This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which the fixings were ass backwards



It’s the little things in life that drive me insane.  Here is a case in point.  The other week I was at the Ritz Carlton in Laguna Nigel for the Mom 2 Summit and I must say, the hotel was gorgeous.  I had very few beefs with the entire weekend other than once you walk down to the beach you gotta walk back up and my room was certainly not centrally located HOWEVER those are things that happen and such as life.


In the mornings the Ritz had a breakfast for the attendees of the conference and first I was a bit annoyed that they had eggs both days and NEVER had oatmeal but that’s not even what this post was about.  This post is about coffee.  Well, it’s not specifically about coffee but it’s about the coffee SET UP.


After I ate my cereal I needed to start ingesting caffeine ASAP and the way I do that is I drink coffee.  So I walk up to the table with the coffee on it and there’s your regular coffee, your decaf coffee and of course there’s hot water for the few tea drinkers amongst us.


I grab two cups (told ya I needed copious amounts of coffee), fill them with coffee and look around for the fixins’ table.  It’s right next to my table so I walk over to that table and add my sweet and low and milk (isn’t this interesting) and look for the stirrer which SHOULD be in the middle of the table but is actually at the other end.  MISTAKE #1.


I stir up my coffee and now I’m good to go and I start looking all over the place for the lids.  Where are the lids? Can’t find them.  Where are the fucking lids? Finally, I’m informed the lids are over on the original table next to the coffee.  MISTAKE #2.


I walk over there and put on the lids and now I need my little brown sleeves because the cups are so hot.


Where are the sleeves? I look around and finally I glance back at the fixins table and there are the sleeves.  WTF?  Why are the sleeves over there? MISTAKE #3!

cups 2

So I’m muttering and bitching and moaning with another woman ALSO looking for the lids and sleeves and I explain to her the ENTIRE process is inefficient.


“They should have the coffee cups with the sleeves next to them.  Then you walk to the fixins table and fix it up and then you put the lid on.  Who puts the lid on and then takes it back off to fix up the stuff?  That’s not at all efficient!”
She agrees with me and asks me if I’m going to let the Ritz know that the setup is ass backwards (my words, not hers) and I inform her that actually “no, I’m just going to write a blog post about it” because people, that’s what I do.  I just make fun of the world but don’t actually change it.


Why am I NOT in charge of the world right???

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