This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!
As you know, in the past few months I’ve stepped on a copperhead, had the place checked for mice, eliminated a huge hornets nest that was IN MY WALL and now, to top it off THIS happened:
The set up is that Kevin is taking a shower and I’m washing my face and brushing my teeth. Got it?
Kevin: Lynn, don’t look behind you (like I would have UNTIL he said that)
Kevin: just do me a favor and don’t look in the bathtub
Me: are you kidding me? Now I’m dying to look in the bathtub
Kevin: trust me and just don’t look
Me: do you know me at all?
Kevin: fine, but I was trying to save you some angst
So I look in the bathtub and HOLY SHIT!
There is the largest goddamn spider EVER!!!
Me: oh my god! I think that’s a Brown Recluse
Kevin: I’m rinsing off and then I’ll kill it
Me: I have to take a picture … what the fuck is happening in this house?
Kevin: get the cat out of here! (cuz she’s all curious and shit)
Me: I can’t get a picture. The damn thing keeps moving.
Kevin: just get out of here
So I get the picture although it’s a bit blurry and I’m not sure you can tell that it was HUGE and then Kevin gets rid of it.
Me: DO NOT flush it down the toilet or I’ll never be able to use our bathroom again
Kevin: I’m going to take it and throw it outside
Meanwhile, I had texted it to everyone in the family and Andie announced she was never coming home again and was now killing herself.
Daniel told me that I wouldn’t die but that my skin would have necrosis if the spider bit me.
Keely didn’t respond.
Kevin killed it.
I Googled it and now I don’t think it was a Brown Recluse; I think it was a WOLF SPIDER and they’re huge.
Also now I’m scared to go to the bathroom in the dark.
Also I called the Terminix guy who has already come out 5 times for the hornets and may be sick of me.
Apparently I’m living in a jungle.
Wish me luck!!