This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
I can’t believe the way people drive nowadays. I mean, I also have a spot of road rage in me but listen to this (or actually read it I suppose … it’s just that I write like I’m telling you a story ya know??).
I was going to a meeting and I needed to get to the highway so I was getting on a 4-lane “city” highway to get there. It was only 3:30 but it was pretty crowded and it took me 3 cycles through the left turn signal to even get on the access ramp.
So I’m about the 6th car to turn left and when I start to merge I see a few cars ahead of me but the far left lane is clear although there’s a FAST approaching car coming up. Nonetheless I have plenty of time so I whip over to the left lane and start passing the cars that are still merging.
All of a sudden the guy who was “fast approaching” literally drives up so fast he’s practically in my back seat. I do what any rational person would do when an asshole drives up your rear end; I tap my brakes.
Well you would have thought the apocalypse had just happened because the asshole starts gesturing and he seems quite put out. I figure “what a jerk” and then I look for a spot to pull into the right hand lane. I only have one more car to pass and then I can get right and I pass it but I, like any reasonable human being, don’t move right until I can see the car in my rear view mirror. After all, that’s what I was taught as a safe driving scenario.
However, as you might have guessed, the asshole literally took off the front end of the other car so he could pass me on the right. So does he pass me? No, he doesn’t. He pulls up next to me and starts waving his hand back in forth in front of his neck.
I’m thinking, “excellent, he realizes that he’s a dick and he’s decided to kill himself” but then he swerves left. Yeah, right at my car. I’m not intimidated because I’m thinking “hey, I’m driving a Land Cruiser” because I drove one for about 20 years EXCEPT I forgot that I no longer have a Land Cruiser, I have a much smaller car. So much for bravery huh?
At any rate, he’s disgusted, keeps doing the stupid neck motion and then speeds off. I’m thinking about reporting him for reckless driving but I realize I don’t have his license plate number and he’s a dick so that’s probably punishment itself because you can never escape that.
As I’m telling this story to Andie later she tells me this back and forth neck things actually means that the son-of-a-bitch wanted to kill ME. ME!!!
I should have fucking reported him … asshole.
On the other hand I did find the entire thing amusing. Especially my false bravado because I forgot I had a smaller car now.