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In which they love me

 

This was the BEST gift I got at Christmas!  A LOT of them are inside jokes which I would be happy to explain but without further ado, here’s what my three kids made me for Christmas!!!

 

To Mom, on Christmas…

 

100 reasons why we love mom:

  1. …because she loves Lee Adama….

  2. …because she bakes the best cookies…

  3. …because she lets us eat all the dough before she actually bakes them…

  4.  …because her call sign is Fudgsicle…

  5. …because she gets motion sick playing Halo…

  6. …because of the whiney voice…

  7. …because it’s part of her charm…

  8. …because Sunday is her day off…

  9. …because she’s taking off the rest of December (and maybe January too)…

  10.  …because she’s backed into the garage door three times…

  11. …because all meals are homemade somewhere

  12. …because she puts money in her jeans and forgets about it

  13. …because she gets excited when she finds it in those jeans a long time later

  14. …because she can’t remember any conversations right for her blog…

  15. …because she can’t remember that incident a week ago…

  16. …because she can’t remember the beginning of the book she just finished

  17. …because she can’t remember the reason that came before this one

  18. …because she invented the Martyr Starter Kit

  19.  …because she has a best friend application…

  20. because people actually filled out that application

  21. …because her blog’s name is based on Braveheart

  22. …because her phone case has BSG on it…

  23. .…because she got hustled by old ladies at Mahjong

  24. …because her sexy walk is good enough to land her a spot on the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders…

  25. …because she will NEVER know how to use commas…

  26.  …because she’s so cute

  27. …because she wears tight pants and huge shirts (many of which have holes in them)

  28. …because she hides chocolate from herself

  29. …because she then steals everyone else’s Toblerone bars on Christmas

  30. …because she suggests good books

  31. …because she only does 1% of the work

  32. …because sometimes the 1% is JUST TOO HARD

  33. …because she lets Andie yell at her on the phone

  34.  …because she gave us tan skin…

  35.  …because she’s saving up her niceness for when Keely is incapacitated for four months…

  36. .…because she passed out when Keely needed help getting back in bed because of her vagus nerve…

  37. …because she has Hooker boots…

  38.  …because she wishes she was a surfer

  39. …because she wishes she was a spy

  40. …because she can’t be a spy due to the vagus nerve…

  41. …because she wishes she was a rapper

  42. …because TI was her ring tone

  43. …because she can’t be a rapper because it might hurt her shoulder…

  44.  …because she has a bullet wound…

  45.  …because she wishes she were Starbuck…

  46. …(because Starbuck wouldn’t call; Starbuck wouldn’t call anybody)

  47. …because if she were Starbuck she would end up with Lee (and not as a metaphorical pigeon)

  48. …because she thinks her feet are perfect

  49.  …because she’s always asking us if we’re thinking about her

  50. …because she always asks if our friends miss her

  51. …because she doesn’t always understand what’s socially acceptable and what’s no

  52. …because Tucker is obsessed with her…

  53. .…because of her three redeeming features

  54. …because she met the REO Speedwagon singer on an airplane

  55. …because she reads of fan fiction

  56. …because she did stand-up comedy…

  57.  …because she kept threatening to quit her job and then she got fired…

  58. …because she got a different job in a Chinese restaurant

  59. …because of the pot brownies

  60.  …because people told her she was too weird to do shrooms with

  61. …because she still wants to do shrooms

  62. …because she googled “how to rip someone’s heart out of their chest”…

  63.  …because she laughs the hardest at her own jokes…

  64. .…because she likes apocalypse movies…

  65. …because she likes to watch them and plan what she would do in that situation

  66. …because she wishes she had a particular set of skills…

  67. …because she read the Hunger Games first…

  68. …because she had mad skills at Tetris on gameboy

  69. …because of good-luck beanie babies at swim meets

  70. …because she always came to all of Keely’s swim meets

  71. …because she always came to all of Andie’s field hockey games and tournaments, even when they were away

  72. …because she’s funniest in the bleachers

  73. …because she and Andie found the best Mexican food EVER when they were in California

  74. …because she likes to silently feel superior

  75. …because she couldn’t keep Cum Laude a secret

  76. …because she loves Pandora’s Box and jigsaw puzzles

  77. …because she loves Mahjong Tiles

  78. …because she loves Spider Solitaire

  79. .…because she ordered pepperoni pizzas to a dinner at the Temple

  80. …because she cannot sing the Spiderman song

  81. …because she CAN sing the Phantom of the Opera

  82. …because when she sang Phantom of the Opera it made Keely pee…

  83. …because she always upgrades…

  84. …because she wants to be a professional talk show GUEST…

  85. …because she wants to kill someone with a crossbow…

  86.  …because she really wants to go skeet shooting for some reason…

  87. .…because she bowls overhand (like the most interesting man in the world)

  88. …because she is more attractive than a Swedish whore…

  89. …because “an oxen in a glass store”…

  90.   …because she pronounced “hyperbole” as “hi-per-bowl”

  91. …because she’s an underexplainer…

  92. …because she never completes dad’s lists

  93. …because she made up a bunch of House Rules that have never been followed

  94. …because she almost burned down Laurie’s new kitchen in London…

  95. …because even though we don’t like it, she has kept her blog going for over a year

  96. …because she paints and sculpts

  97. …because her personality is still there and she’s more than just an empty husk…

  98.  …because it’s too hard being Christian

  99. …because it’s also hard being Jewish…

  100. …because no matter what, and despite her protests, we know she loves us (but don’t tell anyone).

