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In which the spider was HUGE


As you know, in the past few months I’ve stepped on a copperhead, had the place checked for mice, eliminated a huge hornets nest that was IN MY WALL and now, to top it off THIS happened:


The set up is that Kevin is taking a shower and I’m washing my face and brushing my teeth. Got it?


Kevin:             Lynn, don’t look behind you (like I would have UNTIL he said that)


Me:                  what?


Kevin:            just do me a favor and don’t look in the bathtub


Me:                  are you kidding me? Now I’m dying to look in the bathtub


Kevin:             trust me and just don’t look


Me:                  do you know me at all?


Kevin:             fine, but I was trying to save you some angst


So I look in the bathtub and HOLY SHIT!


There is the largest goddamn spider EVER!!!


Me:                  oh my god! I think that’s a Brown Recluse


Kevin:             I’m rinsing off and then I’ll kill it


Me:                  I have to take a picture … what the fuck is happening in this house?


Kevin:             get the cat out of here! (cuz she’s all curious and shit)


Me:                  I can’t get a picture. The damn thing keeps moving.


Kevin:             just get out of here


So I get the picture although it’s a bit blurry and I’m not sure you can tell that it was HUGE and then Kevin gets rid of it.


Me:                  DO NOT flush it down the toilet or I’ll never be able to use our bathroom again


Kevin:             I’m going to take it and throw it outside


Meanwhile, I had texted it to everyone in the family and Andie announced she was never coming home again and was now killing herself.


Daniel told me that I wouldn’t die but that my skin would have necrosis if the spider bit me.


Keely didn’t respond.


Kevin killed it.


I Googled it and now I don’t think it was a Brown Recluse; I think it was a WOLF SPIDER and they’re huge.


Also now I’m scared to go to the bathroom in the dark.


Also I called the Terminix guy who has already come out 5 times for the hornets and may be sick of me.


Apparently I’m living in a jungle.


Wish me luck!!

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  1. Ribena Tina @ ribenamusings
    September 29, 2014

    I can relate. As the days get cooler we have huge spiders walking all over our living room most evenings. Which isn’t great becuase Hubby has a real phobia of them.

    He rang me up yesterday when I was in bed at 6am because there was a spider and he was trapped in the living room because it was on the walkway we uses to get to our stairs. Seriously! I could have thrown something at him.

    • Lynn
      September 29, 2014

      OMG…that’s like my girls. I’d kill him. also hahaha

  2. JennW
    September 29, 2014

    I hate that it’s spider season. While I don’t mind spiders, I do mind them in my house. Thankfully I have a built in Spider Killer (aka my cat Lucy). She won’t eat them, thank god, but she’ll kill them, also thank god. I’ve noticed so far this year that the spiders, at least here in Seattle, are HUGE.

    • Lynn
      October 1, 2014

      i see spiders OUTSIDE quite a bit. I’ve been trying to figure out how that damn thing got in the house. It was soooo big

  3. Theresa
    September 29, 2014

    I just read somewhere, that peppermint oil sprayed will keep them at bay… can’t hurt… Hate spiders, but we have them, so I am going to try it.

    • Lynn
      October 1, 2014

      ugghh…isn’t that what i pay the exterminator for????

      • Theresa
        October 3, 2014

        The guy doesn’t want to be unemployed… It is like a doctor…Gives you just enough…to still need him!

        • Lynn
          October 7, 2014

          Hahahs. I don’t know. He’s basically on a salary and he likes me

  4. Lydia
    September 29, 2014

    Might I recommend you just burning the house down and starting over? Somewhere not there. Spiders are bad but I think I would have fled when you discovered the hornets in the wall. Have you been playing Jumanji?

    • Lynn
      October 1, 2014

      hahaha…Jumanji! too funny

  5. Rich D
    October 1, 2014

    I live lakeside in a forest. Our most common spider seems to be the brown recluse and I kill a few each month indoors. Our detached garage has lots of them. My spouse is not happy…haha.

    • Lynn
      October 3, 2014

      ugghh…that’s awful. I’m not sure I would survive

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