This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which the top was off

moisturizer

When no one reads your blog, like way back in the beginning when I was constantly harassing people I know to read my blog (as compared to now, when I’m constantly hassling people I DON’T know to read my blog), you write whatever you want with no explanations necessary.  Now that I’m wildly popular (at least in my own mind) and have a few hundred readers, I find myself referring to earlier posts.  And then I ask myself, do I need to re-explain that post, or link to that post, or just tell people to go back and read the whole damn blog, or what?  Well, that was rhetorical.  The reason I’m asking is that this morning Kevin (my husband for all you newbies out there) and I were discussing moisturizer, or more specifically HIS moisturizer.  So, go back and read this post first so you can catch up.

At any rate, this morning the following conversation took place.  Now keep in mind that it’s February and I’m bipolar and as a result, I’m not very funny right now.  Are you keeping that in mind?  Good.  Now can we continue?  Here’s the convo:

Kevin:             “Lynn, did you use my moisturizer yesterday?”

Lynn:              “No, why would I do that, I have my own moisturizer.”

Kevin:             “Well, I noticed the top wasn’t on the moisturizer”

Lynn:              “… and?”

Kevin:             “So it seemed like something you would do”

Lynn:              “What?”

Kevin:             “You know, leave the top off the moisturizer”

Lynn:              “That does sound like something I would do”

Kevin:             “So did you do that yesterday?”

Lynn:              “Well, I used my moisturizer yesterday, not yours”

Kevin:             “I suppose that since I wasn’t feeling well that I might have forgotten”

Lynn:              “Probably”

Kevin:             “So you noticed yesterday that the top was off”

Lynn:              “Yup”

Kevin:             “I figured you had seen it a few times”

Lynn:              “Yup.  Actually, I was surprised you left the top off”

Kevin:             “At any point, did you consider putting the top back on?”

Lynn:              “Hmmm”

Kevin:             “I mean, I’m sure you were in the bathroom yesterday after I went to work”

Lynn:              “Yeah, I was and I noticed the top was off but…”

Kevin:             “Well, what did you do?”

Lynn:              “I thought, isn’t that unusual, Kevin forgot to put the top on”

Kevin:             “Why didn’t you put the top on?”

Lynn:              “Well, when I was coming in and I was going to the bathroom…”

Kevin:             “… and …”

Lynn:              “And I could see it from the toilet and I thought oh yeah, the top is off…”

Kevin:             “… and …”

Lynn:              “And then I was done so I washed up and left”

Kevin:             “Why didn’t you put the top on?”

Lynn:              “I don’t know!  Maybe because I didn’t take it off?”

Kevin:             “But it’s your precious Kiehls”

Lynn:              “No, its YOUR precious Kiehls, mine’s over there next to my sink with the top on”

Kevin:             “I bet you spent your day wondering ‘why doesn’t Kevin put the top on?’”

Lynn:              “It did cross my mind”

Kevin:             “Did it cross your mind that I was at work all day?”

Lynn:              “I was aware you weren’t home”

Kevin:             “And yet you still didn’t put the top on”

Lynn:              “I was busy!”

Kevin:             “Doing what?”

Lynn:              “Well, let me think…what day was it yesterday?”

Kevin:             “Tuesday”

Lynn:              “Oh yeah! I had a breakfast meeting with some alumni from Hopkins and I was really funny and then I worked out and then I went to buy cat food”

Kevin              (sarcastically) “So you were incredibly busy”

Lynn:              “Yeah”

Kevin              “You sound so excited that you actually accomplished something yesterday”

Lynn:              “Yeah, I did!  I did three things yesterday!”

Kevin              “And yet we still didn’t have dinner?”

Lynn:              “Why do you always have to dwell on the negative aspects?”

Kevin              “Oh my god!  I gotta get ready for work!”

Lynn:              “And don’t forget to put the top on the moisturizer!”

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27 Comments

  1. Name *
    February 10, 2011

    I LOVE these conversations. We have variations of it all the time at my house.

    This was a quite a funny read to start my day today!

    • Lynn
      February 10, 2011

      Thanks…yeah, I must say that there is no lack of silly and inane conversations in this household…especially when I’m involved.

