This blog is not for the light-hearted or easily offended. If either one of those descriptions applies to you, i would suggest you start drinking before you read this blog. A sense of humor is suggested. If you don't have one that sucks for you … find one and get a life!

In which there’s no cereal




So I hear Daniel coming downstairs at 8:00 and I’m still around the house because, well because I didn’t feel like getting out of bed very frankly.  Even if it WAS Kevin’s birthday and I made him get up by himself.


Me:                  Good morning Daniel! How are you today?


Daniel:            (No answer)


Me:                  Great! And are you going to teach English to the Montagnards?


Daniel:            (No answer)


Me:                  So this must be your last week down there since school starts Monday.


Daniel:            (looking in the cereal cabinet … No answer)


Me:                  Have you enjoyed teaching them?


Daniel:            Mom! Did you buy me more cereal?


Me:                  You just asked me.


Daniel:            Yesterday…


Me:                  Yesterday what?


Daniel:            Yesterday I asked you to get me more cereal.


Me:                  Are we out?


Daniel:            Yeah, I told you that YESTERDAY


Me:                  Ummmm … I forgot


Daniel:            Great! We have NO CEREAL.


Me:                  How about pancakes?


Daniel:            I told you last week we were out of those.


Me:                  Oh.  How about I make you French toast?


Daniel:            I don’t have time


Me:                  How about you stop for a biscuit on the way down there?


Daniel:            I DON’T HAVE TIME!


Me:                  I bet I can find some cereal


Daniel:            There isn’t any


Me:                  (so I’m looking through the cereal cabinet) Why are there 4 boxes of Frosted MiniWheats?


Daniel:            Because last year you thought I liked them and you went nuts and bought a new box 4 separate times!


Me:                  So eat them!


Daniel:            I don’t like them!


Me:                  hmmm … here’s some Golden Grahams


Daniel:            Those are 100 years old… I’ll die if I eat them


Me:                  Nonsense.  Andie ate some last week and she’s still alive


Daniel:            Fine mom!  I’ll have stale cereal.


Me:                  Here you are


Daniel:            Can you get me a spoon?


Me:                  Jeez!  Such high expectations around here.


And there you are.  Just another example of how unappreciated I am.  My entire family dwells on the negative.

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  1. Lou hearn
    August 22, 2011

    I`m about as appreciated in my house as well.

    • Lynn
      August 22, 2011

      what do these kids want? it’s always something

  2. We had that same dilemma over the past several weeks. Our toaster shot craps and had to be sent back to Black and Decker so we could get a new one free of charge. We started going through cereal like there was no tomorrow. Every two or three days we were out again. And then there’d be no backup plan….no toast, no time for anything cooked.

    I actually did a happy dance when the new toaster came.
    Kimberly at Rubber Chicken Madness recently posted..Sweet Elusive Semi-colonMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 22, 2011

      They’re just so INFLEXIBLE around here. Also, they put back EMPTY boxes so it looks like we have food but we really don’t. Only one more year and they’re all gone. I think i’ll make it. MAYBE

  3. nana16033
    August 22, 2011

    does the cereal arguement EVER end with kids?????? iI use to avoid that aisle like the plague!

    • Lynn
      August 22, 2011

      Well, he’s 18 so Maybe NOT!!!

  4. By Word of Mouth Musings
    August 22, 2011

    The empty box thing, the new toilet roll sitting on top of the holder, milk carton with a few drops back in the fridge.
    Why? Probably a plot to drive me insane …

    • Lynn
      August 22, 2011

      The other day, Andie pulled out FIVE empty boxes of cereal. WHY were they in there? I have no idea

  5. Lady Estrogen
    August 22, 2011

    Cereal could never go stale in my house. I often eat it for lunch… and sometimes dinner.
    Although not on the same day – I don’t think. But I’d have to think about it.

    My brain is mush today.

    Mushy like Life cereal that was left too long in the milk.

    I love that.

    But not when referring to my brain, just the cereal.

    Lady Estrogen recently posted..That Beautiful InsanityMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 22, 2011

      well, everyone has their own favorite cereal but Daniel changes around and then his sisters ate some of HIS cereal so what am i? a Mindreader?

  6. angela
    August 22, 2011

    How dare you try to get him to eat cereal he doesn’t like or old cereal? The nerve!

    Also, I will eat the frosted mini wheats. They’re my favorite.

    • Lynn
      August 22, 2011

      come on over…i have 4 boxes…maybe more1

  7. Kathykate
    August 22, 2011

    Lemme guess….17? 18? Fuckhead. Buy some cereal and sprinkle it all over his bed. I get it, I’ve got 19,16,14 and 11 myself. Moody, ungrateful bastards… doncha just luv ’em? My kids have been known to eat meal worms in the cereal. I wish I was joking, but i’m not. ew.

    • Lynn
      August 22, 2011

      18…but he’s a good kid. Most of the time

  8. Dana Strange
    August 22, 2011

    What’s all this uproar over cereal? Don’t you know you’re supposed to keep a secret freezer with ice cream and cake for such occasions? (I find that Oreos and Twizzlers are good if they need to eat on the run – or in the car while driving to school – but if you have fire ants in North Carolina you should stick to potato chips and possibly burritos) Nobody likes an ankle covered in ant bites.

    And by nobody, I mean ME. (wait, did I just say I LIKE an ant bitten ankle?) I’ve got one year left until parent parole, too, but some of them are making noises about returning. I’m off to research undisclosed locations……
    Dana Strange recently posted..Casualty Report……Full Frontal!My Profile

    • Lynn
      August 22, 2011

      Hahaha…gpd I hope nobody moves back home. I barely survived the summer!!! I love my kids but…

      Do we have fire ants here? I don’t even know

  9. Pamela D Hart
    August 22, 2011

    Oh Lynn! You horrible mother! Don’t you have mom-dar to KNOW when the cereal box is empty even though the box is still in the pantry? That they are OUT of peanut butter even though you NEVER use it? They are down to THEIR last drop of shampoo although you haven’t touched the darn bottle? Their jeans don’t fit anymore, even though you don’t wear them! You better go get checked, you must have something WRONG with YOU!

    Although, I’d give him cookies…actually I HAVE given him cookies and said, “Next time, write CEREAL on my freaken shopping list.”

    P.S. I appreciate you! You make me laugh!
    Pamela D Hart recently posted..Words That Warmed My HeartMy Profile

    • Lynn
      August 22, 2011

      thanks Pam! I appreciate that you’re always such a loyal reader!!!

  10. Michele
    August 23, 2011

    I have 3 teenage daughters and I have a pantry that frequently fills up with EMPTY cereal boxes. As the previous poster said, “You’re supposed to have MOM-DAR” with these things, right? I tell my girls that my uterus is only good for finding socks, homework, cordless house phones, and various other misplaced items. It’s NOT good for determining if the 6 cereal boxes in the pantry are full or empty. Sweet little shits, huh?

    • Lynn
      August 23, 2011

      i know…one day my daughter pulled out 5 empty boxes and looked at me like it was my fault. I DON’T EVEN EAT CEREAL!!

  11. Megan @mnmspecial
    August 28, 2011

    I’m really hungry for cereal now. Good thing out cupboard is filled to the brim with every type. I could live on cereal. But your post reminds me of my second child. Can’t ever do anything right for her.

    • Lynn
      August 28, 2011

      there’s always a TON of empty boxes in there and somehow i’m supposed to know that, ridiculous right?

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