This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
Today the conversation in Pilates was about “laminating.” WAIT! WHAT?
Yeah, you heard me. Here’s how it came about.
I went to my normal class on Friday at 9:30. I got there and couldn’t find my Pilates shoes. (Yes, I have Pilates shoes… shut up). I’ve only had them about 2 weeks so I was impressed that it had taken 4 classes to lose them.
After searching my car I went into the studio and there were my shoes. Apparently I had forgotten them on Wednesday. (Typical) I was taking a class with two other people and the instructor, Amanda, was teaching. (Well THAT was a stupid sentence. OF course the instructor was teaching. I thought about changing the sentence but then I thought why pretend I’m a good writer now right? Rhetorical, don’t answer)
The conversation turned to last night when one of the other people in my class, Ellen, pointed out that Amanda had forgotten to show up the day before to teach. Here’s the convo:
Ellen: … so we show up and Amanda isn’t there
Amanda: I can’t believe I forgot it
Ellen: we have been coming Thursday night at 5:30 for 5 years and she forgot
Amanda: well, I was laminating
Me: laminating?
Amanda: yeah, I think I’m addicted to laminating
Me: you got your laminating machine over a month ago
Amanda: I love it
Me: I mean, how much could you possibly have to laminate?
Amanda: I don’t know
Me: are you laminating your bills?
Ellen: that would be funny
Amanda: what?
Me: I can just see it now. I love laminating so much that here’s my electricity bill all laminated
Amanda: that would be hilarious
Shanley: she does love to laminate
Me: are you laminating your taxes?
Amanda: that would be interesting. I’m sorry that I had to sign the taxes with a dry erase pen but I’ve accidentally laminated them
Ellen: she also loves to label things
Me: you know, we have a laminator and Andie used to love to laminate things but I have never laminated anything in my life
Amanda: you don’t know what you’re missing out on
Me: I do have a labeler but rarely label anything
Amanda: that’s how you keep organized
Me: that could also explain why I can never find anything
By now we were all cracking up and the class was a bit out of control. After it was all over, I took off my Pilates shoes and Amanda asked me if I wanted to leave them in the studio, after all she could NOW label me a cubby.
Of course, I accepted because I’ll only lose them again and it’s not every day that someone can label you and you’re ok with it.
So, someone needs to buy the woman a label-gun. Then she can stick a label on and laminate over it just to make sure it stays! Now I want a laminating machine… and Pilates shoes.
Brooke recently posted..Confucibunneh On Revenge
You should def get the shoes…and the laminator
You have such fun toys!
And THIS is why we read. Fucking hilarious, especially the sentence about the redundant sentence.
Hahaha…I know right. I love having asides in the middle of my posts.
I haven’t laminated anything since high school, but I have to admit, it’s fun. I laminated a whole bunch of totally pointless items for the amusement value.
This is awesome sauce. I REALLY heart the lady that wants me to have a label-GUN (whaaaat!!?!? how have I made it 33 yrs w/o said magical item?? and now that it has been brought to my attention…). Thank god I was paraphrase-featured in this funny as fuck blog so I am now forced to re-subscribe & partake in a giggle even on the days that Lynn doesn’t grace me with her presence ;)