  2. Redshoes51
    February 10, 2011

    Blah!!! Sometimes being single does have its advantages!!!!

    And then again…

    ~shoes~

    • Lynn
      February 10, 2011

      Hahaha…sometimes I suppose but I enjoy being married. After all, having those conversations with yourself is boring…how have you been?

  3. Carla E. Knight
    February 10, 2011

    Because I know both of you, these conversations between you and Kevin are even more funny because I can visualize facial expressions to go along with them. Bud and I have ridiculous conversations all the time but I am unable to reconstruct them in the magical way you do.

    • Lynn
      February 10, 2011

      thanks…i love to recap these conversations with Kevin, he’s always throwing up his hands!

  4. Duffylou
    February 10, 2011

    That’s very tame. There was no throwing of cosmetics involved.
    Your dialog is the very reason I have a separate bathroom from my SO.

  5. Jeanne
    February 10, 2011

    Lynn,
    We have conversations like this all the time but now they are fewer since Matt (the main culprit) is at UNC. You reminded me that I need to reorder my Kiehl’s lip balm #1. I can’t live without it.

    • Lynn
      February 10, 2011

      Hahaha…yep, I don’t think I’m that unusual…I just write them down

  6. Theresa Sonoda
    February 10, 2011

    Never disappointed when I come over here for my giggles. Love it!

    • Lynn
      February 10, 2011

      thanks…tomorrow’s is funny too! in a screwed up kind of way

  7. Jessica D Torres
    February 10, 2011

    Hilarious!

    • Lynn
      February 10, 2011

      yeah…our conversations are ridiculous

  8. Reshma
    February 10, 2011

    As I was reading this, the first that came to my mind was I can see Kara and Lee having this exact conversation. Hillarious!

    • Lynn
      February 10, 2011

      Hahaha…yeah. We do have that dynamic…that would be a funny story!

  9. Alecia
    February 10, 2011

    I am impressed, I cannot even get my husband to wear lotion. I doubt he even knows what moisturizer is.

    • Lynn
      February 10, 2011

      Well, my husband has always stolen my skin stuff…even the masks…he just likes them

  10. Name *
    February 10, 2011

    What a clever post title.

    Smart woman..

    • Lynn
      February 10, 2011

      Hahaha…I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not? Thanks for reading

  11. Manicmultitaskingmama
    February 11, 2011

    I LOVE IT! You always make me laugh. Husbands/guys just don’t get it.

    • Lynn
      February 11, 2011

      i know…but it’s a definite now so i’ll tape it and then upload the fail!

  12. Casey
    February 11, 2011

    That is a little feminita of your guy, but I cry at sappy tv commercials, so I won’t dwell.

    No, I have to dwell a little.

    This was a really really long conversation about something he probably wouldn’t mention at work to his buddies. Maybe he had to get it out of his system? Maybe he’s dying to tell someone at work about how excellent his face cream is, but he knows the crap he’ll get, and he feels protective of it’s miracle juices.

    So it’s kind of a Freudian thing.

    By the way, even though I’m late to the party, I don’t read old posts. So I could be totally mistaken here! :-)

    • Lynn
      February 12, 2011

      Hahaha…not such a femi ine guy but he does have dry skin so he likes his moisturizer. There was a previous post linked to that, I think. Hmmm, I better check

  13. Pixi
    February 12, 2011

    Oh, that was great!! Hahaha!

    And hey, everyone should moisturize. It’s the smart thing to do!

    • Lynn
      February 12, 2011

      hahaha…i can’t even tell you the sheer amount of conversations we have about moisturizer…it’s really quite ridiculous

  14. Mad Woman behind the Blog
    February 13, 2011

    How is it I didn’t see you in the room when DH and I had this same conversation? Okay, it wasn’t Kiehls (he wouldn’t know what that was anyway) and I don’t go to alumni meetings but you got every other detail correct.

    So much for not being funny. Are you sure you’ve got your meds right? because this was funny.

    • Lynn
      February 13, 2011

      Hahaha…actually, my moods have been all over the place but sometimes, I can still be funny. Truthfully, I’m a spoiled brat and I have an awesome husband,

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