. She’s going to have to fight for the things that her kids should have. Which sucks. My sister and I would have been similarly contentious, but she killed herself, saving me the trouble. (Sorry. I’m sure that sounds cold. If you’d known my sister, you’d get it.)

    • Lynn
      April 24, 2013

      Wow. I don’t even know what to say. Sounds like a tough relationship. I’m sorry

  3. Name *
    April 25, 2013

    Thanks Jester Queen. Things are just things. My cousins and Aunts and Uncles and fabulous friends keep telling me that I have them and their love and that can’t be stolen. My kids are old enough to say things don’t really matter for happiness.
    And I understand your comment totally!

  4. Theresa
    April 25, 2013

    As one of 11, I totally get this post…
    On another note, the towels speak to me… When my husband and I got married 30 years ago, my mother -in- law was not pleased…He 100 percent Italian/Catholic marrying the Irish/Catholic/Jewish mix was not a good choice in her eyes…So, she told people it would never last, so don’t bother on good (i.e. registered gifts)wedding gifts. just give them towels ore something like that…. Towels upon towels upon towels we received and used for the first 20 years. Meanwhile, we did not get one toaster or blender. The marriages she sanctioned? Divorced. Ours? The towels are long gone, but we are still going strong… So, I take towels as the ultimate insult. Especially old towels. That is just weird. Use them in packing boxes.

    • Lynn
      April 26, 2013

      hahaha…my mother in law cried when Kevin got engaged…

  5. Understanding
    April 27, 2013

    It’s not about the sisters. It’s about the egocentric Mom who was not emotionally supportive & raised her girls to compete against one another.

    • Lynn
      April 27, 2013

      I agree with this comment completely

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