 

Love,

Keely, Andie,

and Daniel

 

 

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25 Comments

  1. Sidnee James
    January 11, 2012

    This was just precious! I love #10 — glad I’m not the only one who has done that, and I am a bit concerned about #44. Ha!

    http://www.sidneeblogs.com

    • Lynn
      January 11, 2012

      hahaha…the garage door. I will never live that down. EVER

      the bullet wound is what i told people my scar from rotator cuff surgery was!!!!!

  2. Amy
    January 11, 2012

    #85 – I’m with you there! I never thought that would be on my list but I just got done watching the first season of The Walking Dead and there is some bad ass crossbow killing going on (and they are killing zombies!)

    You back into garage doors…I back into my husbands pickup truck when it’s not parked where it’s suppose to be. That’s right, totally NOT my fault.

    • Lynn
      January 11, 2012

      I agree…stuff gets in the way

  3. Pamela D Hart
    January 11, 2012

    “…because all meals are homemade somewhere”

    I will have to remember #11 when my husband isn’t here to cook and I order out.

    (#10) Even though I didn’t back into the garage door, it did come DOWN onto the roof of my brother-in-law’s SUV (I was using it) and I couldn’t figure out what the hell the noise was on the roof! Although no one LOVED me for it!

    I want a list. Going to tell my ungrateful spawn to write me one.

    Awesome list, Lynn! LOVE it! Your kids Rock for that!
    Pamela D Hart recently posted..I’m Not That Kind Of Girl!My Profile

    • Lynn
      January 11, 2012

      Pam! it was such a surprise and it might be the BEST present i ever got. So many of them are inside jokes … but still

  4. Missy | Literal Mom
    January 11, 2012

    Best list ever. You have some great kids and it totally shows in this list.

    • Lynn
      January 11, 2012

      thanks girl…it brought tears to my eyes. also, i’m going to publish Kevin’s list

  5. Jennifer June
    January 11, 2012

    Martyr Starter Kit? I’m intrigued…
    Jennifer June recently posted..Supersonic Super Star And Smelly Cat (Phoebe goes to the vet and Jen Gets Some Sleep… ?)My Profile

    • Lynn
      January 11, 2012

      There’s a post about it..just search for it

  6. Julie
    January 11, 2012

    Awesome gift. I would have been weepy too. It’s proof that you raised the little fookers right! (I like #88 the best.)

    • Lynn
      January 11, 2012

      Thanks

  7. Melanie
    January 11, 2012

    Love it. My favorite is #13 ’cause I get so excited when I found forgotten money in my pants you would think I won the Lotto.

    • Lynn
      January 11, 2012

      Me too!! I call it manna from heaven

  8. Faith.The Blond.
    January 11, 2012

    I would say they forgot one, but I think it probably happened after Christmas, so it would be #101 ….because she would sleep with the fishies……lol

    Awesome list from some awesome kids. You’re a lucky lady there, Ms. Lynn!

    • Lynn
      January 11, 2012

      Yeah…that was after Christmas. Also, they didn’t find that amusing…as per usual

  9. Mayor Gia
    January 11, 2012

    Awww how nice. That’s a gift you hold on to…
    Mayor Gia recently posted..Robot GirlfriendMy Profile

    • Lynn
      January 11, 2012

      Yeah… I will

  10. Alaina
    January 11, 2012

    #21 braveheart? i dont get it.

    awesome gift though!

    • Lynn
      January 12, 2012

      Read the post on how I become all fooked up…it explains it there. Use the search bar at the bottom of the page

      • alaina
        January 12, 2012

        **light bulb goes on** makes sense. awesome movie.

  11. Megan
    January 12, 2012

    How sweet… There are plenty of reasons why I love my mom and the best gift I ever give her is my love. Thank you for sharing these great lists.

    • Lynn
      January 12, 2012

      Thank you

  12. rdb
    January 17, 2012

    This is so funny and soooooooo YOU! I think you could keep going and you did forget one……You don’t make your kids clean their cars! Who does that btw? haha!

    • Lynn
      January 18, 2012

      Robin! You’re alive!!!! Good to know…

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